Teachers don't understand him...

[vrooom]

Sorry for the long message to follow, any advice welcome.

DS1, just turned six but in yr2, is exceptionally bright, gifted if you like. We know this by the amazing conversations we have with him, the conclusions he draws and things he has done early. Eg he was completely independent on the computer, starting it up, inputting password, double clicking to start the web browser and clicking on bookmarks to open up cbeebies aged 2 and 3 months. He was never taught, just caught him at it one morning at 4 am...

However, he only shows his ability in things he is interested in. When reading the NAGC comparision, gifted vs bright, he meets none of the bright criteria and pretty much all the gifted ones. I.e. he is a bit of a difficult child, wants to always make up new rules, always inventing things and lives in his own world.

Anywhere he goes where he has a lot of one on one attention, eg summer playscheme, the teachers/coaches/leaders always make a point of how bright he is. They seek me out to talk about the conversations they have had and how we must nurture his talents. They don't do this to anyone else. His violin teacher of two weeks, a mature lady who has clicked with him, hit the nail on the head when she said that she has never taught anyone like him before. With most children you teach them from 1 to 100, with DS1 you teach him 1, then 78, then 23 etc and hope that 2, 3 and 4 fit themselves in somewhere along the way. You can only teach him what he wants to learn.

School teachers don't understand this. I tried having a meeting with his teacher last week, but clearly didn't get the message across. His year 1 teacher admitted a huge problem in motivating him. What he needs is problem solving. Give him something interesting to solve and he will complete work for children way older. If you give him simple or uninspired work to do he switches off and says he does't know the answer. At school he gets away with it.

My concern is that he keeps switching off at school and is unmotivated and unhappy. He always says the only thing he likes about school is playtime.

Any advice? Anyone found themselves in a similar situation? I don't want to be the "pushy mum" which is how I fell like I come across to the teachers. I just want him stimulated at school and for them to understand that he is different.

[abr1de]

Hang on, he was on the internet aged two and three months...?

[c0rns1lk]

He was on cbeebies independently at 2-3 months?

[c0rns1lk]

lol abride!

[Hulababy]

I asuume OP means 2y3m, rather than 2-3 months old! At least I hope so, lol.

[Checkmate]

Every child is different and unique.

There are building blocks that have to be learned, and primary school is the best place to do so.

When he gets a job later in life, he won't be able to opt out of parts of the job description because they are uninspiring (and every job has its boring parts), so children need to learn to take part in all the curriculum, not just the bit that they are passionate about.

I'd leave the teachers to it, if I were you, and concentrate on out of school activities that he loves. Then, lots of praise and rewards for learning tables/spellings/whatever he doesn't like.

[SoupDragon]

The only way he will get enough stimulation is if you send him private or home educate.

[YunoYurbubson]

I would say you need to concentrate your efforts on teaching him to fit in with the rest of the world, rather than want the rest of the world to change to accomodate him.

I mean that nicely, and I understand that this will be a challenge for both of you.

[vrooom]

we had been with him on the computer every time up until that morning. He thought we were sleeping, grabbed the laptop and the wifi had been left on. Password was easy, his own four letter name, and cbeebies was on the bookmark toolbar.

DS2 would never do this. Is now 2 and 4 months, but will probably get better school results as he is more straigh forward.

Amazing I know. It woke me up pretty quickly, but it is true...

[winnybella]

My best friend's son was able to to use internet at barely 2 yo- I'm quite sure he isn't 'gifted'.

My DS (8) is bright and gets bored at school if they do stuff he already knows. Tough for him,the teachers and I still expect him to do it and then he can do more advanced work if he feels like it.

From what you say it's hard to see how your DS is gifted- he sounds like a bright kid, but hmm...perhaps you/him need to work on his ability to focus a bit more?

[Hulababy]

I think you need to work with him and the school on his attitude and behaviour.

At school, in a class of30 other children, he can't be the one deciding what he will learn, when he wants to learn it.

the teachers need to make lesson plans, need to follow timetables. They have a curriculum to follow and get through. They have learning objectoves they need to meet with the children.

If you want the type of educain where your child dictates what is taught and what os lear, when and how, then you may need ot look for an alternative form of education. have you considered home schooling?

[Hulababy]

TBH - I have known of several children who at 2y were able to access the computer or a wesbite on a bookmark. I wouldn't read to much into that.

[MaMoTTaT]

my DS2 and 3 were using the internet at 2 as well - they'd, ermm been well versed in it.

DS2 is fairly bright - but certainly not talented or gifted (unless strops count??), DS3 is a blabber mouth and rarely shuts up or stops coming out with quite clever stuff.......I don't think he's that clever either

[jetgirl]

I think op means 2 yrs 3 months

A bit about the password thing. If he is that gifted could home schooling be an option in case school does become problematic.

[jetgirl]

X-posted with a few there...was interrupted by my not so bright ds pouring milk from a cup into a beaker with holes in and not noticing the mess he was making

[ShatnersBassoon]

Have you told your son that he has to do what the teacher asks of him at school? Lots of children find school dull, but they have to get on with it or fall behind.

If he's as bright as you believe, he'll get the hang of learning to somebody else's timetable.

[MaMoTTaT]

I've also noticed since my own DS2 went into YR2 earlier this month a rather cocky "don't want to do that, so not going to do that" attitude appear - I think it's the fact he's now a "senior" in the infant school and therefore he thinks he's God or something......

[vrooom]

He does't dictate to the world. He just switches off and moves into his own world. You also can't get him to change. Have been trying for the last few years. As he gets older and more aware of the world we will work on it more but he is such a lovely person that I also don't want to take his personality away and brainwash him into a stereotype.

His school levels are average for writing, slightly above average for maths and really good for reading.

It is not about levels, just don't want him to be bored. The levels will never reflect where he is at as. For example, he completes some year 4,5 or even 6 maths, but has a gap in some year 2 maths. Therefore the level will be low because of the gaps. As he is still so young I don't feel the need to fill in the gaps to achieve a higher level. Prefer to keep him interested in maths and enjoy it. He will probably shine by the end of primary school if he is kept motivated.

We home edded for a while in year 1 as he was so bored at school and he completed almost all year 2 work in a few months. However, we felt the need for him to get used to the world and not become a "weirdo geek" and, sad, but true, there is a huge shortage of school places here for the years coming up. They are short of 15 forms and DS2 won't get a school place unless as a sibling.

[ragged]

You won't have much success asking the teacher to change their teaching methods just to best suit your DC.

You could look at private schools, especially those that specialise in very bright kids, or perhaps you would like to home-ed.

If it were my child I would try to persuade them that sometimes they have to go along with what the teacher says and how the teacher wants things to be done, even if they don't feel like it. Because life is full of occasions when we all have to do that.

(The height of my 2yo's intellectual achievements today is trying to drink muddy puddle water, sigh).

[cece]

TBH he sounds very much like my DS1. He is also Year 2. I however, do not think he is gifted. Clever yes but not gifted. I have working very hard with the teachers to get him to understand that there is some work that he has to do, whether he likes it or not.

TBH I don't think you are doing him any favours by undermining the school/teacher in front of him.

[AMumInScotland]

I don't think a mainstream school is ever going to comply with your idea that they should only try to teach him what he wants to learn, or that it is their job to change the curriculum to suit him.

If you genuinely think that this is the best thing for him, you're going to have to find a small alternative private school which will be happy to go along with this, or else home educate him.

OTOH you could view your responsibility as a parent to include teaching him that sometimes he has to do what other people tell him, and to learn the basic principles of a thing as well as the bits he finds interesting.

I know which of those two children I would prefer to meet in later life.