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stay at home mum

(21 Posts)
becca85 Mon 26-Sep-11 17:04:10

hi guys just interested on peoples thoughts on, being a stay at home mum, if you had two children under 2 would you work if the money you earnt only covered child care?? i really want to stay at home and look after the babys but i might end up going mad smile

LizzieBusy Mon 26-Sep-11 17:08:58

if what I earned only covered childcare I would stay home.

However I am not in my dream job and wouldnt be giving up anything that meant something to me. However as I earn a lot more than childcare costs and work 4 days, I am going back, for financial reasons only

SardineQueen Mon 26-Sep-11 17:13:20

Personally, yes I would.

I have found that being at home with 2 little ones does drive me mad, and i would view it that although it only covers the cost now I will gain in not losing my place on the ladder IYSWIM and when the children start getting their free places from 3 onwards.

It's up to you though, obviously. Can you go part-time? That would be the best (or worst?!) of both worlds!

babycakes85 Mon 26-Sep-11 17:46:56

thanks for your posts, i have changed my nick name if your wondering why it is coming up as someone different.

i really hate the job i am in at the min so i wouldnt miss it. i want to give it my best shot looking after them full time but i recon i might loose my marbles smile

FlumpsRule Thu 29-Sep-11 17:09:55

Being a SAHM can feel like a thankless task but is very worthwhile for dcs.

However, getting back into employment is hard after a break, so bear that in mind too, even though financially it may be hardly worth working in the meantime.

Not much advice really - I have worked & felt guilty... that I wasn't being a good enough mum. I have also been a frustrated SAHM with no money & loss of independence but glad my dcs came first & didn't feel I wasn't there for them. Unfortunately we're damned if we do, damned if we don't... wink

cazboldy Thu 29-Sep-11 17:14:13

i wouldn't (and haven't)

my youngest has just started school - and it might seem like it's forever, but in reality it whizzes by!

I think it is important to keep your mind busy though, so have a hobby, or escape occasionally (if circumstances allow)

scarlettsmummy2 Thu 29-Sep-11 17:22:07

I have been a sham and hated it- I lasted eight weeks last summer! I am due my second baby and am going to be in the same position as you i.e. working purely to pay child care, but it will only be for six months. In my opinion, it will be worth it, as I only work 24 hours a week so its not too stressful, and I really enjoy my job.

I really missed adult interaction when I was at home. I had this rose tinted picture of what it would be like, but it was far from reality. I became obsessed with cleaning and argued with my husband a lot more as I had time to focus on petty things I would other wise have let go. All my friends worked so I wasn't able to go for coffee etc, and I found the mums and toddlers groups fine occasionally, but not stimulating enough on a twice weekly basis. I would say think very carefully before handing in your notice.

AngryFeet Thu 29-Sep-11 17:39:50

I had to work part time since my first was 9 months but I am glad I did or I would have gone mad I think! (I almost did anyway wink) It does mean I don't have a gap on my CV and I am further up the career ladder now although I went into a new career (accounts) when I went part time just because it was offered to me and was very flexible. When my second child was 18 months I went from one day a week to two and now they are at school I do three days in school time and 2 in the hols (better for childcare). I can't imagine doing full time even now - I have much respect for those that do but I just manage to fit in work, housework and all the driving around for after-school clubs as it is. Plus with childcare there is very little difference for me working more than I am now.

I would always choose to work but part time is much better for stress levels smile

scarlettsmummy2 Thu 29-Sep-11 18:12:37

I would also agree with angry feet- part time all the way. I have a Friday off and it is total bliss.

WendyMc Thu 29-Sep-11 22:11:39

Hello to all the mums looking to work from home. Hello, I'm at home with my youngest and wasn't at all sure what to do. I just couldn't face the whole 40 hour week stuck in an office life... leaving my children all day with someone else.

A friend introduced me to an amazing network marketing company and now I work flexible hours from home and really do have the family life I wanted. All the training is provided, with the team, with the company, on-line...fantastic - I'd definitely recommend it.

