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returning work fulltime Husband to stay at home

(7 Posts)
nicnack2 Wed 17-May-06 20:12:03

Just accepted a job. Its promotion,fulltime(workerd partime). Have wanted to go back full time for a while but now i have accepted it i feel guilty that DS2 isnt going to have mummy at home as much as DS1. DH delighted to be a stay at home dad. Anyone else in this situation

nooka Wed 17-May-06 21:09:34

I had a year like this. dh and the kids loved it! I felt a little left out, but I have worked full time ever since the kids were little, so never really done the SAH thing.

bootsmonkey Wed 17-May-06 21:19:16

If your husband is happy to do it, then work and enjoy. Your DS is still looked after and loved by one parent through the day - who says it has to be the mum to make it 'right'?? I am biased as I work full time and DH has looked after our DD since 4mo. She is happy, healthy & well adjusted, although probably more of a tomboy than is she had been brought up by me. I however suffer the guilt of not being there, and there has been more clinginess on and off than if it had been daddy leaving in the morning. This may be a daughter thing too, though. I think it is a fantastic solution - one of you has to work, I presume, so why not you. Your DS will not suffer for it, I am sure. HTH

tribpot Wed 17-May-06 21:25:11

I work full-time, my dh is a sort of full-time SAHD (is chronically ill, so in reality we are getting by on a wing, a prayer, and the fact ds has a long sleep in the morning).

I feel guilty about not being here - I normally go into work in the afternoon, work at home in the morning. Ds is clingy as hell of me, but that's just his age (11 months) and I'm sure he would be the same if I was here all day and dh was out at work.

Some things will be harder for your dh, like convincing the HV that he can actually be addressed on matters pertaining to childcare (my hv refuses to do this, not helped by the fact dh is too ill to go to baby clinic, so I have to do it).

Congratulations on the promotion, and remember it's great that your ds2 can have a parent around full-time!

nicnack2 Wed 17-May-06 21:28:16

thanks for that. DH is looking forward to it already and i have just accepted the job. He is already writing his notice! Will keep them both at the childminder 2.5 days to give DH a break which eases my guilt and for DH to start own business.

slug Thu 18-May-06 17:08:49

Just think of what you are giving your ds. He is going to grow up knowing that men can be nurturing. He's going to realise that housework is not women's work. He's going to grow up learning that women can be the main breadwinner and that their career can be just as important. He's going to have what so few boys get, a full time male role model.

DH has been a SAHD to the sluglet for 3 years now. They have a lovely close relationship. She benefits from all the things he can give her that I can't, like an intimate knowledge of plants and animals (DH is a scientist). When I come home from work we have 'mummy' time.

I'm one of those people who needs to work for their own sanity. Dh loves being a SAH Daddy. He's happy, I'm happy, the sluglet has the best of both worlds. What's not to like about the situation?

nicnack2 Thu 18-May-06 17:38:22

Thanks everyone feeling better. Dh will be super and infact far more domestic than me. Watching DH and DS 1 and 2 at the moment and they look all so contented

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