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My daughter just wants to interact with adults. should i be worried??

(11 Posts)
darlingmum Thu 09-Jul-09 12:47:35

My 4 year old loves interacting with adults as opposed to children her own age. The teachers at school say she is extremly bright for her age but tends to manipulate other kids her age to get her way and fear that if she carries on she would have no friends to play with.

She would always try to hang out with the teachers at school and other mums at birthday parties instead of playing with other children her own age and sometimes you could easily forget she is just a 4 year old

As a parent i worry that this may affect her socially in future. Has anyone else had this experience?? should i be worried??

posiedullardparker Thu 09-Jul-09 12:52:22

To be very harsh, and honest, I would find a child like that very annoying. I know a seven year old that's the same. I am sure your dd is lovely but other adults, especially those with other four year olds, would rather have a coffee with other adults. I would imagine she will be affected socially if she's not joining in with other children at parties.

Perhaps you can help her find a similar friends. My ds, who is very loud and confident, found another child just like him at school. Both are very bright and get on like a house on fire.

darlingmum Thu 09-Jul-09 12:57:55

Thats exactly what worries me...however she does join in with other kids, but always on her own terms and when she feels like it. Without sounding like a pushy parent i sometimes wonder if she will benefit from being around lots of other loud, confident bright kids..and hopefully she would soon realise she is just another 4 year old.

posiedullardparker Thu 09-Jul-09 13:00:24

She'll realise, there will be many people to remind her sad. She sounds as if she knows her own mind, which is no bad thing.

Earlybird Thu 09-Jul-09 13:01:17

Is she an only child?

Think it might help her peer social skills if you arrange/host/supervise playdates regularly.

darlingmum Thu 09-Jul-09 13:11:35

she is not the only child earlybird she has an older brother...but the playdates is definitely something i want to do more off. I just feel bad for the other kids when i arrange play dates or she goes over for play dates..all she wants to do is call the shots.

she would happily take turns, but then try and justify (sometimes successfuly too) why she should have 2 go's. But i have been advised by the school to keep doing this and reminding her whenever possible that she is only a kid. I am quite tempted to try and get her into an academically selective school...i wonder if that would sober her up:-(

posiedullardparker Thu 09-Jul-09 13:15:19

She just sounds a little spoilt... and normalgrin. Sharing and being thoughtful and fair are things that we all have to remind our dcs. Perhaps before someone comes to play give her a talk about how to play nicely and then if she doesn't explain the rules in front of both children, so the other child doesn't feel coming to play at your house means being bossed around!!

nigglewiggle Thu 09-Jul-09 13:15:33

Why is this in "Gifted and Talented"? It sounds more like a behavioural issue to me.

darlingmum Thu 09-Jul-09 13:18:38

No idea nigglewiggle...never used this service before sorry if i have offended anyone

Earlybird Thu 09-Jul-09 13:23:32

I imagine she wants to interact with adults mostly because they will play 'fair' or indulge her. Perhaps she is unsure how to navigate socially with peers so tries to dominate.

Think you have to arrange lots and lots of playdates with different children. Talk to her before/after about how to behave/treat others and what it means to play nicely. If playdate behaviour gets too extreme, intervene and set her straight.

nigglewiggle Thu 09-Jul-09 13:26:38

No offence caused at all darlingmum. I just wondered if you had made your mind up about the reason behind her behaviour when it sounds like a normal sort of behavioural issue to me.

Welcome BTW smile.

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