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SAHM bewildered by stepping out into work world...

(9 Posts)
expansivegirth Mon 05-Nov-12 13:05:13

Six years away from what was once an all encompassing career. Left when I was confident and capable. Found job easy. Just now making first tentative forays back as self employed... got first tiny weeny job... and blew it! I thought I'd breeze in and be the old self of my memory. Instead I was more like someone on work experience. I've lost confidence. I hashed up something that would have taken me max of one hour before. It's taken two days and I think I may have to junk it. This man will never give me work again. Part of the problem is equipment: my world of work has moved on and I'm out of date, and I don't have everything I need. I'll get it now and seeks some training. But most of it is confidence. Feel humiliated. I'd like to know if this has happened to anyone else and what I could maybe do about it!

TapasGirl Tue 06-Nov-12 11:02:25

Perfectly normal, particularly about taking so much longer to do particular jobs. You must hang on in there because things WILL get easier. The biggest mistake would be to let this lack of confidence put you off completely. The more you do the better/quicker you will become.

If you have had a successful career in the past, you will still have it in you to pick this up again. You just need time. Training will really help you to move forward.

I wish you the best of luck.

Changingways Tue 06-Nov-12 14:42:24

I feel for you having been someone myself who made the decision to take time out from work I know only too well that feeling that seems like it will never go away. Trust me it does.
A few key hings to remember is returning to work is not unlike my analogy with exercise. If you were running 10k everyday I guess at somepoint it begins to feel like a breeze (equate that to being in your familiar role at work)there would be the challenge of completing your 10 miles etc (so the odd presentation or project) if you took time off from running (this case your career break) would you expect to be able to just hit your 10k in your first few runs? (in this case you returning to work) I guess reaslistically you would huff & puff for a good month or two to get your fitness level anywhere near what they were ! whilst experiencing the feeling of frustration that internally you would be saying which is I can't belive I cant cant even run I used to be able to.... (so building your confidence is important as is your skills) give yourself time and be kind to yourself congratulate yourself on having got the confidence to get this far first and foremost.
There's a lot to be said for 'time' and try not to be so hard on yourself.
Good luck

SweetGrapes Tue 06-Nov-12 20:02:55

Hang in there. I joined work after more than 7 years and now after 2 months I still feel like a work ex some days.
It will get better. I felt like one of those people in movies who get frozen and wake up after so many years. At least that feeling has gone now.
Do try and get as much training as possible. Ask as many questions as you can and google EVERYTHING. I talk to people and then run to my desk and note everything down and just google the keywords. Often, I find I actually know what it is - it's just the lingo that's changed.

expansivegirth Tue 06-Nov-12 20:28:34

Thanks so much.

Frozen in time. Oh yes!

Polygon Tue 06-Nov-12 20:46:05

I just came back from a review after starting back freelance after only a year out. I completely lost my confidence in the meeting. It turned out I had misunderstood one part of the job that I was supposed to be doing and that made me a complete wreck in discussing the rest of it as well. I just completely messed up. AAAaaaarrrrggghhh. And DH is away on business so I don´t even have someone to share a glass of wine with.

janey68 Thu 08-Nov-12 07:47:48

I like the analogy with running.
No one would expect to get up one morning and run a half marathon if they hadnt exercised for years. It doesn't mean you don't have the capability and capacity to do it: it's just that you have been out of the workplace a long time and have lost confidence and your skills need updating. It will get easier- hang on in there

expansivegirth Thu 08-Nov-12 15:09:07

I also found the running analogy helpful. Thanks.
Unfortunately i really think i screwed it up and will not be asked back.
it is a great pity because i loved it.

startlife Fri 09-Nov-12 21:36:11

Great advice but consider if you can you get yourself a mentor, a friend who you can chat through work with. Most people are delighted to help.

Now you've had the experience it's worth looking would you do differently? I'm sure you've learnt something from the experience so don't see it as a negative experience.

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