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separation anxiety and going back to work

(4 Posts)
balroymum Sun 05-Jun-11 20:37:29

Does anyone have any tips on 'settling in'? My DD is 6 months old and will be 9 months old when I go back to work full time in September. As a teacher, I am lucky enough to work short days (ha! ha! - I'm forgetting the marking and prep part after hours I know!) and will have lots of lovely time in the holidays so my post isn't about the whole back to work full time dilemma. As long as I know she is happy, I know that I will be - although obviously I will miss her.

She will be at nursery for three days in a row and with my parents on a Monday and DH's parents on a Friday.

Before Sept, I do have four days back at work in the last week of the summer term. Childcare here will be split between DH and grandparents.

There will be settling in days at nursery in August and we have started some settling in days with GPs today. This did not go well. DD was hysterical after 10 minutes when she realised that we weren't there. I feel like a terrible mother already - it's as if I have betrayed her when she is such a good little girl. I am panicking now.

Has anyone had a similar experience? Is this separation anxiety setting ? How long does it last? Will it get better or worse? What can we do to help DD feel safe and happy? Thanks.

balroymum Sun 05-Jun-11 20:40:26

Sorry - bad typing through tears. The second question was meant to be 'Is this separation anxiety setting in?'

lynehamrose Sun 05-Jun-11 20:46:10

I returned when my dcs were 6 months and 9 months. I won't lie- 9 months is tricky as its a difficult stage developmentally. My 6 month old settled quicker but having said that, the 9 month old was fine after a few sessions with the childminder. You may find that as you are using 3 separate forms of childcare, it take a little longer for your dc to get into routine. The 3 consecutive days at nursery is very wise though. I returned 3 days a week and always tried to keep my days as consecutive, because it seemed better for the children. A week is a long time for a young child, so you may find the grandparent care is a bit like starting afresh each time for a while- but your dd will get there- don't panic

MatchsticksForMyEyes Sun 05-Jun-11 20:49:45

My DD was 6 months when I returned and was dreadful when left for quite a while. My DS was 7 months and much better. The nursery DS went to was very good and the staff suggested I leave an item of clothing that smelled of me to help him settle, especially at feeds as I was still breastfeeding. I would also make sure you make your exit quickly as lingering about for one more cuddle when they are upset makes things worse for both of you, in my opinion.

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