really scared, worried and need a bit of a pep talk(3 Posts)
I'm on the point of losing a job I love and have done reasonably well for 8 years. I used to love the company but management have in the past year or so turned into a bunch of total c** and appear to be trying to push us into resigning because they don't want to pay us off. They'll have a fight, but ultimately its going to be a losing battle for me as its been made clear I won't ever be promoted there.
I came back after having my first and probably only child last November and -- if I'm totally honest -- the quality of my work has deteriorated but I'm still more than competent. I love my job (I'm a journalist) and I'm really really scared that after I lose this one I'll never get back into a career again.
I can handle being a sahm for a bit -- in some ways looking forward to it -- but I'm not looking forward to the fact that people will consider me essentially unemployable because I've been made redundant. There are no jobs in journalism (unless you want to work for free or are screwing the editor) and I can't get a job in anything adjacent -- have been trying and failing to get into PR which I don't even want to do its just the logical thing ex journalists do. I don't care what I do, I'm not fussy just want to do anything which will pay me enough that I can pay my mortgage, help support my husband and child and save a bit of money for my daughter's future (and with a degree of work satisfaction, but not fussed about working in the media. Is that a totally unrealistic prospect after having been made redundant? I've just lost so much confidence I can't imagine ever getting another job.
It's absolutely awful to be made redundant, and I know as it happened to me twice. First time I had 'the talk' with my manager, and he listed about 15 points why they were't going to offer me a contract next year. You can imagine how that made me feel...Much later I realised that 1. he was very shit at being a manager clearly. 2. he needed to justify to himself why he was doing this, so had made this big list of negative points, it was nothing to do with me being rubbish. 3. The 'sales targets' type job didn't fit me anyway, so he was right not to want me, really.
I took a 4 week break, just to recover, then started looking for a job that would better fit me. Guess what, within 3 months I had my dream job. At the interview I even told them why I had not had a follow-on contract. My new boss thought this was an advantage, as he had been afraid I was really turned on by sales targets and this new job was very different. I know it sounds impossible where you are at now, but who knows what can happen in 3 months?
The next time I saw it coming. At 'the talk' I interrupted my manager. Told him 'I know you have to do this. But look I need to get on from here, with confidence to do the next thing. Would you be able to focus on the things I did do well, so that will help me in my next steps.' And he understood and did. It worked much better. It still was a blow to be the one having to leave. I now work for myself, partly because I couldn't face being out there fighting for a job again. Little did I know working for yourself is an ongoing job interview (-;. I do love it though, and I know it would have never happened, had I not been made redundant.
One door closes, others open. It's not how you feel now. It just isn't. Give yourself a break, some time to 'grieve'. Then move on when you can, to the next big thing. The new you!
Thanks, that's really helpful. The thing that's taken me by surprise is the extent to which this has eaten away at my self-confidence. Its really good to hear from other people who've come back from it.
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