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How many of you have both parents working f/t?

(60 Posts)
YoSaffBridge Fri 21-Dec-12 23:01:32

Just saw a thread that made me think about this. I know I am in a rarity: DH and I both work f/t. Luckily DH works shifts so DD isn't in childcare any more than about 30 hours a week. Anymore than about 40 hours and I think I would prefer a nanny, which we can't afford. But at the moment, I am in a profession which is struggling through the recession so a f/t job is preferable to no job at all.

However I don't know anyone else who have both parents working f/t, or anyone else whose DH is probably doing more childcare. Now my friends are starting to go back to work, I'm beginning to get comments on us both working f/t.

I guess I'm just interested in a rough straw poll - how many people have both parents working f/t? I feel in a massive minority here.

AnnoyedAtWork Sun 23-Dec-12 20:47:28

All the parents (that i know of) at DD's school both work full time. It's nice to be around fellow evil careerists people

AfterEightMintyy Sun 23-Dec-12 20:44:43

Have to say I am scratching my head to think of partnerships I know where both work full time.

I suppose my boss does, but between them they earn an absolute fortune and employ a full-time Nanny.

I has never been possible in my marriage - my dh works 60+ hours a week sometimes, often away at a day's notice etc, and if I had worked full time too then my dc would barely have ever seen a parent. Which is not what we wanted for them.

AnnoyedAtWork Sun 23-Dec-12 20:44:21

Wanted to add, no idea how we could have a baby in our current setup, not only cos double FT childcare cost but also sheer logistics. Really hoping to get to a point in career (soon?) where one or both of us could WFH a couple of days a week. I also have no social life or time for hobbies, but I guess that is normal for working parents shock

AnnoyedAtWork Sun 23-Dec-12 20:37:33

Very exhausted with no family help but a school that runs 7.30am to 6.30pm means we can both work full time (in London so 30-45 mins travel just from work to school then 15min home). I work 6/7am to 5.30pm and DP works 8.30ish to 6.30ish. He does morning school run I do evening. I do laundry he does cooking. Wish we could have better work life balance but we are lucky to both have good jobs and we are building a secure future for us and DD (7).

redskyatnight Sun 23-Dec-12 19:33:09

We both work f/t but our children are in school. We have no family help but I start early (dropping DC in breakfast club) and am home by 4.30, and DH works flexible hours so he can do after school pick up and then works later when I get home (he works from home!). I'm finding more and more families where both parents work full time as the children get older. Also, in the current recession, people are losing p/t jobs and then taking any job they can find - which is often a f/t one.

Also know many couples where e.g. they work different days (e.g. dad works Mon-Fri and mum Wed-Sun) or different hours (one works days, one evenings/weekends) to minimise childcare.

housesalehelp Sun 23-Dec-12 08:33:05

we both work full time - but its only be since september and my DS1 is just 7 - part-time before then I do have a flexiable employer/boss - I know a few people would work full time hours but its often at least some days start early and finish early say so they can do some school picks up - I think its still quite unsual - most mums I know work part-time

drcrab Sun 23-Dec-12 08:26:11

We both work full time and until dh got made redundant he had a 2 hr commute each day so was out of the house 7.30am-7.30pm everyday. He's now set up by himself so works for himself which is probably more hours (nights etc) but its made it much easier in terms of work life balance (eg he does drop off at school and pick up although I do 1-2 days) and I drop off and pick up my younger at nursery.

We can't do without both in ft jobs ESP after he got made redundant. I cannot imagine what would have happened if we didn't have my job bringing in the money for bills!!!

Recently was at a school parents meal and I mentally took a poll and realized that all the mums there bar me were working part time or not at all. All in career type jobs but all pt. most of them also of the brigade of cake making for Christmas fair (I don't have a problem with that but I don't appreciate the comments like 'oh are you mum? Haven't seen you before...' And other similar bollocks). hmm

Flosshilde Sun 23-Dec-12 00:31:33

We both work f/t, albeit I do my hours across 4 days with evening and weekend working at home and a late finish every other week. We also both have a 30ish mile commute which takes around an hour.

DS is at nursery and I have also booked a place for DC2 as I have every intention of going back to the same working pattern after mat leave this time.

It has been fine, generally, but very difficult for me during this pregnancy as I have been constantly sick and exhausted. ILs help out in so far as they will cover if my DH wants to go out to his hobby at 7pm and I'm not in till 9pm, say.

My job is reasonably flexible and I have no problem leaving at 4.30 every day other than when I have an evening meeting. DH happily takes leave to cover me when I have to work on my usually non-working day, every couple of months or so. He has no limit on his leave, but he isn't paid for it.

It does seem to be unusual though and I do get some hmm looks when I have the temerity to say I work because I love it rather than being forced to by financial necessity.

scottishmummy Sat 22-Dec-12 23:51:20

my parents worked ft when I was wee through school
I wouldnt have it any other way.I need stimulation and brain food of work
mn seems skewed to housewives and pt work,not so many ft two parents on mn

LadyWidmerpool Sat 22-Dec-12 23:48:31

Both FT. Only way we could afford to start a family so we always planned it like this. It's not easy but what is? It works fine for us overall.

emsyj Sat 22-Dec-12 23:44:32

The other two couples I know who both work FT, the wife earns more than the husband (substantially more in one case). I am FT because I've just started a graduate scheme and I wanted to have a few months to find my feet. I can drop to 4 days without a problem, but I can't do any less for the next 4 years. Will see how things are then, and will consider dropping to 3 days - not sure yet.

We could afford for me to be at home, but I don't want to be - not all the time. I like my job and enjoy having a balance of work and home life, although I am finding FT is hard going and I'm looking forward to returning 4 days after mat leave.

