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General health

cystitis every time we have sex....help!

51 replies

itstooruddycold · 08/02/2010 11:53

Does anyone have any answers that might help me?
For the past 5 years or so I've been getting cystitis every time my DH and I have sex. Its getting so that I really don't want to do it anymore and this is not good!
I always shower & pee before and after, drink pints of water every day but it does not seem to help.

It usually starts the next morning, I get that 'feeling' so I take cymalon or equivalent, drink lots, wee lots, have a warm bath etc etc but I always end up having to get ABs, I've had them so many times now I've lost count.
It gets so that my legs ache and I'm hot and feverish if I can't get the ABs fast enough.

Is there anything you guys can suggest that I can do to prevent this, its ruining my sex life - am I allergic to DH??

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NotQuiteCockney · 08/02/2010 11:57

Ouch. That doesn't sound good.

I'm afraid the problem may be down to how sex goes, iyswim.

Are you sufficiently lubricated when you have sex?

Does your urethra end up getting irritated, somehow?

If you tend to follow the same pattern (oral sex, digital stimulation, whatever), then I would try each activity separately, to see what the cause might be, iyswim.

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KurriKurri · 08/02/2010 12:00

There's some info on recurring cystitis and sex here ITRC

I get recurring urine infections and my doctor has advised drinking cranberry most of the time as a preventative. Could you ask you GP to give you some AB's to have on stand by, so you can take them quickly (this is suggested I think on the link)

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noddyholder · 08/02/2010 12:05

Waterfall d mannose works for some people.My sister uses it and it really works I get cystitis every time too and it is getting to me atm.The d mannose has worked for me occasionally but think I need antibiotics again this time feel dreadful.

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playftseforme · 08/02/2010 12:07

Not good at all .

I used to suffer really badly. I had quite a few tests in the end to see what was going on - transpired that I was resistant to the main AB I was being given, once I had one I wasn't resistant to, the cycle was broken. Also had an ultrasound to check that my kidneys etc were working the way they were supposed to.

Ever since I've taken Cranberry tablets every day and pee afterwards - not sure if either of those two helped, but there was no way I was going to take the risk.

(Oh, TMI but I never got the problem when we used condoms in the early days - at one stage I thought I must be allergic!!! )

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ApuskiDusky · 08/02/2010 12:17

When you get AB's how long is the course?

I used to get this, it got to the point where I broke down in tears at the GPs, saying we had had to agree not to have sex during our honeymoon because of the certainty of getting cystitis.

She gave me a two week course of ABs to get me through - and it not only stopped me getting cystitis on honeymoon, it also broke the cycle of getting repeated infections.

Ten years on and two children later (which required lots of sex for conception), and I have had cystitis maybe 3 times.

In retrospect I think I had an underlying infection that the short courses weren't sorting, and sex was reintroducing the bacteria into the urethra, and the long dose of ABs sorted the underlying infection. It's hard to prove anything, because the chances of having an infection confirmed through a urine test are so slim, I think only 10% of the time would the GP have confirmation of an infection when the sample had been analysed.

If that hadn't worked, I would have gone for taking a single dose of ABs after each time I had sex.

It can be a massive deterrent on having sex, and it took quite a long time for DH and I to get back on track even when I wasn't getting infections any more, because the fear was still there.

All the best with it, it is a nightmare.

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clayre · 08/02/2010 12:22

i also suffer cysitis after sex, i will second the cranberry tablets, i havent had an infection since i started taking them, i also go for a wee after sex.

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CoteDAzur · 08/02/2010 12:29

It sounds like you have a vaginal infection that is transmitted to the urinary track during sex.

I had something similar and mentioned it to gynecologist during a smear test. He treated it with suppositories & oral pills and I haven't had cystitis in ten years.

No need to suffer any longer. Go see a gynecologist.

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ApuskiDusky · 08/02/2010 12:29

I also read a book by Angela Kilmartin, that I found really helpful, which I think is out of print, but she has a new one here:

www.amazon.co.uk/Patients-Encyclopaedia-Cystitis-Sexual-Interstitial/dp/0954267702/ref=pd_bxgy_b_tex?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21 t_b

HTH

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becstarlitsea · 08/02/2010 12:49

I've suffered with this - I went through a phase of being phobic about sex because I knew the pain that would come afterwards.

I take tablets called Cysticare, which contain cranberry extract and other herbs. I take one a day as a preventative and four a day if I have an infection. They really seem to help. I also have a drink which was recommended to me by a homeopath (I know some MN can't stand homeopathy, but it's my choice to use it and your choice as to whether you that I'm loopy or not! I quite possibly am...). The drink is disgusting but seems to help me more than Cymalon et al. The recipe is 2 litres boiling water, 1 handful fresh parsley, 1 handful pearl barley, 2 lemons cut into quarters, 3 tablespoons manuka honey. Leave it to steep then strain and drink it through the day - either warm or hot (it's even more disgusting cold). I also take Staphisargia (homeopathic remedy) at the first twinge.

