I am soon to have my first child and will not be able to take as much maternity leave as I would like. My mum has very kindly offered to take six weeks off unpaid from work once I am back to work to be the full time carer of my son for that time. She currently works four days a week so she could still offer lots of help by doing one day a week of looking after him without taking this time off. It is an unbelievably generous offer but I am really not sure whether to accept for the following reasons:
She will suffer (slightly) financially by doing this and I am concerned she feels slightly like she has to.
I am nervous my mother will start to feel (and want to feel like a third parent). I really want all of our family to be involved and be very close but I want my husband and I to be the parents. I know my mum will be doing things the way she sees as best (and will be with him for a substantial part of the day) rather than perhaps doing things the way I have asked her to.
I feel nervous at the idea of feeling like my mum is raising him rather than me - establishing bathtime and bedtime routines etc.
I am nervous that, although my mum is being so generous and doing this to be kind, there also might be a slight element of her wanting to make sure she is seriously involved. She has jokingly said on occassions before 'I'm the main grandma' and I know it sounds a bit silly but I'm worried my husbands mother will feel elbowed out. I know this would make my husband unbelievably sad.
What do you all think of the idea? Has anyone had similar experiences.
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My mum has offered to take a considerable amount of time off work to look after my son. Should I say yes?
8 replies
felixfelicis1 · 27/07/2011 13:43
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