Are you a member of NAGC??

[chillikate]

And if so, please tell me - is it friendlier than here??

I'm kind of holding out to join, until DS starts school in 2 weeks and we eventually get an "experts" view of his once his teacher gets to know him.

[mrsshears]

Hi chillikate

my dd 5.2 is a member,although i havent actually 'used' them yet, i have had a couple of magazines sent through with some interesting articles in,i also understand that you get 2 phone calls per year with one of their advisors,i'm waiting to see how dd gets on in year 1 before i use this.
I have looked at their forums but not posted,they seem a little quiet,i would imagine it is friendlier as everyone will be in the same boat and you cannot actually use the forums until you join.
I will watch this thread with interest to see others experiences

[iggly2]

Is it really that bad on here?

[iggly2]

Nope not a member.

[chillikate]

I just hate how bitchy it can be.

Anyone who comes on here does so because either theire child is on the G & T register or they are concerned because their child appears to be functioning ahead or their peers / bored. They either need reassurance, advice or just contact with other people in similar situations.

Theres just so much on here about whether posters children are sufficiently G & T, and TBH its a bit degrading.

I'm on here for help with my son. I've posted over the pastr 1 - 2 years. He starts school in 3 weeks so hasn't yet been assessed by the teaching profession. He is different from other children. His questions are more advanced, hes done all that his nursery can do with him and I don't know how to stimulate him / harness his curiosity. I thought it would be "safe" to talk about him in this environment of like minded people but really it isn't.

This has never been directed at me, but what I've read in other posts.

[Wafflenose]

I feel the same, chilli, so I mostly lurk here and read with interest. My daughter has just finished reception and her teachers agree with me that she is able - she is 2 years ahead academically and also good at swimming (4 strokes, and 400m backstroke) and music (between Grade 1 and 2) and I am thinking of joining NAGC. I'm afraid to talk about her in real life, except to my husband and mum, because I've been on the receiving end of some jealous nastiness, but am often wary of posting here. There are some nice, helpful posters though.

[iggly2]

I do not doubt people saying their child is G and T (it is the top 5-10% in a cohort acording to the government, that means a lot of children, even the NAGC is top 5%). Okay, ocassionally when child is very young I think parents need to relax abit though it does not mean they are wrong and I have never said that they are.

Personally I have got very upset/angry at the occasional generalisations over social issues (DAL will be on here to say I make them about HE soon ), especially as I take this very seriously with my DS. I am thinking of joining NAGC but I would not change my views on their forums.

I would try not to worry about your son until there is definitely a problem (there may never be ). Is your child known to the school? My Ds went to an attached nursery so they had good feed foward. I think there is a problem that forums will attract people encountering problems so you do not always get a balanced view of things. Enjoy these last few weeks with him before he goes off (are you working?). Reading I think I said they really try to differentiate for. Maths is harder (I am sure I mentioned before). If he goes in happy and confident he will shine, and teacher will notice.

[iggly2]

Wow at the swimming and music Wafflenose. Hope it gets better in RL.

[chillikate]

But there is a problem. He is at nursery (because I work) and is very bored and has been for months. He is begging to read with them but they won't because they don't want to get it wrong.

2 weeks to go!!!!

I took in a big box of books, encyclopedias, puzzle books & meccano earlier this week just to keep him busy.

I think all we want is for our kids to be happy. My DS will not be happy doing "normal" Reception level activities.

[iggly2]

Horrified at lack of books. Ds could access shelves of them at nursery (and they let him read to the others), they had corners for all sorts of play activities and areas to: thread beads/paint/ play with water/write/draw.... So he was never bored. How can reading be wrong either they or he reads

[iggly2]

Books may not be issued till later on in the first term though so you may have to wait. I can't remeber when Ds got his first school reading book. I think it was after half term.

[Anotherchance]

My advice? Bide your time. Give him a few weeks in Reception before you raise any of your concerns. My DS entered Reception well ahead of peers, but we said nothing, and school very quickly saw for themselves how bright he was - tested phonics and basic maths ability, amongst other things, in first few weeks.

OTOH, we stood behind another parent at the induction evening who was busily ensuring everyone was aware how bright her DD was and how she'd need special attention etc. The looks on the teachers faces was a picture (oh no, here's another one!). Funny, now that both children are in Y6, DS continues to be head and shoulders above peers, whilst other parents DD is distinctly average (and always was!)

[chillikate]

they have books. he finds the story books too babyish and because they don't expect preschoolers to read they don't have early reading books. He wants to lok at books about how things work.

i intend to let them find out for themselves but if they ask specific questions i'll answer them

[lovecheese]

A good teacher won't miss a bright child; They just might not tell you that they have noticed...

[Wafflenose]

Thanks, iggly.

Chilli, I worried about the same things, and probably still do, but it was fine. Just being at school and coping with everything new wears them out for a while, but they do assess them all and give work accordingly. A lot of the day is either free or structured play, social activities, art etc but at dd's school they are grouped for phonics and maths and she did these with Year 1 last year. The only gripe I had is that her school reading books have always been far too easy (e.g. finishing the school year on Stage 5 but reading Fantastic Mr Fox at home) but I have come to the conclusion that at least she is reading them, and learning about punctuation, non fiction texts, spelling etc as she does so. We obviously let her read what she likes at home, and this summer I have made a list of what she's read, to give to her next teacher. Next month she is going into a Year 1/2 class, which her Reception teacher has said will help her "not to find things too mundane" and she has also flagged up dd to her next teacher for her ability (no idea if the school has a G&T register, or what this means for a 5 year old, because I haven't asked!) And all this after a year of me fretting that her teacher might not have noticed. Try not to worry - they will notice!

