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concerns raised at school

(11 Posts)
Bibbit Sun 05-Jun-11 23:41:24

I wonder if you can help me deciphering all this?
Concerns have been raised at school about how to support my son into the next year at school. (He is coming to the end of his first year at school.) I have had a meeting with the teacher and assistant head. He is very sensitive and it hasn't got better over his first year at school. He is emotionally behind his peers and doesn't socialise in the same way (but is popular!)
Apparently he is very imaginative at drama, organising kids into scenarios with ability beyond his years. He is good at maths and model building. I have no idea by how much. He likes to explain the different meanings of words in class he comes across which has attracted attention from staff. His memory is excellent. I have begun to notice his questioning of adults in situations that interest him...the space museum about planets, the beekeeper at a bee exhibition we were at, an exhibition about blood cells...
He's probably just a bright little boy. He was an early recogniser/reader of numbers and simple words and signs. But now shows no amazing aptitude for reading or writing. He was an early talker.
Should I mention anything to the teacher about my suspicions that maybe he is showing some signs of being differently able in some areas? Mind you what would she do differently?! She might roll her eyes!
(you will notice I am choosing my language carefully!)
I wouldn't have been exploring this but for being called for the meeting at school and the concerns raised by his extreme behaviour at a recent event.

piprabbit Sun 05-Jun-11 23:47:30

Can you share any more information about your DS's behaviour at the event?

It's just that I'm not sure that a meeting to discuss a particular situation would be the ideal scenario to ask the school about your G&T suspicions...unless you feel there is some link between his abilities and his extreme behaviour?

Bibbit Mon 06-Jun-11 00:01:11

It was a school sports day and, from the first activity, he freaked...threw a massive crying fit...was taken away to calm down...tried again, threw himself to the ground without protecting his face and tantrummed, kicking his legs violently. We took him away and he immediately calmed down. He didnt like the noise or crowd of parents. The teacher was very concerned by the extreme behaviour.
We have already discussed this incident and, after the meeting, I began to think about other reasons that he might be behaving like this. I was concerned that this behaviour doesnt seem to be improving over the school year. The teacher was concerned that the system used to ensure discipline in the next school year might be tough on him.
I am just trying to understand him! I am taking small steps.

piprabbit Mon 06-Jun-11 00:06:59

It sounds like he found sports day very distressing sad. It doesn't sound like traditionally 'naughty' behaviour which would respond well to traditional discipline.

What steps are the school taking to improve the situation? Have they put a plan in place already - or is that what is up for discussion?

Have you had his hearing checked out by the GP - just in case there is a medical reason why he found the noise so uncomfortable?

cory Mon 06-Jun-11 08:51:57

It does sound sensory in some ways rather than merely being naughty because he is bored- so I would do as piprabbit suggests and keep the gifted discussion for another meeting. If he finds noise and crowds distressing, they won't sort that problem merely by giving him more interesting maths lessons- they'll need to come up with a plan that helps him to cope with the actual triggers.

Bibbit Mon 06-Jun-11 09:02:10

thank you. At the meeting we established that our approaches to discipline are the same at home and school. The school have suggested continuing with this approach also giving him plenty of explanation about what will be happening (when we can anticipate these events) and trying to get him to articulate what the problem is after these episodes. I often pick him up from school in floods of tears about something (not just noise/crowd related incident). The support teacher (for another child) has said he is very sensitive. We have agreed that the next year at school may be better for him as it is more structured...I am not pushing for a gifted (or "more able") diagnosis but instead trying to find reasons for his behaviour.

PaintingRainbows Tue 07-Jun-11 19:51:22

Hi Bibbit,
Wonder whether any of the things mentioned on the 'dd hates school' thread strike a chord with your son? I usually just lurk on these threads; dd's teacher says she has never taught another child like dd in ability but I feel I belong over on the 'special needs children' boards as she has Aspergers (the 'gifted' bit being a by product of the Aspergers iyswim). The academic side isn't an issue, its the behaviour that challenges us! One of the things which marks dd out is her sensory sensitivities which are so common in ASD children. Do you think your son might be on the Spectrum?

Bibbit Wed 08-Jun-11 21:26:01

TBH I have no idea if he might be autistic. The school haven't said anything...although come to think of it, one of the teachers did mention trying to use social stories with him. I now understand these can be used for autistic children and other children can use them too.

He doesn't have any problems with touching. He certainly doesn't like people looking at him. But he is very sociable and chatty. I really don't know but will explore further.

Do you go to a doctor or health visitor for a diagnosis/further help with behaviour? Would the school tell me if they thought this was necessary? Thanks for your help btw.

PaintingRainbows Thu 09-Jun-11 08:02:13

I went to the GP who referred dd to a paediatrician. She was assessed by him and a SALT. School didn't think she had Aspergers, they thought it was just that she was 'gifted' and her emotional development was lagging behind. dd is very sociable and chatty too (but sometimes doesn't know when to stop and doesn't notice when other kids have lost interest).

zeolite Thu 09-Jun-11 16:45:33

Hi Bibbit have you read this?

gordongrumblebum Sat 11-Jun-11 21:27:20

I have an 'able' mathematician in my class (Y2), who was seen by a paediatrician for suspected aspergers last year, mainly due to his lack of social skills / eye contact / reactions to events in class.

As he's matured through Y2, he has become much better socialised to the point that he can now accept (and report to the teacher) that other people have cheated without throwing a wobbly!! And he can take jokes and laugh about himself.

My theory is that in YR/Y1 he was so good at maths that the other children thought he was 'weird', and he couldn't understand why he could do things and they couldn't. In Y2 several of them have come on by leaps and bounds and it has been possible to stretch a little group of 5. All of them find some part of the maths challenging.

I think he probably would have been seen as gifted in YR/1, but in Y2, he's just bright, like some of his peers.

And the lovely thing is, he's so happy this year! smile smile

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