BlueyDragon Sat 22-Dec-12 23:36:44

Both full time under normal circs here (I'm on sick leave atm) with long hours. DCs are 5 and 2. It's difficult and exhausting but our respective specialisms don't really allow for PT so it's FT or nothing; I do have flexible working though so have some early starts and some late ones. Frankly without our nanny it would be almost impossible. We both work hard to make sure we have as much time with the DCs as possible. The precious moments brigade have nothing to say to me, probably because I'm at work grin. I don't feel I've missed anything and one or other of DH and I are at all DC1's school events, thanks to holidays, working from home or understanding employers. Maybe my DC will tell me a different story when they're older. It is easier now that more men are asking for time to go to children's plays and sports days, the corporate resistance seems to be less.

I know a few couples who are both full time but it is the exception rather than the rule. Usually one FT (usually the man) and one PT.

Arisbottle Sat 22-Dec-12 23:36:06

We both work full time, I would imagine that is the norm. Being a SAHM is not an option for most middle income types.

emsyj Sat 22-Dec-12 23:35:38

We both work ft at the moment, but I am 34 weeks pregnant and have arranged to return 4 days. DD is 2.5. I don't think we would manage long term with both of us doing ft - it's hectic. FiL & MIL have DD one day a week, she's with a CM the rest of the time. DH works at home 2 days and does drop off/pick up (I do a long day one of those days as I travel to a training centre and leave the house at 6.40am returning at 6.30pm) and I do drop off and pick up 2 days, we share the drop off to the ILs on a Friday and they bring DD home in the evening which is a help.

When I go back on 4 days I will be doing one long day (training centre), 2 normal days (flexible hours) in the office and one day at home (study). DH is going to drop a half day as he works a lot at home and in the evenings so he'll make up that time elsewhere (so effectively still FT, just re-jigged hours) which means DD will be at preschool 5 mornings plus at home with me one PM, with DH one PM, with ILs one PM and possibly with my DMum one PM and CM one too.... Baby will be 2.5 days with CM and 1 day with ILs.

It's all so bloody complicated and the logistics of pick up and drop off are what's tiring for us really - CM is 10 mins' drive away and it's not on the way to either of our workplaces, so it's an extra 25 mins at each end of the day. But DD is settled there so we don't want to move her.

I know a couple of other people who are both FT - one couple have ILs to do drop offs and pick ups plus they do 2 days of childcare a week, and the DH is a teacher who is home for 3.30pm every day. The DW works at home 2 days a week also. The other couple are both in nursing, she is a ward manager with a regular 9-5 job and they use the nursery that's on the hospital site which is £££ but convenient and good.

I don't know how people do it without flexible jobs and lots of help. My job is very relaxed and flexible and DH is very senior and can effectively come and go as he pleases so neither of us are tied to fixed start and finish times. If we were, I think it would be very very hard.

MelanieWiggles Sat 22-Dec-12 23:31:46

Both working full time, although I will be dropping to four days when things get less busy at work. I will have to work five days though from time to time and have to be contactable on my free day. I work 8:30-5, DH works at least a 12 hour day. It is hard but I don't want to give up work - I have worked my ass off to get where I am and I love my job (most of the time anyway). Children (3 and 1) are in nursery.

Most of my friends who have children of a similar age (pre-school) both work full time. I do think it becomes more difficult once they hit school age.

rosy71 Sat 22-Dec-12 23:26:33

We both work full-time - both teachers. Ds1 is 7 and ds2 is 4. They go to breakfast club every day and after-school club 3 times a week. Grandparents pick up on the other days. I've only recently gone full-time again - I was working 4 days a week. Until about 18 months ago, worked at the weekends and had days off with the boys in the week. I did notice things get harder to manage when he started working Monday-Friday again.

Casmama Sat 22-Dec-12 23:25:02

Bollocks grin

bogwobbit Sat 22-Dec-12 23:24:52

Dh and I have both always worked full-time (my oldest two are now grown up, the younger two are 15 and 8) other than when dh was a student and even then he had an evening job. I would say that it this is probably fairly unusual amongs friends and accquaintances.
One of the worst things I find is having a longish commute to work as well as full time hours (2 hours per day) which although I'm used to it definitely makes things harder, particularly when after-school activities often seem to start at 6pm hmm

Casmama Sat 22-Dec-12 23:24:12

My dh and I both work full time and woe betide anyone who would like to make a face or a comment about it [Grin]

headfairy Sat 22-Dec-12 23:21:05

Both my parents worked full time when I was a child, from the age of 11 my mother spent about one week in three abroad. I was definitely in a minority.

PortiaPony Sat 22-Dec-12 23:20:47

Both work full time, 9-5 mon-fri. Dd is in nursery and has been since she was 9mths old. No family near us, no network at all to help out. It's hard and you have to be super organised but we make it work. Having said that I dont think we'll have any more kids.

headfairy Sat 22-Dec-12 23:19:56

Sorry, forgot to say I work in an insanely competitive industry so working less tan I do would seriously jeopardise my future.

DingDongKethryverilyonHigh Sat 22-Dec-12 23:18:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

headfairy Sat 22-Dec-12 23:18:34

We both work ft, I also do shifts, long ones at that - 13 hours, so I only need to do three days a week. We have a nanny as dh doesn't get home until 7pm most evenings.

redwellybluewelly Sat 22-Dec-12 23:16:20

Both my parents worked full time although DM worked as a consultant and was often around, we had a ft nanny in the holidays.

DH and I each work a nine day fortnight and DD is in childcare four days a week. I am pg so after maternity leave will be PT from when dc2 is six months to a year before returning to work FT. I enjoy my career and as an older mum don't want to let my qualifications slide

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