DD, 16mo, is ill. Nothing too serious-chest infection, horrid cold, feeling miserable. I am off work looking after her and feeling guilty for dropping my colleagues in it. (I'm a teacher.) I hate setting work for a cover teacher, I hate letting down my classes, I hate the catch up work I'll have to do when I go back.
DH is going to work from home tomorrow so I can go in. Where I will feel guilty for being at work instead of with my ill baby, will miss her, worry about her and probably be irritable and teach crap lessons as a result.
I'm 99% sure I'm going to quit my 'gold-dust' 2.5 day (but actually spread over 4) job and be a stay at home mum (based on more than just this illness!). I will doubtless then feel bad for not contributing to the family finances, including saving for DD's future, will miss teaching, miss the interaction with kids and colleagues, not be as good at being with DD all day as I want to be, and possibly-though I hope not-regret it.
But every day I'm at work and DD is at nursery I feel annoyed at myself that someone else is looking after her, I miss her, I worry about her and wish I was with her.
I JUST WANT TO BE RICH ENOUGH THAT I CAN BE A SAHM AND NOT HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY.
:(
Sorry. Just needed to whinge.
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I hate this :(
7 replies
AntoinetteCosway · 16/01/2013 16:34
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