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want a new career but how can I balance this with looking after DS?

(2 Posts)
JackinLeeds Mon 19-Sep-11 20:13:20

Would really appreciate advice here.

I am working part time in a job I dont' want to be in 3 days a week. I am trying to look for another job and I;ve got good qualifications but not much experience outside current role. So to sort this out on the days I am not at work I am doing some things in the NHS, schools, and childrens centres on a voluntary basis. I dont' just want a job I want a career and DH probably wouldn't be too happy with a massive pay cut.

The thing is doing all the above and applying for the odd job is pushing me over the limit and although I don;t really want to I have ended up putting DS with a childminder for an extra 4 hours on top of the 3 days at nursery he already does. I don't have much support and DH is at risk of redundancy so feeling really under pressure from all angles. There is no option of quitting my job given this but also I think my confidence goes down when I am at home all the time.

Where do I find the balance between wanting to do all the extra stuff because I want a career (which I am feeling is probably fairly selfish) vs looking after my DS who is very precious and, with very little chance of having any other children, particularly special to me.

One good thing is when I volunteer with NHS I do get to take DS with me smile

I am also trying to cram in counselling sessions to sort my head out as well which are helping but is another thing to fit in the week.

Thanks for reading.

BoysInTheHood Mon 19-Sep-11 23:08:14


First of all, don't feel selfish for wanting a career, there's nothing wrong with having ambitions and needs of your own.

Secondly, you're doing the right thing volunteering to gain the necessary experience to get the job you want. This won't be forever, one day a job will come along and you won't be stuck in a job you don't want (which is probably contributing to you feeling rubbish at the moment) and volunteering.

Thirdly, how much help do you have at home? Do you do all/the vast majority of the housework and childcare? Could your DH help out more to take some of the pressure off you?

The situation with your DH's job is unfortunate and very stressful. Hopefully it will work out soon and that will take a lot of financial pressure off you both.

FWIW, I've been in your situation. When I wanted a new career I went to uni full time and had to raise two children and work in order to live. It was stressful, exhausting and many times I felt like giving up, but it was worth it. I am very proud of the qualifications I got and that I did get a fantastic job from them.

Keep up with the counselling sessions too, it's good to be able to talk to someone subjective.

Good luck, OP.

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