Hi mumsnetters
I am in a bit of a dilemma and need some words of wisdom before I make a decision. Have name changed for this and will not be going into much detail to avoid being recognised.
I am currently on maternity leave and due to go back in 3 months. I do not know what decision to make regarding returning to work or quitting job and finding a new one. (well I do know the decision I want to make but I am under a lot of pressure to decide the other option).
Pro's of returning to work
-Will provide financial security (although high risk of redundancy)
-My OH wants me to go back
-I'm scared of not finding work and us struggling etc
Cons of returning to work
-I hate my job
-I hate my work place (bullying of most staff memebers; underhand tactics)
-I have worked in this job for 5 years and feel like it has a negative impact on my life
-This job makes me physically unwell (with the stress) and has had a negative impact on my mental health (When the stress becomes too much at work, I have bouts of depression)
-I commute a long way to/from work on public transport (2 hrs each way)
-I travel on public transport for hours each day as part of my job
-I am physically unwell (recovering from surgery and worried that returning to work place would cause me to have another bout of depression (I am coming to terms with a traumatic birth where my baby and I nearly died)
-I have stopped sleeping properly (finding it hard to get off to sleep/waking lots throughout the night since thinking about going back to work)
- I have a constant feeling of dread in my belly (like a knot) since thinking about going back to work
-Despite promises around help with housework when I go back this will not happen (I do mostly everything whether working fulltime/part time or sahm)
I work with vulnerable people so I have to be on the ball and provide a high standard of care. The decisions which I make can be extremely tough and I am dealing with people's problems on a daily basis. The job is emotionally demanding and can be heart breaking. I feel that now would be a good time to hand in my notice as they have a replacement for me and I feel trapped in the job (I do not want this to have an impact on the people I work with). If I go back then my OH says I will have to stay a year and I dont think I will be able to. Obviously financial security is a big factor (I have 3 young children).
What would you do? TIA