Interstitial cystitis sucks. Do you have a sympathetic GP who would refer you for specialist investigation?

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purplepeony · 08/02/2010 13:05

go to this site- and read- you can register if you like but there is plenty of info.

www.cobfoundation.org

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purplepeony · 08/02/2010 13:06

www.cobfoundation.org

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littlemisshedgie · 08/02/2010 13:17

hi I had sthg similar for quite a number of years and saw an urologist in the end, who did the usual ultrasound and series of xrays after injecting me with stuff that lights up on an xray. All was ok, he put me on a course of AB's for 9 months in total (low dose, just took 1 every night)to kill any underlying infection that the short courses were not catching properly. Now i just take 1 after sex only, with no recrurring infections for quite a while now! hope this helps

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itstooruddycold · 08/02/2010 14:34

Right, sorry for non reply, fell asleep with my 5 month old

I usually get ABs just for a week and I do get the feeling, as you suggest, that this might not be long enough so will ask the GP if I can't get a longer course to try and break the cycle/infection.
I don't know if I will need to wait until I have stopped breastfeeding until I can do this will I?

I will get some cranberry tablets and take them as well, is it just plain old cranberry tablets or something special?

Don't know if I have a vaginal infection as I have just had a baby and as I had early bleeding in preg, so had quite a few tests to see what was wrong but I am due a smear test so good idea to ask them to have a look too.

I really like cranberry juice as well so maybe starting off each day with a glass can't hurt.

And big hug noddy go have a ncie warm bath

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itstooruddycold · 08/02/2010 14:39

Cockney Don't think its a lubrication problem, seem to have plenty and no set pattern that we follow so may not be that either but will def have a think about that and see if anything in particular causes it

Thanks for all the advice and links too everyone, off to read them now.

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weegiemum · 08/02/2010 14:42

has been a prob for me.

  1. lots of cranberry
  2. wash before and after
  3. my urologist suggested a dose of antibiotics (just one) every time after sex ..... has been very helpful!
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SnotBaby · 08/02/2010 14:44

I went through this my whole 20s, the situation improved when I found out I had a latex intolerance, so safe sex was rather expensive for me (latex free ones are £££s)

Just in case you and your DP use them!

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itstooruddycold · 08/02/2010 14:44

kurri good link thanks, why has doc never suggested I could get ABs as a long term low dose or single tablet after sex, that would be ideal! Right, off to phone him!!

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Pineapplechunks · 08/02/2010 15:01

When you pee(particularly before sex) try double micturation(peeing twice): pee then wait 15-30 seconds and pee again to completely empty your bladder and what might be left in your urethra.

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topsi · 08/02/2010 15:02

I used to get cystitis all the time. Then I has a really long course of ABX like about a months worth and it really helped.
Also with the cranberry thing take it to prevent infections, but if you have an active infection avoid it, because it will make your urine acidic and therefore make you feel more unconfortable. During a bout drink just water or those sachets really help.
Its a nasty business

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phokoje · 08/02/2010 15:10

um, try getting your DH to wash himself before sex.

its no good you being the only one washing before sex, he has to too.

a friend had terrible cystitis and since her DH has been washing himself before sex, she hasnt had it again.

she was a bit worried about the sponteneity thing, but now they include cleaning in foreplay. they even installed a bidet.

sorry if tmi!

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noddyholder · 08/02/2010 15:15

thanks ITRC I had antibiotics for 6 months in the 80s and it worked a treat |This recent bout seems to keep recurring so am going to ask again for a long course Hope you get well soon too its a real pain literally!

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itstooruddycold · 08/02/2010 16:13

weegiemum are you breastfeeding? Can you take your ABs if so?

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TulipsInTheRain · 08/02/2010 16:19

dp did this to me when he had an ongoing chest/throat infection.... took me a while to cop that he was infecting me everytime he went down

i wonder could your dh have something in another part of him other than his pants that's causing it maybe?

gumdisese? a rotton tooth? a recurring sore throat?

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EspeciallyForYou · 08/02/2010 16:59

I used to have this but peeing asap after sex cured it - got the tip from a book on Cystitis.

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itstooruddycold · 09/02/2010 15:48

Yes DP always has a wash before, its not really a huge problem we make a joke of it but it doesn't seem to make a diff I think after reading this its def the antibiotics I need.
Tulips he doesn't always do that so I don't think its anything in his mouth
Thanks tho

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