Full time job - not sure I can cope

[suebfg]

Hello, wasn't too sure where to post this. I currently work part-time, have a DS of 3 rising 4 (at nursery part-time) and my hubbie works full-time and travels overseas quite regularly (short stints of 2 - 3 days every couple of weeks or so).

I feel like I'm struggling to keep on top of everything. Although part-time, i feel like I'm doing a full-time job on part-time hours so often have to work in the evenings to catch up. Plus keeping on top of the house and all that stuff. My DS is an only child too and demands near on full attention.

DS is due to start school in September. Obviously because he's at school, there'll be extra chores such as getting the uniform ready, plus the school is a 20 minute drive away so extra time there.

My part-time job comes to an end shortly thereafter. I'm likely to have an option between working full time or not at all as there aren't many part-time posts around for what I do.

How do full-time working mums cope with all the other stuff that needs doing? Are you doing housework till silly hours in the evening or spending your weekends catching up?

[blabalalalablabla]

it is bloody hard work - esp if your dh works away.
can you afford a cleaner? sending out ironing etc?

if you're going to be ft you'll also need to get some kind of wraparound care - ie before and after school - depending on what time you need to leave in the mornings some schools have breakfast clubs etc.

but tbh - there needs to be good organisation and your dh needs to pull his weight around the house when he's home and at weekends - how you do this can vary - split tasks or both do things together - ie one of you cook whilst the other does bedtime etc.

i'd also recommend meal-planning and batchcooking and if your ds's school has school dinners then i'd go for that option too as then you only need to do a light tea in the evening. other time-saving options include on line grocery shopping etc, putting a load of washing on before you go to bed so you can hang it out in the morning etc. we have a rota too although it is rarely stuck to - we have pretty low standards though in terms of housework - the house is clean but probably only hoovered and dusted once a week. kitchen and batherooms are cleaned every day. we probably spend less that 30 mins a day doing housework/chores.

tbh though i have found the guilt about working ft greater since the dc's have been at school as it is even more noticeable that you are not around to collect them from school or go to school assemblies, plays, outings etc - this was a bit of shock to me and if we could afford it i'd like to be working pt til the youngest is about 8 as it is a lot to juggle.

hope that helps?

[suebfg]

Thanks. We can afford a cleaner and DS will be going to breakfast/after school clubs/holiday clubs when necessary.

He has to start with packed lunches but a few months in, school meals are compulsory.

I think I need a cleaner now tbh.

[Franup]

Sorry to be a bit more negative about School. But they also have reading books, then spellings, then homework. They may want to have friends round for tea or got to after school activities. They are not always in a fit state to do a reading book once they come in from afterschool club at 6.00pm and still need tea. And if breakfast club is involved too you will have limited time in the mornings.

I do 3 days a week. Mine have after school club 2 nights and dp finishes early one night and I am off the other 2 days. I also drop them off in the AM. TBH I would not like them doing more than that or else everything would slide and my whole life would be work and in some respects their whole life would be school.

I am lucky we can work it like this, I know and some people work fulltime and manage. But going to school often brings more to the table than them being little and at nursery.

[Megmeg]

I took time off after having my two little ones, and I have been back to work for 5 months now. I found such a good job, I was really lucky. Mine go to a really good nursery that starts before i start work, and my mother picks them up for me, and she has them for an hour until i finish work. Have you parents that could help? Sending out ironing is a great idea, it isnt too expensive either and saves time. I have set cleaning days, and do batch cooking if I have a particularly busy week. Try and negotiate working times with an employer, they can be quite understanding if you have children.

[cal79]

I currently work f/t and to be honest it's bl**dy hard work.... constantly! I guess for those of us who are lucky to love their job its worthwhile but if (like me unfortunately) you're not that fussed I'd seriously think twice. The downsides from my point of view are the obvious one of not having much time with dc, them missing out on activities such as playdates, after school clubs, quiet time with parents etc, having to do chores such as ironing at 10:30 at night and having very little time to do basic stuff like go to the gym, cooking properly. I currently find from when I wake (rougly 6:30am) to around 8pm I do nothing but rush and worry about what needs doing and where I'm supposed to be. I then spend the following 2 hours slightly more relaxed but still mainly doing the household stuff. All that and really I have quite good support from my parents.

Sorry I've been a complete negative wolly and I'm sure there will be some on here who do f/t work with little problems but if I was doing this all over again I'd only work p/t.

[cal79]

Sorry, it's the negative one again! Forgot to add to my list the guilt you feel at work when you're late AGAIN or need time off for dentist trips, ill children, school plays, when you need to leave early etc etc.

[suebfg]

We have no help available from parents unfortunately. My husband works from home when he is not travelling so has some flexibility there (sorry should have put that in my original post). When he's at home DS can go to school without using breakfast club and occasionally may be able to skip the after school club too.

It's when he's away that all hell will break loose and I will turn into a quivering nervous wreck or mad woman!!!

[Lizcat]

Personally I find the school uniform easier than own clothes as there is no choosing. I have enough to last all week was on a Saturday and iron on Sunday whilst watching countryfile.

[BsshBossh]

I'm FT whilst DD is still pre-primary school age as she simply goes to a CM all day and she's very happy there as they organise lots of activities for her and she has her little circle of friends to play with. I do housework on weekends but limit it to one hour shared with DH 50/50 so in total 2 hours. If I was continuing FT then I'd get a cleaner. DH does all the ironing on Sunday evening when DD is having her dinner. DD's day bag is packed the night before. She still goes to bed "early" so my evenings are free.

But I am changing my working hours this September when she goes to pre-school and will be working a shorter day largely because I'd like to take her to after-school activities (eventually), have her friends over to play and help er with her homework (eventually) but still give her time to chill out.

I could do this FT, of course, as an after-school club or CM would help with her homework and she'd have friends at the CM's or club so this is just my preference to reduce my hours or, in reality compress my hours as I'd still do some work after her bedtime.