Naturally loud voice. But keep being accused of shouting.

(28 Posts)
Oblomov Thu 24-Jun-10 09:42:05

I have a very loud voice naturally. achilles heel. i hate it. i have to constantly monitor and think about it, for ever word i say. been doing this all my life. its actually quite a drain / strain. I just want to be able to talk without having to think about it first. And whn i get excites or even a tinsy bit cross, is when i forget to control it and then the damage is done :
i'm at a party. had a glass of wine. and i start telling someone "oh when we were in ibiza, it so SOOO beautiful,and we sat there drinking wine.... la la la" and suddenly dh will whisper "darling you're shouting".
But recently even me dh regularly says 'obs you're shouting' and i don't realise that i am. and yesterday a woman at work accused me of shouting at her. even though i thought i was just talking loudly.
not good. a while ago, due to a different reason, i had my hearing tested. totally normal. actually very good acute hearing, i can hear a mobile vibrating, before it rings, when i'm in the garden and my dh's phone is upstairs in the bedroom.

but this is all abit miserable. what do i do ?

OP’s posts: |
ItsAllaBitNoisy Thu 24-Jun-10 09:48:56

Maybe have a chat to a Speech Therapist?

Are you from a large family by any chance, I have two diff friends from large families, and their default speaking voice is loud! I just assumed it was from trying to make themselves heard over all the other voices.

Oblomov Thu 24-Jun-10 10:03:07

3rd child. 2 older brothers. didn't think it was that.
will a speech therapist see me ? referal through GP ?

OP’s posts: |
Booboobedoo Thu 24-Jun-10 10:07:36

You could try singing lessons.

I'm a singing teacher, and the longer I've taught, the easier I've found it to modulate my speaking and my singing voice. It's just second nature now.

Or drama classes, if you can stomach the idea.

Feel sorry for you atually. Having to constantly squash yourself doesn't sound fun.

Is DH sympathetic?

Horton Thu 24-Jun-10 10:09:45

I also get accused of shouting. DH comes from a very quiet family with just one well-behaved sibling whereas there were four of us and all a bit rambunctious and we all yell all the time. Plus my mum is slightly deaf so I think we probably got used to having to raise our voices to be heard early on. My sympathies, it is very wearing being told you're shouting when you don't feel you are. But, erm, sorry, I have no idea how to stop doing it. Would quite like to know, myself.

werewolf Thu 24-Jun-10 10:12:41

Get a decibel meter. Learn what other people think is a 'normal' level and then practise?

luciemule Thu 24-Jun-10 10:18:27

I too think either singing or drama lessons would be of benefit. I had singing lessons from the age of 14 to 22 and it really got me thinking about I project my voice, not only when singing. It's quite ironic how much power my light, opratic singing voice has, yet I can't shout without sounding like a fish wife or strangled goose!

Perhaps a trip to the whispering gallery at St Pauls would be good practice at sustaining a quiet sound!!!


KurriKurri Thu 24-Jun-10 10:20:02

My DH has your problem - he finds it very hard to control the volume of his voice. Like your partner, I have to nudge him every so often because he's shouting, we have a sort of code, if I squeeze his arm in a certain way it means 'too loud'.

I do find at home that it helps him if I speak in a fairly soft voice most of the time, but especially if he is getting a bit loud, helps him moderate a bit.

But it is a difficult one, sympathies - it must be miserable . I think BooBooBeDoo' suggestions are very good ones, - definitely worth a try.

Oblomov Thu 24-Jun-10 10:23:02

boob, when you say its become 2nd nature for you. well after quite a few years of this, knowingly being a minor issue, you would have thought that by being conscious of it, it would have become 2nd nature to me. but it hasn't . and the strain is ... well not unbearable, but i just can't be bothered anymore.
i know this sounds lazy, but i can't be friggin bothered to think about it anymore.
i might buy a decimal monitor. i can then practice. but this still leaves me with the problem of having to constantly monitor it. and losing/forgetting to monitor it at times of excitement or being cross.
i know it sounds silly, but i just want an operation. they cut my ..... one vocal cord or something silly. and then it'll be sorted. its the constantkly having to monitor it, thats whats so wearing.
and it seems to be getting worse. why's that ?