[lovecheese]

At the risk of repeating myself a child who enters reception seemingly more able than other eg. in reading, maths ability or whatever may have bloomed early but others will catch up. And I don't mean that in a bitchy way, OP, it just can take a couple of years for talent to shine through, and to give you another example the children who you might have previously thought were plodders in reception and year one can come up trumps in yr2 SATs - but the idea has already been set early on that they were nothing special because they were very average earlier on. I wish you well.

[Wafflenose]

I agree - there are children in dd1's class who seemed able at preschool and still do, but others like her friend (a little boy) who is very laid-back and whose mum has described him as a plodder, and is now catching her up with things like reading and maths.

[lovecheese]

Thanks Wafflenose for backing me up - it is true, isn't it? And I don't want to belittle the OP for a second, but... hindsight is a great thing. We all like to think our PFB's are fantastic in every respect, "What do you mean, you've moved her to the second group for literacy!?!" , "Because, mrs G, I feel it would suit her PERSONALITY more" and I really do wish the OP good luck, but just also to keep a grip on reality and sense.

[iggly2]

Ds is PFB by definition! If anything I ignored nearly all of everything said to me and DH about him (unless it was about social skills and happiness)- we had nothing to compare to! I certainly never worried about starting school or reading levels etc. If OP is concerned then the chances are there is a significant difference in certain areas between her child and thier peers.

[chillikate]

lovecheese - whilst agree with the sentiments of your post they are precisely the sort of belittling posts that I was referring to.

I don't care what my son is doing in a year, or two, or three. Provided he is happy and healthy.

Right now he is not happy, but I'm trying to work with the nursery so that he is just for the next few weeks. And yes, I'm wondering what the future holds. But the only reason I come on this forum is for help, advice and support.

Your post was neither helpful, nor supportive.

I heard an interview with a G & T co-ordinator in which he sais "the G & T programme is aboutproviding the right learning for the right child at the right time". Thats all I want, I don't care what its called.

[Tanith]

You'll find the NAGC much more supportive and helpful. There's no test or performance criteria - they take it as a given that a child's own parents know their child best. I can't fault their helpline, either. Local branch was a bit worthy and up it's own rectum, but that's my view. At no point did anyone ever question my belief that DS was gifted and I started taking him when he was 3, when it became blindingly obvious.

He's still brilliant, despite all the numpties claiming he'd "be the same as everyone else" when they'd all caught up with him. I don't know why they do it. No-one says to the parent of a child with learning difficulties "he'll grow out of it, you've obviously held him back or he'd be level with his peers by now. Stop fussing over him."

[Wafflenose]

I had no wish to become embroiled in the kind of debates which I generally avoid at all costs, and which prevent me from posting very often. I was agreeing that some children can bloom later and that their ability might not be apparent when they first start school. Ideally, all children's needs should be met, at whatever level they are working; for some that is at a very high level early on, and for others their special needs (in either direction, but I'm particularly talking about being able) might become more noticeable a few years later. My daughter's needs were obvious from the age of 2, and the gap between her and most of her peers has widened, although some who didn't learn to read and write until they were 5 are learning at a rapid pace and I'm sure some of them will be/ already have been identified as able too. I'm not saying that she's a genius or that she'll still be outperforming her peer by the time she starts secondary school or sits her GCSEs, but that's the OP's point - she is concerned about her son getting the help he needs as and when he needs it. At preschool, I had no concerns, other than the fact that dd could read and I couldn't find material easy enough for her to tackle alone, but as she heads into Year 1 other issues are arising too. Luckily, she isn't the only one (there will be some very able Year 2s in her class) so the issues hopefully won't be ignored. OP, I'm sure Reception will be fine, as I said before - I worried a lot and mostly it was unnecessary - but feel free to chat to the teacher if you still have concerns after he has settled in.

[neverknowinglyunderdressed]

I think it can be negative on here and have joined NAGC - the forums there are quieter but more supportive. We are thinking about whether to attend an event...

[munstersmum]

Hi chillikate

Please think about holding your judgment and see how well he settles before you decide he will not like all reception activities? I have a DS who managed all year to avoid the dressing up and colouring/painting corners according to the teacher. There tends now to be a lot of outdoor experiential learning. We were a bit horrified that every photo of DS at school seemed to be him muddy outside with a TA. Then we cottoned on that actually he was getting a lot of adult conversation about nature.

Some posters on MN do like to say it may all level out but then so did DS's reception teacher to us. Long before I joind MN so was completely flummoxed by that one. It's an opinion. It may well not turn out to be your experience.

As someone wiser than me has said on MN 'school is just one of the educational resources I use for my children'. I've taken that on & place more of an emphasis on the social benefits of school. If you find NAGC proves another useful resource I'd love to know.

[nenevomito]

I am in the NAGC, but haven't used their forums.

Then again I don't use this forum much either for DS as he's dual exceptional (gifted and ASD) so tend to go for support in the SEN section instead. The gifted bit is the least of my worries!!

[thecaptaincrocfamily]

Yes we are (have been but it has lapsed) as I wanted to speak to someone and found it very unfriendly and dismissive on here. Dd1 is now 5 and reading 2+ years ahead, socially +2 yr s and lots of issues at nursery/reception. Fortunately I had my views confirmed by the lovely ed psych.