My 5 yo DS is in Y1 and having a very difficult time at school. This is very, very long (sorry) but I want to provide all the information, and I would very much appreciate some advice.
We moved to a different area about two-thirds of the way through DS's reception year. He adored his first school, so much so that he'd argue with me because he didn't want to go home, and got dressed in his uniform on Saturdays and insisted that we go check it was open 'just in case'.
He was fine at the new school, but wasn't as enthusiastic. He also got into a few squabbles with other children. His reception teacher mentioned it when they happened, but wasn't flagged as anything out of the ordinary.
That changed completely in Year 1. He complains every morning that he doesn't want to go, says he hates it and he's bored. He's also been behaving increasingly badly in class - a combination of being disruptive but also hitting other children.
FWIW, he's stubborn and occasionally argumentative at home, but not excessively so, and there's no hitting.
I was called in to have a meeting with his class teacher and the head teacher about his behaviour some months ago.
The head did mention that some of the difficulty is that he's very advanced in some areas, and can seem very adult sometimes in his understanding and language, but is very much still a five year old emotionally.
They focused more on the fact that he doesn't have any siblings and that he needed to socialise more. That may be true, but he's at school with other children til three every day, at the childminder with other children until five, and does sport on the weekend, so I don't think that's it.
The school have said that his maths skills are 'truly exceptional' and when I ran into the TA, she said he's difficult to assess on reading because he's going up levels so fast. He's always been absolutely fascinated by how things work and I'm constantly googling to find the answers to his questions. He's happy as Larry and can focus for quite long periods when he gets to do something new.
His teacher is focusing purely on his behaviour and doesn't seem that interested in how much his attitude to school has changed or engaging him further because he's already exceeding his maths and reading targets.
He's said over and over that he's bored, and I think he simply doesn't have the emotional maturity to sit still all day without something engaging his brain.
I know the behaviour is a huge problem and disruptive for the other children, but their methods aren't working. It's simply getting worse, I strongly feel that his unhappiness and frustration at school is at the root of it.
We've implemented a home/school book in which she adds all the'incidents'. However there are also things like 'hitting the table with his ruler' and 'not putting the lid on the glue stick'. I get that he needs to learn discipline, but he is still just five and there seem to be a lot of petty infractions.
When I've raised his unhappiness, his teacher just repeats that 'He's in Y1 now, not reception so he just needs to get used to being in the big class.'
He's been in tears some evenings and has said multiple times that 'I try to be good but I just don't remember'
Now, I've been told they're going to get him to see the SENCO about his behaviour. I am very frustrated. I'm hoping the SENCO will help, but I'm not sure if she's the right person for this.
If anyone has any advice as to how I can approach the school about this, I'd really appreciate it. I've got a meeting booked with his teacher next week.
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5yo very unhappy at school
15 replies
Notapodling · 16/03/2016 14:12
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