Okay, so went back to work today.
Dropped my 1 year old son off at his first CM, and I couldnt focus on work all day. I was watching the clock all day until i could get back to pick him up and cuddle him.
My new job, hours are 9-4, but after commuting, DS is at CM's 8-5. I guess what I'm trying to say is, the guilt I'm feeling for leaving him to go to work, is eating me up! After getting home with him, I held him and cried. I honestly dont know if this is going to get any better for me like "they" all say it will. I dread leaving him tomorrow morning already. I'm crying here typing this.
Is this normal? I should be excited about restarting my career and the bit of extra pennies we'll be getting (not much as childcare takes 80%). So what's left after childcare, I kinda feel like why am I being away from him all that time, for so little.
Another factor that really bugs me, DH is in the Army, so he's hardly ever home as he deploys later this year. I also feel guilty about DS missing his dad (they are SUPER close) and then his mom abandoning him all day to go to work too!
All our family lives abroad, he's only got me, and his dad. And I think that maybe that's why i feel so so unbelievably bad about leaving him at CM.
Please, if anyone could give me any sort of positive feedback, just to get my mind back on track tonight, I would be forever grateful. DH is away at the moment too, so his support would have been heaven sent right now.
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Started new job today and have been crying all evening!
7 replies
PrincessJackie · 01/05/2013 22:17
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