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DD hates school and doesn't seem to be progressing in certain areas.

(19 Posts)
MumblingRagDoll Mon 06-Jun-11 01:03:10

She's 6 and in year 2....she did everything early and well...spoke at 10 months and imitated animals too...she could speak short sentences at 13 months and was walking at 11. By 15 months she spoke in long wels tructure sentences.

She's been "speaking" poetry since 3...her own verses and has always been very aticulate with a deep understanding of humour and a love of all words.

She has always been very sensitive to noises and whe she is not in control of a stuation she can have major meltdowns...but she has got friends. She cannot get her words down on paper as her writing is so bad but her motor skills seem fine....she is angry about this and wont try now.

SHe has it seems stopped trying altogether...her writing is BAD and she now wont even try...she wont do her homework and though school are patient I worry as it is private and is only going to get harder next year.

School have said nothing since they suggested that she may benefit from some kind of assesment..this was in reception....because of her emotional outbursts...they calmed down and nothing more was mentioned..she has some OCD type behaviour too....she acts like a baby a lot...gooing and is getting worse not better.

Help? Gifted? Or something else?

MumblingRagDoll Mon 06-Jun-11 01:05:13

Her OCD type stuff includes not having certain areas of her fingers touched and also not being "breathed on"

emy72 Mon 06-Jun-11 07:38:27

a lot of this seems like normal behaviour to me.

My DS1 is very similar to your daughter in many ways early learner, early walker and talker). A few things I would note:
1 - the emotional outbursts could be a result of tiredness and adjustment, most children find reception hard, especially if it is full on.
2 - a lot of children find writing hard and if their hand does not catch up with their brain they get frustrated. My son never wants to write because his writing isn't very good but his reading is fab and his mind is a whirlwind.
3 - Being sensitive to noises is something you might want to explore, but I found both my children had issues with being in a big class (even 15-20 can be a big class if they are not used to it) and react negatively to being touched etc, it's not necessarily a sign of a problem. Is she like that at home and is it a problem?

Hope this helped a bit.


MumblingRagDoll Mon 06-Jun-11 07:53:00

She's not in reception, she's in year 2.

I guess the writing may for the noise and the need to control...yes she's like that in or out f school.

She often reacts negatively to being touched...whats' all that about?

meditrina Mon 06-Jun-11 08:14:05

I'd heard that OCD is very rare in children this age, but that anxiety can manifest itself like this. And you mentioned your own worries about pressure - could these be adding to hers? The gap between her oral language and writing skills probably isn't helping either.

You say the school is being patient. What do they think may be going on now? Are they providing interventions with eg her handwriting?

emy72 Mon 06-Jun-11 09:14:20

I was referring to the emotional outburst she used to have in reception but have now calmed down.

MumblingRagDoll Mon 06-Jun-11 09:48:13

They say its fine and she's young in her year meditrina...they are helping her in vrious ways...she mentions squeezing plasticine...

Oh I see emy72....yes....she does have a shocking temper at home still.

abeltasman Mon 06-Jun-11 13:40:13

Sounds awfully like my son. It hurts to be touched, gets distraught in loud environments, and throws hissy fits. Good enough writing but not fast enough to get ideas down so gets frustrated. He is majorly bored and the noise issue in the class means we are looking elsewhere re schooling (20 is too many and will be rising to 30 next year). Behaviour deteriorated at school and has regressed to wanting to sleep with us again. I do feel for you, it is tricky!

MumblingRagDoll Mon 06-Jun-11 13:59:28

Thing is abeltasman....she's in a small private school which is lovely...12 to her class and good friends....she's fine socally now. But the "odd" stuff is affecting us at home more and more...her teachers in my opinion give her rather too much special treatment...forgiving her when she won't return a greeting for instance....she does that a lot....and amost 7 is a bit too old for utter silence when spoken to by an adult. I will stand with her and gently press her to reply if I am there....but they say "Oh it's fine! It's just her way"

But surely it's not ok? She barely spoke ONCE in a year during reception...only to her peers. She might whisper "yes" or "no" in relation to toilet or food....but that was it.

I know she is better with all that now....but she hates hanges in routine and it's a proper pain.

At home she is constantly making things....literally all the time. She ran out of any clay last week and couldn''t model as she CHEWED up paper and made a perfect 3d mobile had buttons, a screen and a little was weirdly perfect.

