Do you ever feel a bit... cheated?(6 Posts)
I know every child is different and brings their own challenges and rewards and all that. I know its wonderful that a child is bright and enthusiastic enough to self teach things, but I wonder, am I alone in sometimes feeling a little cheated out of 'classic' childhood moments because of it?
DS3 is only little still, so 'should' be of an age that I get to teach him new things and share those moments of new discovery with him but, I can't because the little sod went and taught himself all that stuff when I wasn't looking. Like suddenly reciting numbers to 10 after spotting a 3 on a bus, long before I'd even considered actively trying to teach them. Or having a balance bike and using a green machine at nursery, then combining the two principles to zoom off within seconds of getting his first proper bike. I'd had these mental fantasies of taking him to the park to teach him to ride, of nursing skinned knees and uttering encouraging phrases to spur him on. Instead I found myself that afternoon at the skate park, on the sidelines watching as he raced down ramps.
He's taken to reading along with his bedtime story and telling me off if I skip bits to speed it up to get finished before he dozes off.
Don't get me wrong, it is great that he's not struggling and is happy and confident, but I think I'm having a bit of a PLB moment in feeling that I'll never get to share these teaching moments with a child again, and every achievement being a little bittersweet that its been entirely self taught and I'm a bystander in my child's learning journey.
Is it just me being a vacuous twat or do others feel this way sometimes too?
My DS was good at letters and numbers from early age, but I definitely had some input for his learning, and also things like he watched on TV.
He has shown interest in it, so I helped him along with it. So, I don't feel cheated at all. I'm just glad he doesn't struggle to understand something, and now he can initiate learning himself.
Maybe the difference could be your dc is a genius if he learned everything without any help from outside world, and my DS is just simply little bit advanced.
I think I know what you mean OP. DS2 has pretty much thought himself things like reading and numbers so I haven't had to do much except the occasional correction, DS2 is very confident. But I do have input - I spend a lot of time thinking up words to confound him and consequently answer a lot of questions like "what is shenanigans?", "what does rambunctious mean?"
Cheated - no, I am pleased for the children when they achieve something irrespective of my input.(in fact it's better when I just turn up and find it done).
Overwhelmed - yes, often. I feel like everyone else's DC get a well-signposted path to follow with lots of professional help but I am the only one who is trying to help my two because of the "G&T children will do well whatever" attitude
There will always be "teaching moments" though - regardless of abilities, all children will have areas where they need help and support.
Maybe it is also a question of personality - both my children like learning things on their own, and this is definitely an inherited trait ;) I get a lot of pleasure from discovering that they can do stuff I didn't suspect they were capable of, like DS suddenly taking it upon himself to learn to programme in C++ - something he could only do alone since my programming experience is limited to writing excel macros.
Try something new that you can help with, like violin lessons with a teacher who will teach you how to help her?
I do that and also found it v helpful for my gifted sons.
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