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Younger DS is G&T, how to deal with sibling issues

(5 Posts)
Parasaurolophus Thu 22-Sep-11 21:35:00

Older DS is in Year 3 and is a bit distracted. His reading skills are average.

DS2 is in Year 1 and has pretty much learned to read without any help at all. He is G&T, and we've known this since he was very young. The school recognised it and are coping beautifully. He has the emotional life of a 4-year-old and the brain of a much older child.

DS1 and 2 are excellent friends. We have all been very lucky with their friendship. Only.....DS2 is starting to exceed DS1 in most academic areas. Tonight I was reading with older DS and when he stumbled on a word, little brother pitched up and read the word for him. I was on my own tonight, normally we separate them for homework. Older DS burst into tears - he is trying so hard and his little brother just finds it all so easy. We practice times tables with DS1 and DS2 answers faster.

I am sure this isn't the end of the story. Older DS is curious and hard working, whereas younger DS does what comes easy and avoids the rest. Putting on his own socks drives him to misery. Right now, though it is hard for them both. DS1 is struggling with confidence and DS2 doesn't understand why he can't help.

Any advice on how I can help them through this?

henry84 Thu 22-Sep-11 22:18:08

I could have written your post. My oldest is in year 3 and is average I would say. She works hard and has a great attitude. Youngest in year 1 and just picks things up quckly. Earlier this week she spelt 10 out of the 12 months correctly. Older dd said I only know 2.
The only way I deal eith it is to make it clear that elder dd has other strengths.

iggly2 Thu 22-Sep-11 22:21:09

I think "said I only know 2 " may be showing a lack of confidence. It must be very difficult.

blackeyedsusan Thu 22-Sep-11 22:27:06

emphasise the kind, caring things that they do. praise effort. you get a long way by working hard. praise him for having a try, even if he gets it wrong. only compare his work to previous work he has done, not his siblings. praise him for good behaviour. praise for other skills.

Parasaurolophus Fri 23-Sep-11 14:18:07

Thanks for your replies. Things I have done is explain to DS1 that learning to read is like losing teeth, everyone does it at different rates but everyone has a full set of adult teeth in the end. He's been okay with that until recently.

We'll also try and keep them apart at homework time. The trick is going to be keeping DS1 motivated.

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