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Walking the tightrope - DS seems bright, but parents putting pressure on

(7 Posts)
TheSkiingGardener Sun 07-Aug-11 16:05:43

I've just spent the evening with the grandparents and got a diatribe on how DS is so special that I must make sure he gets recognised and taken care of as he is so clever. He's 14 months FGS.

I think he is quite bright, he has about 20 words with more appearing all the time, he can run and climb and has understood instructions for at least a couple of months. He also seems to be starting to count, which was a bit freaky when he suddenly came out with it.

I really suffered as a kid for being bright though. My school saw it as a nuisance, or a sign I was being abused (seriously) so I have some serious hang ups about marching into nursery or school and demanding things. (I don't know what the grandparents think I should be demanding, but they are insistent I should go)

I don't want to let my hang ups about things get in the way so feel I need to walk a tightrope between making sure he gets the support to develop in his own way and not pushing.

Anyone got any perspectives on this?

iggly2 Sun 07-Aug-11 16:24:10

I think you said it yourself! "He's 14 months FGS."
I'm at a loss as to what they think a nursery should be doing! I never needed to march into school or nursery and I'm happy with things if this helps!

TheSkiingGardener Sun 07-Aug-11 16:38:58

I think I just know I'm paranoid about getting it wrong. My childhood was interesting as a result of the schools attitude and in part to my parents way of dealing with me being bright. I really don't want to either put pressure on him or let him down in some way.

I need a bit of perspective from outside so thank you!

AnaisB Sun 07-Aug-11 20:41:49

I agree with iggly. I'd say just provide him with as wide variety of stimulating (non-academic) activities and experiences - as you would any child.

FlyMeToTheMooncup Tue 23-Aug-11 22:22:43

I did LOL when I read he is only 14 months grin

They're just being grandparents, leave 'em to it and rant on here - as you clearly know it is far far too young to really tell anyway. smile

FlyMeToTheMooncup Tue 23-Aug-11 22:32:00

Although I am intrigued to know what you mean about your parents dealing with your intelligence? Do you think they are putting pressure on him like they did with you? Because that wouldn't be so nice...

I feel a bit like that with my parents sometimes TBH, when I let myself think about it. On the surface they are brilliant and loving to me and my DCs but sometimes, now that I've lived in the real world and had a family and have realised being a well-rounded person is the most important success, I think they STILL think of academic success as more important than anything else. They have nothing to show for their cleverness BTW. Sometimes I worry that they won't love my DCs as much if they aren't geniuses. And then I wonder if they would've loved me so much if I wasn't so clever as a child. I have just taken a break from my OU degree and it took me a month to tell them.

Sorry, have waffled on a tad haven't I blush anyway, it may just be proud grandparenting - but if it isn't, you do need to deal with it, set some ground rules (eg We are not prepared to talk about his future education because he is so young) and stick with them, hopefully they'll get the message...

Jesusgirl Wed 24-Aug-11 08:16:51

I don't think it's about love at all. On the contrary, I think they loved u and love ur ds and that's why they want him to be well catered for academically.

14 months is really young tbh to try to get nursery to do anything. My advise would be expose him to lots of things- take him to the zoo and talk to him about the animals, talk to him about cars, planes, whatever. You'll be surprised how much he'll learn. As far as 'formal' education is concerned, I'd say 14 months is way too young.

Btw I believe in well roundedness but I place extremely high priority on academic excellence. I tell my ds I'm happy for him to be anything he wants to be- cook, musician- whatever but not at the expense of academics.

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