I'd say to anyone find a successful and established network marketing company who have a proven track record and a great product. Do your research, buy the product and try it, you need to like it !! Check out the training and support, if they have the Investors in People award then this is a great start... look at how you get paid, will it give you an income even when you're not working and a residual (pension-style) income ?

Speak to other people in the company and listen to how they got started....then just go for it.......what have you got to lose ???? You will look back and wonder why no-one ever explained network marketing to you before!!

thunderchild Thu 29-Sep-11 22:22:00

I dunno---- just do what your gut tells you.
I'm a stayathome after 20 years in the military, the last six with dd, but I made a good salary.

I wouldn't want to do a full 8/24-5/7 , and run a home, if I were no better off.

But thats just me.

Good luck either way.

WendyMc Thu 29-Sep-11 23:05:30

I would say from my experience part-time is best, 2 kids at home can be a bit of a nightmare !

solittletime Fri 30-Sep-11 06:50:32

It depends on what kind of support network you have when you are at home. Do you have relatives or friends you can go to and just 'hang out' with the children? Someone who will take at least one while you go for a walk with the other, or give you a little break occasionally? Because I think if you are going from one 'toddler' activity to the other with both of them, then that could drive you spare. I agree with the majority, from experience of having two little ones, that part time is the best. You enjoy being with them on the days you are home but by the time it's a work day you're grateful for the mental break! I've only been up 20 minutes and they are already both driving me crackers!!

nicoben971 Mon 29-Apr-13 22:44:26

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Mon 29-Apr-13 22:51:45

You normally have to pay for advertising; have reported those two posts.
Thanks but no thanks.
They always turn up on these threads sooner or later, don't they? hmm

Metalgoddess Tue 30-Apr-13 10:19:15

I would definitely be a SAHM in this situation, those early years with the children are precious and I would hate to miss ou on those with no financial benefit to compensate. However if you think it will drive you crazy then try to find a part time job which you might enjoy, easier said thn done though I know!

Mnetter111 Wed 01-May-13 12:49:30

I find it hard to know before I try something. I'd look into the back out plan, how hard is it going to be to go back to your job if you feel the sahm isn't for you after a year/two/three? If its going to be pretty hard to reverse, I'd talk to your work about how much flexibility you could have, eg non standard work hours, wfh one or two evenings etc. but I'm risk averse.

tribpot Wed 01-May-13 13:02:46

You need to balance up all the factors in the equation, and the fact that you want to stay at home is a major factor in your decision.

However, it's risk and to look at the bigger picture financially you might want to consider the following:
- the impact on your earning power when/if you return to work (over ten years you might be better off staying in work and paying for childcare in the early years than leaving the job market entirely).
- the stability of the family finances - assuming you have a partner, how secure is his job? What would you do if he was laid off or became too ill to work? Or indeed decided to up and leave? I'm not suggesting that any of these things will happen but they do, and your decision-making should probably factor that in.

Beyond that, what is your partner's view? Being the sole earner is an additional pressure, is he happy with that?

If staying at home with the babies is the right decision for your family, then that's obviously the one you should take. But the 'pay only covers childcare' argument needs thinking through.

CPtart Wed 01-May-13 13:22:21

Yes I did, my salary only just covered childcare. No regrets at all. I worked part time so feel I had the best of both worlds whilst maintaining my pension, professional competences and sanity!

BackforGood Fri 03-May-13 19:01:20

You have to look at the whole picture, and with the finances, look at the next 10 years, not the next 2. That depends a lot of if you are in a "career" or a "job" I think. If you are doing something that doesn't need qualifications or experience or skill, then it's much easier to go back to that type of work, but if you are in something that relies on a lot of 'contacts' or on you 'being known in your field' or on you keeping up a professional qualification and/or keeping abreast of changes in thinking, in policies, in legislation even, then it's much better to 'keep your hand in' even if it means money is tight for a couple of years. The fact you say you don't like your job, and that you want to be at home with them, speaks volumes to me.

BackforGood Fri 03-May-13 19:01:48

Agree with lots that Part Time is just the best option if it's available to you.

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