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Clubs/groups

(10 Posts)
Georgianfairy Sun 09-Dec-18 10:33:05

My DS is struggling a bit with feeling lonely at school and I think he would benefit from joining some groups where he might meet more like-minded people. He does have friends but as they're getting older the differences seem to be creating a bit of a barrier and the friends he has are preferring to spend more time with other kids who aren't so bossy/rigid in their thinking.

For context: he's 6, into maths, space, puzzles, riddles. No interest in team sports but he is active and enjoys p.e./swimming/gymnastics. In general he connects more with adults/older children.

Can anyone suggest any clubs, groups or activities which might be worth a try?

Goingonandonandon Sun 09-Dec-18 20:21:43

Cubs would be good I think, chess club maybe if he plays, or maybe when he's a bit older. Drama? something like circus skills if he likes gymnastics?

I'd also say music but that's not good to meet other kids when they start, but fantastic when they are older and can join orchestra/bands.

Lara53 Tue 11-Dec-18 21:56:25

Do you have a Lego club near by

brilliotic Wed 12-Dec-18 12:01:37

I agree with chess (but then I would, being me ;) Also coding perhaps?

6 is a good age for starting chess these days. In most junior chess clubs you will find a few 6yos (sometimes even younger children), with the majority being between 8 and 10, and many of these having astonishing skills. At secondary school age most stop playing, except for those who have achieved considerable mastery of the game. It used to be the opposite, that children started at secondary age, but now if you start at age 10 or so you will just be crushed by the reams of kids who have 3+ years of competitive experience.

Start with the school chess club if there is one, or search for local junior chess clubs. Check out local libraries too, they sometimes run children's chess clubs. Or PM me if you'd like pointers of how to teach him yourself.

However I would say that other options can be just as good. So I would only try a chess club if there is a decent looking one within reasonable distance, that suits your timing etc. If you have a coding or lego club or great music school at school/on your doorstep, then I would prefer those over a distant or not very good (e.g. no proper youth section) chess club.

Agent13 Wed 12-Dec-18 12:38:01

Oh he sounds a lot like my DS 😊
He’s in Year 1 and I think is starting to feel he doesn’t fit in with the sporty boys.
He currently goes to a drama group which he LOVES. No real performing in front of people yet, he just enjoys the activities and is so engaged.
Also going to try and get him into Beavers. I think that would hopefully have a nice variety of activities and other children to make friends with.

irvineoneohone Wed 12-Dec-18 18:47:19

My ds was similar when he as at your ds's age. Find it difficult to get on with children same age. He found it easier to socialise with older children. But it was a lot to do with his immaturity rather than anything else. It may get easier as he start to realise the friendship works 2 ways.
Finding outside school clubs he enjoys is good, but I think it's worthwhile him joining clubs that are available at school.
My ds learned quite a lot joining games club at school, learning to lose gracefully, taking turns, follows the rules, etc. Also loved things like dodge ball club to learn team play.
So yes, I agree with chess club, but I don't think it doesn't have to be something particularly interesting for maths/science oriented clubs that is good for him. Learn to socialise well with peers is valuable at early years in primary, imo.

Lara53 Thu 13-Dec-18 11:43:37

Coding/Minecraft type club?

Lara53 Thu 13-Dec-18 11:44:58

Do they run a Social Skills group - often used to scoop up those that struggle in the playground. Chatting, playing board games, turn taking, conversation skills practise etc

Georgianfairy Sat 15-Dec-18 16:46:55

Thank you everyone, sorry for the delay in responding, had a hectic week and only just catching up now! School doesn't have a chess club but they will be running a board games club next term so will be signing him up for that. There is also a local drama club he could go to at the weekend so I will take him for the taster session after Christmas and see if he likes it.

He's told me today that his 'girlfriend' no longer wants to be his girlfriend and his other friend doesn't want to be friends any more either and he's very sad. He's very like Sheldon, has previously been assessed for ASD, but discharged with no diagnosis. I can understand that other kids would want easier friendships tbh. I think we need to do some social skills work at home but not sure where/how to start. I will ask if school run anything.

It just breaks my heart that he's lonely at 6 years old and I don't know how to help him.
He's got such an amazing heart as well as the amazing brain and I know that one day he will find his tribe but I can't bear the thought of him feeling sad and lonely until that point!

irvineoneohone Sat 15-Dec-18 22:09:00

Joining the school clubs are good idea for making friends with some children he never interacted before.
My ds found his best friend by total coincidence, they met at the park one day and played for first time and inseparable since. Funny thing is, they were in the same class before, but never played together before that.

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