Being back at work, and working early morning and late night shifts!

[mammaclaire2011]

Hey I've been back three weeks now, and I'm really struggling with my shift pattern. I work In a residential school for disabled young people.

I work a fixed Rota that I agreed to before returning work. But I'm now finding it really difficult with being away from my baby girl. I'm really lucky with child care as its split between my husband and my parents and my in-laws but that doesn't seem to matter. I felt like I'm missing out on so much of my little 10 month old daughters life.

Im working 4 days a week mornings and evenings one week I work 3 evenings in a row I hate it I'm missing tea time, bathtime, all the bedtime routine. Which is such a lovely time of day. We've haven't sat down as family in weeks because of it. I'm crying all the time I'm just generally struggling to cope. I've spoken to both my bosses but they don't seem to be able to help they say that I agreed to the Rota and they can't cope the demands of children if I reduce my hours

Is there anyone else that works shifts? Does this get easier to deal with? Is all this just normal working mum stuff? I feel so out of control I'm normally quite a calm person. But know I can't sleep can't think just constantly down about the whole thing all through mat leave I wasn't fussed bout leaving her but since been back at work I just hate it. Can't bare it. Just don't know what to do for the best.

[Rockchick1984]

I've got no experience of it, but just wanted to say you've not been back at work for long so I'm sure it will get easier! If you're only working 4 days a week, that's practically half the week where you can be with your daughter for the full day, do all the bedtime routine etc. My DH is a very hands-on dad but despite working normal office hours, by the time he gets home from work I've already put our son to bed. He found it tough at first but now it's just our routine, and he makes up for it at the weekends :)

[Justtrying]

mammaclaire its hard but it does get easier. I too work shifts and have a 200+ mile round trip commute on top of the working day which means I either leave the house about 4 am or don't get home until midnight or later. I also am away overnight perhaps 5 nights a month. When I went back to work I hated it, at times I still do but it is easier than it was in the beginning (i've been back at work 6 months).

Having childcare that you implicitly trust helps and reminding yourself that you are setting a good example when your daughter gets older and that you can afford to buy her nice things. Relish the time that you do have together and let some of the non essential housework things go a bit, is a cleaner a possibility? So that time together can be spent doing fun things.

Yes you will miss some firsts, I missed first steps but I could have equally missed them if I worked 9-5. But i've seen a fair few too. Enjoy having a hot cuppa, and going to the loo in peace, I know I do as it really happens at home.

When I first returned to work I was crying all the time and thought it would be like that forever and whilst if I won the lottery I'd be a SAHM tomorrow, it does get better, I think it took me 4 months to be able to leave dd without crying, now she doesn't either, she just waves and carries on playing.

[slothprincess]

I've gone back to work this week and my DD is 9 months old. I'm doing 3 long days. With a 35 mile commute into work, it means I only get to see my baby for a few minutes in the morning and then she's in bed asleep when I get home. It's very hard to not see her, not hold, feed her or put her to bed for those 3 days. But it's reassuring to hear other people say it does get easier. And as I don't have a choice, I suppose I just need to try to get on with it and keep playing the lottery!

[mammaclaire2011]

Thank you, yeah this week has been allot easier. An it will get better I'm sure. But it's just the guilt but I bet that just part of being a mother is ironing not :) lol x