Nursery report not adding up with what we thought. HELP PLEASE!

[MamaTurtle]

Hi!

I am new to this site - I found it when googling and thought you might be able to give me some advice. Apologies if I'm doing something wrong.

My daughter, who is 3years 8months, goes to nursery, and has just received her 'end of year' report which outlines how the children are doing.

It says that she's a pleasure to have in the nursery etc., but also says that she's performing averagely and 'meeting most of the milestones'.

However, her grandparents, and my friends, are always commenting on how bright she is - we're having her (privately) assessed for being Gifted, as we think she seems to show signs of this.

Here are some of the things she can do:

• Count to 10
  
• Get herself dressed
  
• Constantly asks questions - 'why are we going to town, Mummy?'/'How does the bus driver know where he's going?'
  
• Knows the alphabet
  
• Can make a necklace out of beads
  
• Knows how to make a sandwich, and can repeat the instructions
  
  So, my question is this: Why do the nursery not register that she is highly able, probably moreso than many of her peers?
  
  Should we be looking at moving her to an Independent nursery where they will recognise, and nurture, her abilities?
  
  Can we start her at school early so that she is sufficiently pushed?
  
  Thankyou, in advance, for your time.

[bigstripeytiger]

The things that you list are pretty average. My DD is a similar age, and does those things too, I dont think that it is exceptional.

I think that it is normal for people to say how bright a child is - its a nice thing to say, but Im not sure that it means very much.

[domesticsluttery]

Hi MamaTurtle,

To be honest what your saying sounds pretty normal for a child of that age. I know all of my three DC could count, get themselves dressed, recognise letters etc at that age, and I'm sure most of their peers could too.

In my experience grandparents and friends can be a little bit biased, I'm sure my mum thinks that her grandchildren are the next Einstein, Beethoven and Shakespeare!

[MoonUnitAlpha]

She sounds pretty average for her age - I'm sure she is a bright and delightful girl though, and the nursery recognise that. Don't worry about pushing her.

[Babbit]

My 2.10 ds can do all the things you describe and I do not think he is gifted. Anyway, it is not for nursery staff to assess your child in that way. Dd is in reception and they give no indication of ability, only if they are under achieving. I think if I were you I would let my dc enjoy her childhood and leave such matters until she's older.

[littleducks]

I'm sure that your dd is a lovely bright girl but tbh from what you have liosted she appears to be 'average' and there is nothing wrong with that, she may well go onto to achieve academic excedllence but its too early to tell yet

[gorionine]

What the others have said.

I think in nursery the main thing is that they are comfortable socially and can interract both with the adults and the children. There will be plenty of time to "worry" about her being pushed more on accademic subjects.

[tiredemma]

What do you gain from having her privately assessed for 'Gifted'?

[thisisyesterday]

i suspect it is becaause she is average

i think a lot of 3.8 yr olds can do everything you describe in the OP, esp girls

everyone thinks their child is very clever
but really, i think she is just normal

[MoonUnitAlpha]

And actually, children who "peak" early tend not to go on to be great geniuses. The brain takes a while to mature and it's often the late developers who are most successful.

[NorkyButNice]

I'd be delighted with the fact that she is a delight to have in the nursery - social skills are so much more important than academic ones at age 3.

FWIW, DS goes to a private nursery and the majority of children in his age group (2 to 3) are able to count and identify letters, along with other things you've mentioned. I think this is pretty normal, rather than being due to private nursery though!

Enjoy having a delightful DD!

[thedollshouse]

My ds could do all of the things that you have listed before the age of 3 but he has always been average, certainly not gifted.

[Helenastar]

your DD is the same age as mine, and my DD can do all what you have said, as can nearly all the kids in her nursery.
She sounds about average, let your DD grow up without the need to be pushed so early, she has many years in education to go yet!

[MathsMadMummy]

from what you describe she sounds lovely, and is doing well. but it's way too early really, to think about giftedness. it is much more important that she is happy and develops social skills. just enjoy her and play lots of games together

why do you want to get her assessed privately?

[MrsBadger]

she isw normal
dd (2.11) can do all that too though her shoes will be on the wrong feet

nursery sound fine
at home, extend her rather than push her - give her as wide a variety of experiences as possi9ble

[MathsMadMummy]

also I really wouldn't think about private nursery or starting school early. at this age she'll be learning through play, and her most important playmate right now is you!

[thecatatemygymsuit]

She sounds a very pleasant child but not necessarily 'gifted', sorry!
DD is a similar age and has done those sort of things for some time (except the beads, have never tried it), and more, including counting up to at least 50, and she is not, as far as I know, in any way gifted!
I would genuinely be happy about your daughter's social skills - she sounds lovely .

[misdee]

your dd sounds lovely.

and average

[ShadeofViolet]

Enjoy her - she sounds lovely but I dont think she if gifted. My DS could do all those things by 3.8, as can most other children I know (except maybe the sandwich bit).

[carmenjones]

My mother thought that my ds and neice were very bright for their age (and she's an ex primary teacher) until she did some supply work at a local nursery and realised that they were just the average product of loving homes, that exposed them to learning and spent time with them (you have to be very gifted to pick up numbers and letters if you've never been exposed to them - some very gifted children from deprived backgrounds do manage this. Not many.).

Your dd sounds great and you should be very proud of her, but you don't have to worry about bringing her on or sending her to school early - just do what you're doing and she'll thrive on it

[RiverOfSleep]

I don't think sandwich-making is on the EYFS curiculum otherwise I am sure nursery would have her down as Gifted. Try not to worry.

[MathsMadMummy]

when you say count to ten, do you mean saying 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 or do you mean if, say, you put 6 jelly beans in front of her, she would count them and say there were 6?

one-to-one correspondence

[ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave]

She does sound lovely, but average. DD is two and a quarter, for example, and can count to twelve and dress herself (and DD is pretty average too).

[witchwithallthetrimmings]

I'm not sure any early years setting makes judgements of the kind that you are after. You know your dd is bright, you don't need anyone else to tell you. If she was being under-stimulated at nursery you would know about it through her behaviour, there is no real benefit to a report that says that you have a bright child. Get used to it before you have a report in reception with a target of "doing her coat up" and "sitting nicely on the mat"!