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Unhappy in work after maternity leave

(5 Posts)
Albaba Mon 01-Oct-12 15:25:49

I have just returned to work 4 days a week after a years maternity leave after having twins, our first children. I have been back a couple of weeks and am really not enjoying it. It's not that I miss the babies as such as I have good childcare sorted for 4 days a week. I returned and everyone asked how I and the babies were with the exception of our section mananger who said absolutley nothing to me. Not welcome back, good to see you or enquired how I or the babies were! The man is good at the work but has zero people skills but even for him I thought that it was dreadful. It doesn't exactly make you feel valued or appreciated does it? The first thing he said to me was work related. It was if he hadn't even noticed that I had been gone for a year and then looked up one morning and noticed that I was back. The work doesn't interest me at all. It is the sort of work were you are flat out busy or have nothing to do at all. Since I went back I have had very little to do and I feel that I am wasting me time especially as I am paying out for childcare to go to work. My colleagues are all a lot older than I am. While I can make a bit of polite converation I don't feel that I have any real friends there or that any of them are on my wavelength. When I was coming to the end of my maternity leave I was looking forward back out to work again. I am a hard worker and want to work and find it soul destroying having nothing to do or trying to stretch a job out for as long as possible. I have been going to Mother and Baby groups and feel really jealous when other Mummys say things like they are a Nurse or Teacher and are passionate about their jobs. I don't feel like I can say anything in work due to poor management and my Husband has the opposite problem were he is stressed out and under a lot of pressure. He knows that I am not happy but I don't like to burden him with my problems too. Its got to the stage were I dread having to go to work and break the day down in to sections until I can go home then have to get up and do it all the next day. I have a permanent headache and only really feel like me when I am on days off and am at home. We need my salary too for the mortgage and nursery fees. I am not a quitter but don't feel like I can stay in a job which is making me unhappy. Help?

minipie Tue 02-Oct-12 10:48:36

Hi, I would say give it a bit more time. It sounds like you haven't been back long? I think many mothers have a phase where they hate being back at work but things may change in a few weeks (especially if you get given some proper work to do). So, giving it a bit of time may help you work out whether it's being back at work per se that you are disliking, or whether it's this particular job.

Why not set a deadline, for example you will give it 6 weeks and then reassess how you are feeling. At least that will make it seem like it's not endless and you have a plan. In the meantime you could investigate what your other job options might look like. Would you be able to get a 4 day a week position somewhere else, and if not, is it worth going full time in order to move somewhere better?

The permanent headache is a worry. Do you need your eyes checked, or posture, are you drinking enough? Do you get any neckache or shoulderache. Your bady may be a bit different to before maternity leave so you might need to change your work set up.

Nevercan Tue 02-Oct-12 14:04:53

Give it a bit more time to settle back in before you decide. Can you do things at work when it's quiet that you can't do whilst at home with kids.... like Internet food other shopping....

oscarwilde Fri 12-Oct-12 10:26:24

Give it more time and if you can take the advantage of quiet time at work to do some personal stuff then do. What did you do previously if you had a quiet period?
Do you have any e-training modules that you can do at work?
Also, everyone has gotten used to you not being around so they won't automatically think of you if they are overloaded. Is everyone else really quiet too? Ask for more work, preferably from people more senior so it is interesting and helps you developmentally.
If you have been back at work a few weeks and have no written objectives as yet, then you could ask your manager for some. It will remind them of your existence and hopefully you will get something interesting to do.

ProjectOysterdotcom Fri 12-Oct-12 14:58:07

What an awful situation! Nothing worse than being stuck in a job doing something you don't enjoy and being apart from your little ones just tops it off.

Have you thought about a career change? Starting something up on the side? You may be able to go part time if you could support your income doing something else too, just make sure it's something you really enjoy this time!

I certainly don't believe you should sit in a situation that makes you unhappy.

Have a think about what you really wanted to do with your life, before you had children, before you got stuck in this job, what was it you always wanted to do?

It's never, ever too late x

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