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Anxiety or something more

(13 Posts)
whosafraidofabigduckfart Wed 03-Oct-18 19:17:25

My dd 8 is bright (she’s in a gifted program outside school) she’s assessed around top 5%. I know some on here are much brighter so that’s not the point of my post though.

Dd has been suffering with stomach pains, bad enough to have missed school on many occasions and she’s been hospitalized twice. Consultant has never found any underlying condition and the latest (specialist paed gastroenterologist has mentioned rap (recurrent abdominal pain) and that anxiety can be a trigger.

I dropped her in late today. On the way in she mentioned again that she’s so bored (she’s cried this year about having to do homework again).

The teacher says she spends her time fiddling with things (putty/sequin notebook) and doesn’t engage with the teacher.

I’m bringing her to a play therapist in two weeks to look at potential anxiety. I’m also thinking should I think about ADD (should I see a OT or is she just bored to tears)

In previous years teachers have noted disorganization but as she gets older I’m guessing it’s more apparent.

It’s such a key age for confidence, I hate shouting at her if she can’t help it (I have to tell her so many times to do things) that I must admit I resort to shouting blush

FoxyDog1234 Thu 08-Nov-18 21:44:59

Possibly the work is too easy for her ? Anxiety can be a cause to fidget as it calms some people down . What other symptoms does she have that gives you the impression she might have ADD x

MyOtherProfile Sun 11-Nov-18 07:02:50

This sounds like abdominal migraines. Both my children had them. Worth a Google. They were stress related in both of my children.

Goingonandonandon Mon 12-Nov-18 07:43:16

I am always worried when someone mentions that if a child has anxiety, to give them more work and harder work would help solve the problem.

How about giving her work that she enjoys doing? I know that DS started to be a lot happier when challenged on his own term - he is into computer programming, so we got him coding lessons at weekends (instead of football) and he has a 'tutor' who works on STEM skills with him, they build stuff, programme robots, etc. It's not homework as in really boring worksheets and learning to spell words correctly. Believe me, most children, gifted or not, think that homework is extremely boring and I can't think of a single child I know that hasn't cried over boring homework.

So my recommendation is to find a project/class/group that she enjoys and makes her brain tick outside of school, get a diagnosis for her if you see fit (but this might take time), speak to the schools honestly about your concerns and note down, and explore other avenues such as change in diet (but I think you have probably already done that).

How are her social skills? Does she have friends at school?

junebirthdaygirl Mon 12-Nov-18 08:10:26

My ds had those pains and doctors always said schoolitis etc. Then a locum doctor saw him and his tonsils were rotten. The stomach pain was the poison dropping down. He never once had a sore throat and his own GP had never checked his tonsils. He had them out and never looked back.
But he also had the bored in school/ dreaming/ forgetting stuff. I agree with poster above she needs more stimulating things to do. DS took up competitive chess and played on a team and he loved that. It was a challenge he needed.
If your dd is forgetting stuff in the morning does she have a list in the kitchen to check. Same on the inside of her folder for school end. She needs to be taught skills. Shouting at her is like shouting at a lame child to run faster. Its her little difficulty. Remember because she is orally bright she may come actross as older and cause people ..you..to expect more. Treat her as a younger child in that area as all her skills don't grow at the same pace.

whosafraidofabigduckfart Thu 15-Nov-18 22:07:55

Thanks for the feedback. She’s seeing a play therapist and educational psychologist next week

She does lots of things outside school, sports (swimming, basketball and rugby), piano, coding and cubs.

She has to be told everyday to put on shoes, brush teeth, every little thing (hence the fraught shouting sometimes. I bought a whiteboard for visual cues but she’s covered it in artwork😂😂😂

She has school friends but has different to some of them. She had other friends too outside school too who share her interests (animals and Minecraft)

I’m planning on getting a chess computer for myself at Christmas (which she can use to learn) so she can join a chess club).

Thanks everyone for the feedback.

whosafraidofabigduckfart Thu 15-Nov-18 22:12:00

Going she’s in a gifted / talented program so does classes in things like animal behaviour and zoology. She’s doing coder dojo (learning coding).

I’ve a parent teacher meeting at the end of the month so will have a chat to her teacher.

I might also get a OT assessment (her brother has sensory issues) but wanted to get the other assessments first.

MyOtherProfile Fri 16-Nov-18 07:51:17

She does lots of things outside school, sports (swimming, basketball and rugby), piano, coding and cubs.

That is ever such a lot. My dc would be stressed if they were doing all that.

Make a laminated list of things she needs to do that she can tick off every morning.

Hope she is feeling better.

brilliotic Mon 19-Nov-18 13:48:17

Just on the learning chess (can't help with the rest):
I have some experience with this. Chess has moved on a lot especially in the last 10 years or so. Nobody gets 'chess computers' anymore, and most definitely not to learn!

If you want to play chess yourself but have no opponent, play online or against apps. (E.g. chess.com offers both. Basic version is free.)

If you want an academically able 8yo to learn enough to join a chess club and have fun there, you could try
- Magnus Kingdom of Chess (by the same people who made Dragonbox) -> very good for the basics (the rules). Very good for very young children but older children enjoy it too.
- chesskid.com (basic version is free) ->The basics (how the pieces move, checkmate etc) are taught fairly quickly but perhaps with not enough time/opportunity to practice. But once the rules are mastered, it has tons of video lessons and exercises, and includes the opportunity to play against other children, and against the computer. This can take her from someone who knows how the pieces move to someone who can actually play a game of chess that isn't just random (and as far beyond that as she likes/puts the effort in).
- If you want to teach her, I'd suggest investing in the 'steps' method. Get the chess teacher manual for step 1 and the workbook to go with it.
(I have taught many children over many years and am a very capable player myself. But getting that teacher manual about half a year ago has been a gamechanger and I can only wish I had read it sooner so as could have applied those things with my DC1. Not too late for DC2, fortunately!)

Chess is too complex to learn simply by playing against a computer. You need instruction (and practice, of course)

whosafraidofabigduckfart Mon 19-Nov-18 19:44:30

Brilliotic,
Thanks so much for your post.

There’s a chess club (half hour drive away) but I’d like to have her comfortable with the basics.

Off to study the options you mentioned !

whosafraidofabigduckfart Tue 04-Dec-18 23:22:13

Hi everyone,

Feedback from the play therapist is that she’s not anxious due to school, friends etc but she feels it’s more sensory related.

DD is a mouth breather with a tongue thrust so she feels there are some Oral issues. I’ve been to ENT consultants who have been as much use as a chocolate tea pot so on we go.

She thinks an OT assessment would help. She also mentioned that autism is a possibility so we await the Ed psychologist meeting on Friday.

I’ve had appointments trying to sort out the tongue thrust/breathing so will continue my hunt as it’s not been taken seriously for some reason.

user789653241 Fri 07-Dec-18 09:38:50

Totally derailing(sorry OP), but your insight is amazing, Going.

whosafraidofabigduckfart Fri 07-Dec-18 12:32:12

Just back from the Educational psychologist.

She scores very highly in verbal comprehension 98% and perceptual reasoning 95%

But working memory 18% and processing speed 38% percentiles. In the absence of a hearing issue it leads to a diagnosis of adhd

Unfortunately her self concept inventory is low 34 (should be in the mid 50’s). So we’re going to work on that.

The psychologist was great and we must do lots of thinking about how to help her.

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