Should I pretend I haven't got kids?

[Snoopy99]

I'm just starting to have interviews for jobs and I can't help noticing that recruitment agencies seem to be treating me differently now that I have two kids. I am going for freelance contract roles in my industry (digital) and the interviewers tend to be about 25 and both male and female have the same attitude.

It seems that they think that they can get away with paying me less, taking me less seriously and generally being patronising even though I am senior in my career. I presume the only mothers that they know are their own. My neighbour said the same thing happened to her 10 years ago and she simply stopped mentioning the fact that she had kids and would dodge such questions. I thought she was being a bit melodramatic but I am starting to think she's right.

Should I put my children in the closet and only out them when I'm ready?

[TobyLeWolef]

Why are you talking about your children in interviews?

[cjbartlett]

Do they ask if you've got kids? No one has ever asked me that in an interview

[Bramshott]

I would just simply not mention them, because they're not relevant. What sort of questions might you have to "dodge"?

[TobyLeWolef]

I would take someone less seriously professionally if the only thing they had to talk about in interviews was their children.

[An0therName]

I don't mention I have kids in interviews unless it can't be avoided. then the line is that childcare is all sorted

[TobyLeWolef]

It can always be avoided. If you're not asking for special concessions as far as hours/flexibility are concerned, then they aren't allowed to ask you if you have children.

[Snoopy99]

It's because I've been on maternity leave for a year, then took redundancy, literally last week. So when they ask when I've launched stuff, it's at least a year ago. I've not mentioned any kind of special concessions or anything. It just seems that as soon as I mention that I have children, they seem to see me as their mother! i.e. not ambitious, not available, always thinking about my kids, etc.

[WideWebWitch]

I wouldn't mention my children in interviews unless it was relevant (eg there's a SAHM gap on my cv).

But I see why you do. IME 25yo recruitment consultants can be a right PITA. Can you do more by email / direct interviews with companies (via agents) rather than meeting agents first?

[Snoopy99]

I don't think it would help matters if I said 'you can't legally ask that' in an interview!!

[WideWebWitch]

So I think you could come up with your line re the past year eg "I was on maternity leave but my last role was Xyz" to bring it back very quickly to professional / competency stuff.

[WideWebWitch]

No, it wouldn't! I was once asked, at 7.30am, in The City "Do you have childcare sorted?" - er, do you think I could BE here if I didn't? (wasn't what I said, I smiled and said yes but wanted to punch him). Bet he didn't ask the man after me the same question.

[WideWebWitch]

But anyway, good luck and no, don't mention them if you can help it.

[Snoopy99]

Thanks Wickedwaterwitch, I def need to get some form of story sorted out so it doesn't knock me sideways if it happens again. And you're right, my husband works in The City and he has never been asked about his childcare arrangements!!

[Moodykat]

A recruitment agent I was registered with once advised me (very nicely and off the record) to take any mention of them off my cv and try and avoid questions about DCs. Trouble is, then it looks like I've been a lazy cow for 3 years!