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'Magical thinking'

(16 Posts)
TheHeartOfTeFiti Wed 13-Sep-17 16:34:51

I work with a child who constantly tells stories that other kids say are lies not make believe but stuff that could be true like staying up all night or having been places he's not. Mum says this isn't him lying it's magical thinking associated with being gifted and I need to help the other children see it as this not lies. The problem according to her is that the other children are too black and white. Is this a thing? Please help I'm at the end of my tether with the constant arguments it's causing.

TheHeartOfTeFiti Wed 13-Sep-17 16:35:50

He's six and he doesn't show signs of academic giftedness.

gunsandbanjos Wed 13-Sep-17 16:36:33

Certainly not a thing I've heard of...

TheHeartOfTeFiti Wed 13-Sep-17 16:44:11

Googling gifted children and magical thinking didn't give anything apart from links to articles about ASD & gifteness and lack of magical thinking

TheHeartOfTeFiti Wed 13-Sep-17 16:44:53

guns I take it you have experience?

AfunaMbatata Wed 13-Sep-17 16:46:22

Sounds he might be a bit attention needing.

BWatchWatcher Wed 13-Sep-17 16:48:36

Could it be... an 'imagination'?

Anatidae Wed 13-Sep-17 16:50:44

Magical thinking means the incorrect assumption that things you do affect the world past your sphere of influence

So for example if you step in the cracks in the pavement something bad will happen.

TheHeartOfTeFiti Wed 13-Sep-17 17:13:55

My initial feeling is it's attention seeking but hard to say that to parents without upsetting them.

Liadain Wed 13-Sep-17 17:17:26

That just sounds like an imagination/attention seeking to me, and mum latching on to anything that makes him seem more gifted and special than the rest. Young kids have wonderful imaginations, but it is not fair to expect the other children to go along with it to humour the mum.

JustRichmal Thu 14-Sep-17 09:11:31

If you work with him, could you not let him know that he is a wonderful boy anyway, and he had no need to make up stories to make himself seem more special. The other children will still like him and like him even more if he is just himself with them.
The "He cannot help being rude; he's gifted", mums are really annoying though.

sirfredfredgeorge Thu 14-Sep-17 13:02:44

Isn't the thing to look at why it causes arguments? And looking as your part of working with him how to deal with it.

Some kids are black and white, some kids are generally very cynical, when I'm with DD's peers I'm often asked "Was DD really ?", "Is DD really allowed to ?", "Does DD really own ?". They didn't believe she had done some of those things, but equally it hadn't caused arguments, they were just naturally suspicious and interested of things outside their own experiences. How are the arguments actually happening?

TheHeartOfTeFiti Thu 14-Sep-17 20:51:15

The arguments hapoen when other kids tell him what he's saying can't be true and he gets angry saying they are true, they get annoyed back. He also likes to get other kids into trouble telling tales or setting them up

corythatwas Thu 14-Sep-17 22:13:02

It is not uncommon for young children to blur the borders between reality and their imagination. While it is natural it is not, as far as I am aware, the sign of giftedness. Most children, whether gifted or not, have enough imagination to make up a story; whether you can keep them apart from real life really depends more on maturity than giftedness/lack of giftedness. If an older child does it, then one would suspect it is more about attention-seeking. Six is probably an in-between age in those terms.

willdoitinaminute Sat 16-Sep-17 20:47:34

My sister used to do this, we called it 'romancing' a northern word for an overactive imagination. She does have two degrees and a PhD and works as a lecturer/research in a university so may be a link to high achieving.

Lima1 Fri 06-Oct-17 13:34:05

Does the child believe the stories are true? The children telling him the stories are lies and not being "black and white" they are being truthful. The issue is definitely with the boy arguing with this peers trying to convince them the stories are true.
If it were me I would say to the parent that while it is fantastic he has such a vivid imagination, the children see it as lies because it isn't true. You can tell the children to respect his stories as being products of the boy's imagination and but you cant tell them to accept the stories as being truthful.
The parents should be explaining to the boy that the other children simply want to know if the stories he is telling really happened. I would imagine the other children would enjoy the stories and appreciate his imagination once the boy accepts that's what it is and I think it is something the boy needs to accept.

I went to school with a girl like this, she would tell the most elaborate tales, the annoying thing was she would never accept them as not having occurred so we would argue with her. If she admitted it we could have enjoyed her for the great story teller she was but we felt she was trying to delude us or make idiots of us for believing the tales. I can imagine its the same with these children.

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