Back to work struggling to cope

(16 Posts)
walrusmoustache Thu 27-Sep-12 18:28:49

I recently went back part time 3 days week, my son is 9.5 mo and I'm a primary teacher, doing job share.
Just need a little advice please, or a kick up the bum. I'm hating being back, just want to be at home but we need the money. Feel like I'm failing everywhere; at work, at home, being a constantly tired mummy.
The house is a total pit, never have dinner ready, huge pile of dirty washing etc
Does anyone have any tips on how to cope? Does it get any easier? At the moment it feels awful and most nights after work I spend in tears. Wish I could resign but it's just not possible with mortgage and bills to pay.

OP’s posts: |
Autumnalis Thu 27-Sep-12 18:34:49

It's early days. What do you hate? The mess? Dinner not ready? If you are two adults in the house, share the jobs. It gets easier, your standards drop somewhat too smile

cheekypickle Thu 27-Sep-12 19:08:36

Okay so this is not very helpful but I hate it too!!!!

I'm a primary school teacher gone back 3days a week with 13 month old.

All I can say is that I don't love my job anymore! I love my little one.

I go to work, do the job and come home and don't think about it again.

walrusmoustache Thu 27-Sep-12 19:22:00

I hate the fact that I can't seem to do anything right, not work - where I can't be bothered, not home - where I'm too tired to get anything done.
The house being a mess and being disorganised is just not me, or didn't use to be anyway

OP’s posts: |
Nevercan Thu 27-Sep-12 20:56:02

I went back three days after my two maternity leaves. It does get better and you find a way to get all the jobs done. I do a couple of things each night and if things are getting really behind I get my other half to take them out on a sat morning for a couple of hours so I can get stuff done. On my days at home during the week we do fun stuff in the morning and then play at home in the afternoon whilst I potter and get bits done. HTH

Autumnalis Thu 27-Sep-12 21:11:31

Walrus - is this just since you went back to work? I know lots of mums find maternity leave or staying at home tiring and messy.

hairytale Fri 28-Sep-12 12:36:37

What is your partner doing to share the parenting/housework?

walrusmoustache Fri 28-Sep-12 13:32:04

Thanks everyone so far! If I'm being honest, the house was also a mess and dinner was never done when I was at home all the time on mat leave, just feels even worse now because it's a whole new level of tired with being back at work.
My husband is a nurse and works shifts; days he does early shifts he sorts out dinner and tries to tidy, late shifts he can't. He is very good really and fantastic at helping me with our DS if I need some time to work/tidy etc.
Thinking over this to myself, I think it's more the fact that I really can't stand being at the school I'm at. It was getting bad there about a year before I was pregnant, it was terrible when I was pregnant (but I knew I was going on mat leave) and now that I'm back it's just awful. What I really need to do is look for a position in another school and just deal with it while I still have to work there.

OP’s posts: |
walrusmoustache Fri 28-Sep-12 13:33:27

Forgot to say, the days I work my husband gets our son up, does his breakfast and takes him to nursery so all I have to do is a breastfeed!

OP’s posts: |
forevergreek Fri 28-Sep-12 14:27:53

Try making life easy if possible on Those days. Just work and see son.

Get a cleaner once a week/ fortnight. Most £8per/hr but just once for a few hours a fortnight would mean bathrooms/ kitchen etc fully cleaned by someone and hoovered around. Then you can just do day to day

Eat baked potatoes/ freshed stuffed pasta/ salads on those days you work atm until your settled. Batch cook and freeze into portions a loads of sauces that you can just add quickly ( baby can have too)

It will get easier as baby gets older

petalpower Sat 29-Sep-12 21:05:12

Teaching is really hard work (part time primary teacher here!) and difficult to switch off from. It does get easier as you get into a routine. I work 3.5 days at the moment and my DC are 12 and 10. My husband works away Mon-Fri and it is difficult to feel that you're doing anything properly.

Mosman Mon 01-Oct-12 07:28:26

I think you should look at getting another job where you failing and not being bothered will have less impact. These are OUR precious children you have three days per week and you can't be arsed ? I will be looking at all job sharing teachers in a whole new light.

Napsalot Mon 01-Oct-12 07:40:16

Getting a cleaner changed our lives! Ours comes every other week and it means we don't spend our precious time at home cleaning or thinking about cleaning. Highly recommend it -money well spent!

I feel for you -it does get a little easier as you get used to it.

Nishky Mon 01-Oct-12 07:49:16

I agree with mosman

Skyblue2016 Wed 06-Sep-17 20:22:23

Oh for goodness sake at least she is being honest - when you have a child of your own your priorities totally change and other people's children are not so "precious" to you. It's not out of badness and I bet any working parent not just teachers feel the same

Twym886192 Tue 19-Sep-17 16:43:09

Hey there, have you considered supply teaching? Yes you don't know where you are day to day but you do know you will be out by 4pm most days. I mark all my work during lunch and break times so I can leave as early as possible.
Are you in London? I can recommend good agency. 155 per day . Not bad pay. PM me if you're interested x
And I also know a very good cleaner for 8ph. She is a domestic goddess. X

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