Open Season at G&T...(452 Posts)
I think people see it as bragging, tbh. Particularly when there aren't threads called Beautiful and Handsome for example where you could discuss the problems around having a fabulous looking child.
I'd need a thread entitled stubborn and eccentric to discuss my ds.
I'm sorry you've been hurt.
But as an occasional poster in G&T & mother of relevant kind of child, I think it works best used as a resource for practical issues only, not emotional support. On practical stuff, I've only had helpful & thoughtful exchanges on here - haven't experienced nastiness.
It's a pity, I know, because people do need emotional support for all kinds of reasons - but on this board it can so easily come across as needing sympathy for something that others actually see as an advantage & so why should they sympathise ... and, in the end, I don't think it's unreasonable for people to find it hard to sympathise in that situation. Hence my using the board for practicalities only.
The only problem I have with G&T is all the people who come on and say "children with special needs get given lots of extra help why shouldn't little Johnny? It's not fair' Children with special needs usually ONLY get their needs met if their parents take on a big battle to ensure they are met. It doesn't just happen because they ask nicely . Don't moan that little Johnny isn't getting something if you're not prepared to put in the work or the pay the lawyers to ensure he does.
Agree with what Bink said. I think also that many people (including those who have children to whom the label would be applied) find the whole G&T label naff and embarrassing. People are also cynical about it because they have found that although some schools have imaginative provision for children who don't find the normal classroom curriculum particularly relevant, for many schools it is just another box to tick for the purposes of keeping Ofsted happy, and has precisely zero benefit for actual children.
interestingly Bink when i posted asking for practical help I got absolutely slated and told that my DD2 who has an IQ over 140 was " a normal toddler" I had never ever used the g+t section before because of exactly what the OP said and I will never again , people get more support for their style questions then i did for my request about an encyclopedia
I agree gess. And in reality unless you are talking about the utterly astonishingly gifted child, most of the needs of the 10% G and T can be met fairly easily within the classroom of a competent teacher.
Wheras the needs of children on School action plus and Statemented levels of SEN cannot be met within the ordinary classroom (under the definitions given for SAP and S)
Of the 10% G and T children I teach 9.9% are just plain old clever. Which if fun for us both, but they don't need anything I can't give them.
Talentedness that actually gives a child true SEN is, in my experience really rather rare.
So for example I teach two delightfull young women who are on for 4A grades at A level. they make progress, have fun, are streched in the lessons and behave beautifully. they are clever, motivated and mature. And have no SEN just because they are smart
er - nor do many parents of children with SN. That's the whole point.
A G&T child has exactly the same legal rights as a child with SN. IN the UK that is access to a suitable educatiton (not the best, a suitable one). If your child isn't getting a suitable education then do something about it, but don't moan because a child with SN is getting a suitable education because their parent has done a whole load of work to ensure that they are.
It's probably all the people who post 'my two year old knows her colours so I am sure she will be bored at school with humdrum kids so what can I do to stretch her extraordinary mind' and then get incredibly offended and angry when people post 'She sounds completely normal to me'.
kerrymum, neither do the parents of child with SEN.
And to be fair, a child with SEN who needs help to learn how to talk, or be toileted, or how to concentrate for 5 minutes, or how to write sentences in English at the age of 11 as a native english speaker, probably need the help more than my 9.9% clever kids.
Sorry - I was presuming you'd been personally hurt. I see you were speaking generally - apologies for the presumption.
Well, as to people starting jokey threads about their six week olds speaking French, goodness that doesn't bother me in the least. It maybe would if I saw any correlation between that & people being in any way horrid to my child, but I don't.
Sorry MB, you are wrong. Cleverness is a hideous blight and a disability, don't you know?
Exactly 9.9% martianmishop? Do you have a spreadsheet set up specifically for this calculation?
I think it's the whole concept of G&T which I HATE. It's simply wrong that 10% of pupils in any school are G&T.
As a musician, parents often think their pupils are gifted/talented. But in 14 years of teaching, I've maybe come across 1 or 2 pupils who are trule gifted. I'd much rather not use that label, and rather say that they are 'doing well', or 'making good progress'.
Both ds1 and dd are very bright, achieving things early. I'd hesitated to label them in any way, because children take different amounts of time to achieve things, and then they have to 'live up' to the label. A friend of mine's daughter was told by her art teacher to 'keep practising her art' because she was 'considering' putting her in G&T. That's just not what it's about imo. As a society we are so obssessed with achievement, and quantifying achievement, and this labelling is perpetuating that.
Take this week. Ds1 and dd have both done very well this week. Dd got her Duckling 4 badge, ds1 got his BAGA 5 badge at gymnastics. But the thing I'm proudest of all is that ds1 who is 6 put his head under the water at swimming, and swam half a width. Why? Because he has found it SO hard to get to this point, has overcome a water phobia, worked SO hard. Swimming half a width (i.e. about 3m) is not an 'achievement' for a 6 year old, if compared to other children. But for my ds1 it is a fantastic achievement, and going under the water is unbelievable. I would never have guessed he would have done this.
Obviously I'm very proud of the other things too. But I would be a bit worried if my children were given the burden of having to live up to a G&T label. It's like that 2 year old in the Daily Mail who got admitted to Mensa. When you look at what she could do, it wasn't that surprising for her age. But now the child has to live up to the 'you are a bright child' label.
Sorry for long post!
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