Why do people live in squalor???????

(103 Posts)
Dizgusted Fri 15-Jul-05 13:53:41

I have changed my name, so people can't associate the work etc.

I had to go into a young girls house the other day and couldn't beleive it, don't get me wrong, my house isn't a show home, but, it is NOT dirty, it is dusted and vacuumed every day and the dishes done at the end of each day and I am working alot of hours each week and don't really get any help with the housework from dh and have two young children.

This you girl lived with her boyfriend and her 3 children, i walked in the front door and it was foul, there was rotting dog food and maggots on one side (their youngest baby was crawling), I went in the kitchen and had to try and walk in between the dog mess etc and nearly fell,and had to steady myself on the cooker which made me retch, i didnt think it could get anyworse until i went into the living room, but it did, the sofa had no springs, and my feet were sticking to the floor which and her toddlers mess etc all over, it was boiling hot and the windows were taped shut and had mould ALL over the ledges etc. I then had to go see her mother after and stupidly though to myself that it was the girl being disgusting (her boyfriend was high).

The mothers house was even worse, they had a fire blaring in the back garden with a 2 year old running round it poking things in it, then the kitchen had mucky plates, knives, forks spoons all over, the sink itself was black and full of moldy cartons and the flyes were horrendous, the livin room was so bad I had to make excuses and go to the car, there were AT LEAST 6 or 7 moldy take away cartons on the floor, no carpet, things crawling and the sofa was once cream, there were damp patches on the walls and wall paper falling off and there again things crawling and dozens of new and old banana skins on the floor, again the windows were taped shut, i couldn't wait to get out of the house, what got me the most is not really the squalor, but the fact that they let their children run about in this, one little girl ran up to me and grabbed my leg giving me a hug and she was filthy and i could see lice in her hair so she was obviously infested.

I had to sit in the car for a bit to stop feeling sick when I came out and felt really sorry for the kids, the adults know better, there is no excuse when you can get a bottle of bleach for 50p, albeit not good stuff, but strong enough to clean things.

As soon as i came home I had to have a hot shower and doused my hair in tea tree oil and pull and nit comb through just in case and STILL didn't feel clean.

Sorry about this, rant over, but I felt so bad for the kids, no doubt they will grow up to be the same

OP’s posts: |
Dizgusted Fri 15-Jul-05 13:54:59

AND whilst they were living like this they were drinking lager, one was obviously high on drugs and all smoking liking chimneys at 9 in the morning and when I left the baby was crawling unsupervised near the fire.

OP’s posts: |
NomDePlume Fri 15-Jul-05 13:55:24

That does sound horrid.....

.....but you dust every day ?!

GetMakosiorVanessaorOrlaithOut Fri 15-Jul-05 13:56:45

Poor, poor babies. What hope do they have?

Can't you do anything for them - surely people can't get away with such lack of care?

Dizgusted Fri 15-Jul-05 13:57:22

NDP lol, yes I do dust every day, i do it whilst the kids are eating breakfast, its a habit, if I don't do it I know it won't get done, dh doesn't do anything.

OP’s posts: |
GetMakosiorVanessaorOrlaithOut Fri 15-Jul-05 13:57:29

LOL NDP! I certainly don't!! Do hoover every day though - ds3 is crawling and tries to eat any tiny thing on the floor. Caught him trying to eat a dead fly by the French doors the other day!!!

NomDePlume Fri 15-Jul-05 13:58:08



nutcracker Fri 15-Jul-05 13:58:09

Can you not reffer them to someone for help ???

My house is a tip at the mo as dp is off and has mucked up my routine, but as you say, there is no excuse for things not being clean at least.

Mosschops30 Fri 15-Jul-05 13:58:10

Message withdrawn

Dizgusted Fri 15-Jul-05 13:58:38

What can I do? I don't work in the environmental health sector or anything like that, there was a 7 year old there and when i asked her if she had been to school (she was in a filthy school dress) she said no, she couldn't be bothered, went to bed too late and didn't get up while 11.

OP’s posts: |
NomDePlume Fri 15-Jul-05 13:58:47

Mmmmmmm, flies [gagging emoticon]

Dizgusted Fri 15-Jul-05 14:00:17

THe thing is, that they seemed perfectly at ease to let people in and didn't notice their surroundings;

OP’s posts: |
hatstand Fri 15-Jul-05 14:00:39

dog mess on the floor - imho you could think about phoning something like the nspcc to ask their advice, as a possible precursor to phoning social services. it sounds pretty extreme and neglectful.

nutcracker Fri 15-Jul-05 14:01:31

Hmmm well tbh i think i'd report it to social services.

Pixiefish Fri 15-Jul-05 14:06:23

Can I ask why you were going there?

Hulababy Fri 15-Jul-05 14:06:42

I think it needs reporting TBH. Surely something has to be done; children shouldn't be living like that

snafu Fri 15-Jul-05 14:08:22

Sounds pretty grim. Can you contact anyone through your work who might be able to help, if you don't want to go straight to SS?

Caligula Fri 15-Jul-05 14:12:27

Oh don't start me on this.

I'm in an ongoing "monitoring" situation with an elderly client who lives in absolute squalor with his daughter. He's unable to cook for himself or care for himself (he often goes out looking - ahem - dishevelled - especially around the trouser area) and his dd won't do it for him. She also won't let him use the cooker or cook for him. SS are keeping an eye on him, but unless his dd actually attacks him, or he complains about her, because he's elderly and not a child, they can't do anything. Ridiculous.

I've been told that for some people, they're happy to live like that and it's not up to us to make judgements about it. Which is fine, unless you've got vulnerable persons involved.

NomDePlume Fri 15-Jul-05 14:15:35

Jesus, that's awful, Caligula. Really, really, sad.

Flossam Fri 15-Jul-05 14:18:33

I've been to houses like this. Unfortunately or not, people have the right to live as they choose, although I would think it's a good idea to get SS involved as the kids can't choose can they. For some their main priorities are the drink and the drugs. the wish to change has to come from within themselves.

ScummyMummy Fri 15-Jul-05 14:20:32

Sounds like a definite social services referral to me, Dizgusted, If you went round for work purposes you need to discuss it with your line manager asap.

tiredemma Fri 15-Jul-05 14:24:52

surely SS should be aware of this? are they?

jampots Fri 15-Jul-05 14:29:31

dizgusted - i've been to my sisters this morning who lives in a beautiful courtyard development where her neighbours are quite wealthy/well to do. Her house is more than disgusting. She has gone off on holiday now and was supposed to leave me some money for something so I went to fetch it. Whilst I was there though I had to get the vaccuum out and clean up - it was truly horrid. Lovely cream carpets covered in cat hair and sick stains and spilled drinks. Beds unmade, and huge cobwebs and dust everywhere. I wont even describe the bathroom or kitchen. I know when she gets back she'll be offended but I couldnt help it I just had to spend an hour cleaning the worst of it.

aloha Fri 15-Jul-05 14:30:27

Call the NSPCC - you can do it anonymously and they will immediately inform social services. If this is true, it is totally unacceptable and clearly dangerous for children. You have to do something.

meggymoo Fri 15-Jul-05 14:33:33

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