OP’s posts: |
ZephirineDrouhin Thu 24-Jun-10 10:23:41

I was going to suggest singing lessons too, more because it may be that you have a rather fabulously resonant voice and it might be interesting to find out what you can do with it. But I'm sure booboobedoo is right about it being a good way to learn to modulate it too.

Oblomov Thu 24-Jun-10 10:31:58

i will look into singing lessons.

OP’s posts: |
Booboobedoo Thu 24-Jun-10 10:52:42

You sound monumentally fed-up.

This being the case, I doubly recommend singing lessons, plus joining a choir, as it raises your endorphin levels and makes you feel absurdly happy (ime).

Also agree with ZephirineDrouhin that you may have a fabulous, untapped resource there.

I'll look out for you on Britains Got Talent.

Horton Thu 24-Jun-10 11:11:15

I love the idea of singing lessons. I've always fancied them.

Oblomov Thu 24-Jun-10 11:11:17

boob. i can't sing. i was in the school choir. but they were desperate for numbers. i knew i couldn't sing. she told me thta she was gretful for my background, that i addded.

i don't enjoy it at all. but am prepared to give it a go. if it wil stop the need to constantly monitor.
please tell me i won't need to do if for 8 years like lucie did.8 weeks i could cope with.

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Oblomov Thu 24-Jun-10 11:15:48

BGT ? hmm
errrm no.
addition to spelbound. possibly.
Chandi or Gin the actual dog part of the duo - possibly.
SuBo or Janey ? errmmm never.

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Booboobedoo Thu 24-Jun-10 11:23:22

You could do one of those man/woman/turning-round-quickly acts, like the odd bloke who did Elton and Whatsherface.

Booboobedoo Thu 24-Jun-10 11:24:24

Did the teacher actually tell you that you couldn't sing?

Pitch can usually be taught ime.

stressheaderic Thu 24-Jun-10 11:31:37

I have a very loud voice too. But I'm a teacher and have to spend most of my day trying to make myself heard, I often forget to tone it down when I get home.
I AM a bit deaf though, and this is prob why I've no idea how loud I am. DP frequently has to say "you're shouting".
I cannot sing a note though, utterly tone deaf! Ah well, guess I'll have to live with it, unless anyone has any ideas.

Oblomov Thu 24-Jun-10 11:45:28

almost. i can't remember what she actually said. she was lovely about it. but we both knew what she was saying. didn't bother me or upset me in the slightest. i am a realist. i was only there for the chocolate biscuits and the days out, away from school, when we entered the local singing competitions.

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luciemule Thu 24-Jun-10 13:30:01

I always remember the conversation when I first went on a long car journey with DH and I quoted "anyone can be taught to sing". After an hour of trying, I changed my quote to "anyone can be taught to sing.....except you".
Since reading this thread, I've actually found a fab singing teacher to restart my passion for singing. Thank you Oblomov and hope you get your voice sorted out soon smile

pixierara Fri 25-Jun-10 13:58:59

obs you and me both!! I am just naturally loud, all my life I have been told to "turn the volume down" Neighbours across the street can hear me sometimes. DH always telling me to shush......

Interestingly my dad is also a megaphone. As is DS1. I live with it now despite trying to be quiet and demure in my 20s.....

darkandstormy Fri 25-Jun-10 14:44:54

I am like you, put it to good use your voice by doing drama as it will be your best assetsmile

sammymumof3 Mon 08-Jun-20 22:31:57

What does dh mean or dp?

sammymumof3 Mon 08-Jun-20 22:32:45

What doea dp mean

Tinysarah1985 Mon 08-Jun-20 22:35:55

I am always being told to use my indoor voice as I seem to talk so loudly. I put it down to the fact that my mum talks loudly so that's how I talk aswell.

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