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Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

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Talk to other parents about parenting a gifted child on this forum.

Gifted and talented

Independent EP assessment in school

33 replies

abeltasman · 05/06/2011 20:08

was wondering if anyone has had experience (good or bad) of paying (shedloads !) for an independent EP to have their DC assessed within the school environment?

Although DS obviously bright, I don't want tp pay someone £££ to tell me he is bright. What I want to do is work out why he is achieving so much at home yet zero at school, along with bad behaviour and unhappiness.

A year ago he loved school and could concentrate beautifully. Now he doesn't want to go and his teacher says he doesn't want to do the (limited) extended work he is more than capable of (it is at least a year easier work than he happily does at home through free choice).

I don't want to get the school's back up as I want to work with them and avoid pulling him out. But I can't have him so miserable. He is youngest in Y1 in what was a good school (but IMO is sliding). I think there may be other issues at play (EP friends suggested mild aspergers, am not surprised), or ADHD. I know his ableness has been hidden at school and may well hide other issues.

How did you approach the school? Any success stories? If the EP found anything untoward, did the school act on it?

Thanks!

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abeltasman · 05/06/2011 20:13

I wanted to add, we are considering private school for G&T side but don't want to if SN as this cost ecpxtra and we are tight enough already on ££, Indy sector charges more ££ for SEN.

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belledechocchipcookie · 05/06/2011 20:14

The schools won't always accept an independent EP. Have you spoken to them? Is he being bullied?

belledechocchipcookie · 05/06/2011 20:17

Not all independent schools charge extra for SN.

abeltasman · 05/06/2011 20:17

The other kids in his school are a 'mixed bunch'. One by one the brighter kids have left for the independent sector. His ability stands out a mile and he is 'quirky' ;) He is also little and I have already clamped down on some bullying. Even school has noticed a drmatic change in him. But it is more the educational side I am worried about. He says he is bored and there is no point going to school as he doesn't do anything :(

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belledechocchipcookie · 05/06/2011 20:23

I have a 'quirky' boy, he was a bully magnet unfortunatly and I've had a hell of a time trying to find a school that can support him academically. He sounds very unhappy and is withdrawing. Very bright children either withdraw or become disruptive when they are not challenged and it's horrible for a parent to see their child like this, it must be horrible for you. I would have a look at the alternatives as it doesn't sound as though they are meeting his needs at all. The fact that the other bright children have all left confirms this.

abeltasman · 05/06/2011 20:39

Thank you for your support, it really is tough and I am sad to hear you are in a similar position :( What have you done to reverse this?

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belledechocchipcookie · 05/06/2011 20:42

I moved him, a few times until I found the right school for him. Academically he's doing very well, the work is challenging for him but he still finds life hard. His school is independent. I did try a state primary but removed him after a term and a half, he was learning nothing and was being badly bullied.

abeltasman · 05/06/2011 20:45

Poor poppet :( a blessing and a curse...

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belledechocchipcookie · 05/06/2011 20:46

It does get easier with the right support.

abeltasman · 05/06/2011 21:16

Belle, I'd be interested in any other advice you have - seems like you have been there got the tshirt. Feeling a bit isolated about it all, happy to PM if you'd rather. Pretty please ;)

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abeltasman · 05/06/2011 21:16

Belle, I'd be interested in any other advice you have - seems like you have been there got the tshirt. Feeling a bit isolated about it all, happy to PM if you'd rather. Pretty please ;)

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abeltasman · 05/06/2011 21:17

(oops sorry double post, blasted interwebt!)

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belledechocchipcookie · 05/06/2011 21:19

Ask away, don't worry about PM's, the info could help someone else.

belledechocchipcookie · 05/06/2011 21:22

//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/gifted_and_talented/988950-A-place-where-we-can-chat-about-how-our-DC I think this thread's still up and running, it's full of parents who are in the same boat. You're not alone.

abeltasman · 05/06/2011 21:25

What were the most constructive things you did for yor DC at home even when school was failing? How did you get to the bottom of the matter?DS VERY close-lipped and not great at emotional literacy (would say he is behind in that), and it is so hard to get to what he is really feeling. Some things he is very clear on (boredom) but other stuff not so easy to disentangle about why he is so miserable.

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abeltasman · 05/06/2011 21:26

Oh, and did you get your son tested in the end?

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BoffinMum · 05/06/2011 21:28

I would have a chat with the school's HT or even the SENCO and say your son isn't happy. Also give yourself the option of looking around other state schools - don't assume you have to go private, sometimes if you dig a bit you find there's one particular state school locally that does really well with non-standard children. For that is what many of them are, non-standard, not necessarily SEN.

An independent EP assessment would not necessarily involve them sitting in the classroom, by the way. They might just test for IQ and related abilities, and give suggestions for your son's teachers (which they may or may not follow).

belledechocchipcookie · 05/06/2011 21:33

He's never been tested, I didn't see the need. I was the pushy mum, I needed to be but it was hard. I've always spent a lot of time talking to him, he was an early reader (age 3) so I've always encouraged this (taking him to the library etc), he's also done topics at home but it's been hard to make sure that he doesn't cover the same things at school. I did have to see the class teacher a lot and only moved him once he became very unhappy as there was no other way forwards.

Ds was behind emotionally, his last (independent) primary was very nurturing and he's developed emmensly. For years he was 'happy,' all the time he was 'happy,' and he's only just started to talk about the other emotions he has and he's 12. They do get there, they just don't always understand what they are feeling and why.

Merle · 05/06/2011 21:36

I've told this tale before on here but I really regret not getting an independent EP assessment for my eldest son. At KS1 he was bright but difficult and not really learning. Fast forward seven years at he has been CAT tested at grammar school. I was amazed by the results. I don't mean this on a boastful way, but I wish I'd had this information years ago. The thing with this kind of testing, from what I understand, is that it will hilight the weaknesses as well as the strengths.

abeltasman · 05/06/2011 21:42

Thanks Merle. It is the weaknesses I am more concerned about, I know D S is bright (a 5yo who enjoys sitting down and doing algebra?!) but I know there are some glaring 'issues', I just am not trained to spot or name them!

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belledechocchipcookie · 05/06/2011 21:46

If it will help to have him assessed then you can go through the GP.

abeltasman · 05/06/2011 21:48

Boffin, I did have a chat with HT and class teacher but what they promised has not materialised. Also they said "oh well he is doing Y3 stuff with X" as if that was enough... he is way past that at home and X is bright but nowhere near that level. It's like they will differentiate but only for a group, not the individual, and if the group find it hard then they back off, rather than see what each child can do. My DS doesn't show off and is cowed by his mates, he doesn't like to be 'different' :(

I could do an EP assessment at home but feel that the 'issues' are those emotional and behavioural ones (eg hypersensitivity to noise) that are more easily spotted in the school (his motivation is great at home, but lousy at school).

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abeltasman · 05/06/2011 21:50

Belle, the school nurse is referring him to PCAMHS But not EP as they don't have the budget or the 'ticks in right boxes' for a SEN assessment ('too bright' apparently!!)

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belledechocchipcookie · 05/06/2011 21:54

He'll be really struggling at school if he's hypersensitive to noise, the class will be bustling. He needs to be somewhere smaller (& quieter).

abeltasman · 05/06/2011 22:11

I know, Belle. We got him into the smallest (state) school we could, as the noise issue is a problem. Sadly his teacher this year is NOT good at controlling her class and it is rather noisy. Cant see next year being any better :(

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