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Behaviour Problems - Please Help

(27 Posts)
chillikate Mon 22-Apr-13 20:22:14


I have posted on G & T several times since DS was in preschool, but now I really need your help. I didn't know whether to post in G & T for Behaviour but my "mums gut feeling" says its related.

DS has been developmentally advanced against his peers practically since he was born. I remember collecting him from nursery to be told by an astonished Nursery Manager that she had just had a full blown conversation with him - the first time she had ever had a full blown conversation with a 15 month old. He's now 6 and in Year 1. After a few scraps with his preschool because they wouldn't teach him to read - his request, I decided to play Reception cool. He was happy in Reception. Happy and popular - what more could a Mum ask for. So I decided to let him be.

For the past 3 months his behaviour has become dire - sometimes violent, sometimes just backchat. He loves to laugh in our faces when he knows that he has got one over on us. I dread bedtimes and can often end up in utter despair.

I mentioned this at his last parents evening. His teacher reports that he is as polite, kind and friendly as ever. He can be easily led by others, but in general she has no concerns about his behaviour. Academically he is in top set for literacy, numeracy and science. She tells me that he has a particular aptitude for numeracy, and is easily picking up the numbers 20-100 (at home he can recognise up to 9,999). She also comments on his real maturity - in terms of language, understanding of the world and sense of humour. He is a perfectionist but his handwriting is messy and slow - much slower than his mind. He reminds me so much of myself.

Still I have not pushed. I don't want to be a pushy mum and I don't want to negatively affect his future education - but I can't help feeling he is bored. Hes no genius, but I believe that he is advanced next to his peers, even in the top sets. Also, unlike lots of stories in here, he does not tend to just pick up these things - he needs to learn them from others, whether that be us or his teachers or others in his life.

We are an active family - he does Beavers and Taekwondo. We camp and we walk. We visit places that we enjoy - the Science museum, Motor museum, planetarium, the zoo. These trips are getting less frequent because they are not getting earned.

His night terrors have restarted.

I have one very unhappy little boy, and I don't know what to do.

And he has 2 very unhappy parents who fight night after night to get him into bed. We are at the end of our tether.

We have tried talking about our feelings, and playing games to talk about our feelings, but it never really offers much insight into why my little boy who was so happy and well behaved 6 months ago is now an unhappy little demon.

Please help.

simpson Tue 30-Apr-13 19:04:00

Fingers x he is challenged more and this helps re his sleeping.

I know when my DD is challenged at school her behaviour at home is much better (although we are having issues with her wanting to do her yr3 brothers homework ATM!!)

creamteas Thu 02-May-13 11:05:15

Your DS sounds just like my DD, fine at school but meltdowns at home. Talked early, very bright and top set for everything in school but terrible handwriting. She also was a terrible sleeper and had night terrors. It took some years, but she was later diagnosed with Asperger syndrome.

I'm not saying that your DS is the same, but do keep an open mind, and don't assume that it is not being stretched that is the problem.

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