MumblingRagDoll Mon 06-Jun-11 14:04:46

Does your DS read ery well abeltasman? DD isn't THAT far ahead....she's at age 9 level according to her teachers...which I know is not unusual or necassarily gifted...I dont want her to be gifted or talented as such but just to know how to help her...and if looking at the ways in which the parents of G&T kids help their DC could help us?

I suppose I want someone to say..."Ah yes...her trouble is due to X and if you do Y then she will be fine!" grin

melpomene Mon 06-Jun-11 14:10:47

Is it possible that she could be on the autistic spectrum? Some of the behaviour you mentioned suggests that may be a possibility.

MumblingRagDoll Mon 06-Jun-11 14:17:05

I did think that melpone...but isn't the social skills a big factor? She is in her teachers words "popular and kind"....I'm not shying away from it....but also would not he school have noticed that? Or anything for that matter...and yet something isn't siting right for me.

DD2 was SO different and easy in a way...she's 3 and there's no fear when we encounted hand dryers or when a strange lady admires her...I know DD2 is fine ad will talk and smile...but DD1 has some strange reactions...

PaintingRainbows Mon 06-Jun-11 20:24:56

OP - a lot of what you are saying resonates with my dd who is also year 2 ... noise, touch, greetings are challenges for her even though she is popular in class. dd is also very academic , adores words and creating poetry. She is OCD re handwashing and fear of germs... She also has asbergers.
Sensory issues eg noise and touch are v common with ASD conditions.
Girls with Asbergers present different to boys too (so says Tony Attwood) - other girls often mother and support them which is why they are generally seen as more 'popular' than asberger boys. boys tend to be more predatory towards boys who seem different (so says Attwood...)
Biggest thing which helped dd was being able to explain why she reacts as she does. We got her assessed through GP referral.
Even if your dd isn't diagnosed, it would be good to know either way.

Ben10isthespawnofthedevil Mon 06-Jun-11 20:33:55

I have to agree that it might be worth getting your GP to refer your DD to a developmental paediatrician as she appears to have some of the issues that children with Aspergers Syndrome might have ie obsessions (modelling), sensory issues (sounds and touch), communication problems, motor skills (handwriting), high IQ, meltdowns etc.

You could have a look at this link to see what you think and if there are any other behaviours that you recognise.

We are a very welcoming lot on the Special Needs: Children topic so post in there if want to chat more.......

MumblingRagDoll Mon 06-Jun-11 20:50:53

Yes painting She has indeed had a history of being "Looked after" by her friends...she getting more indepenant but she will evn hide behind my 3 year old if she fels insecure.

Thanks Benten....for the to look.

PaintingRainbows Mon 06-Jun-11 22:51:50

MRagDoll - We've used various reward systems and techniques to help mould dd's behaviour to more socially acceptable. Some reward systems have been quite complex but because she is high functioning she can grasp them quickly and is well motivated to achieve goals. Getting the ASD diagnosis was also helpful as it opened up doors to other support. We did the 'Earlybird Plus' course which was good from the perspective that you get to meet other parents as well as getting to understand why your child behaves the way they do and learning strategies to support them at home & school. It can be very liberating to have another professional confirm that your child is not deliberately being 'naughty'. We had a book from the library called 'the incredible 1-5 scale' so now we can use numbers when we are out in public to alert her to how she is behaving and generally avoid meltdowns by giving her cues which others barely notice. We use 1-5 scales for voice volume, anxiety and general behaviour. Doesn't always work, if she gets to a 5 before we intervene its too late! Your dd might not be ASD but it might be worth you having a look at the book in view of your dd's meltdowns.

Ben10isthespawnofthedevil Mon 06-Jun-11 23:06:07

Is it [[ this one PaintingRainbows?

Ben10isthespawnofthedevil Mon 06-Jun-11 23:10:13

maybe this link might be less crap!

PaintingRainbows Tue 07-Jun-11 18:17:57

Yes Ben10, that's the one. Fab book imho. I did actually buy it after borrowing it from the library. It's slightly cheaper on ebay with free postage too.

Our dd is sometimes able to ask for help when getting stressed by saying she is at a '3'. I made little cards with 1-5 in the same colours on the PC and laminated them. We used them as visual cues in potentially stressy places / situations as well as scattering them around the house eg by her seat at the dining table so that she developed a good understanding of what number she is feeling at any particular time. Before that, I would have said she was frequently unaware of her emotions and feelings.

Be warned there are a couple of swear words / undesirable behaviours described in the book so if you have a good reader you might want to photocopy the appropriate work pages and keep the book out of sight!

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