Never want to be pregnant again ...

[fisil]

so what contraception should we use?

I asked for sterilization because I never ever ever want to be pg again after the ante-natal depression I suffered from. The GP warned against it saying something may happen and we'd change our minds. However, dp and I both have much younger brothers - one a mistake, one a replacement for a child who died. We don't want a child in either circumstance.

GP has suggested pill or coil.

Pill is good cos I get PMS & Mittelschmerz (sp?) which I used to take the pill to control. But pill is bad cos I really can't be bothered to manage taking it every day and risk having a tummy bug and getting pg.

Coil is good as I can forget about it but it won't help with the other health bits.

Condoms are also an option as we have an extremely lazy and relaxed sex life (2-3 times per year!), but is it too much of a risk?

Advice please (and yes, I am talking about this with dp too)

[happymerryberries]

To be honest I felt just like you not because of PND but because I was so ill with the pgs and am so old!

If you are sure that you would never want another child under any circumstances then push for a sterilisation. I had it donce when I had the c section.

[gigglinggoblin]

you can get an implant in your arm which lasts 3 months and is similar type of thing to the pill.

[cupcakes]

I would use condoms. Why use the pill or coil if you're protecting yourself daily against fertilisation which might only happen a few times a year?

[zebraZ]

there are some good previous threads about this, Fisil.

You do sound like a good candidate for sterilisation. I know women who had it done at age 26 (after 3 unplanned pregnancies with 3 different dads) & 29 (after planned babies but bad PND). I have been told that doctors are trying to discourage sterilisation just to keep waiting lists down!! I was on the list for sterlisation & hospital consultant talked me out of it ... I think he said that something like 25% of women regret it.

I am getting the implant (like the minipill in effects and side-effects & efficacy, but you don't have to think about it!) next month and will probably decide to get sterilised after that.

Lots of women get on very well with the hormonal IUD. Might help with the PMS, since it can stop periods altogether... Are you on the combined pill & are you saying that only the combined pill helps with pms?

None of them is perfect in all ways, though.

[fisil]

Thanks for your answers.

ZebraZ, the combined pill is good for the mittelschmerz because you don't ovulate. It also helps me to manage the PMS, as part of my problem is that I don't always identify it as such, but with the pill I can put in my diary the exact time it will hit!

BTW, my mum did say that she never had the mittelschmerz after she had her first child - so maybe it might clear up now. It didn't between my two, though.

What exactly is sterilisation - what does it involve,what does it do? As cupcakes says, is it something really worth doing for the odd occasion when dp and I have the energy and desire?

[happymerryberries]

Fisil I had mine done when I had a section, so my experience is not 'normal' IYSWIM. I have found it excellent and I don't have to fuss with anything or even think about contraception any more. Normaly it is done as a laperotomy style operation. you will be a bit sore and that is it. It isn't as effective as male sterilisation btw but still better than the pill or te non hormonat IUD.

Down side is that you have to be 100% sure as reveral is not easy or very effective.

I have never regretted it for a second.

[hoxtonchick]

how about your dp being sterilised fisil, is that an option?

[fisil]

hoxtonchick - I think his situation is slightly different. He could end up with a different partner years from now and no children around. The chances of me ending up in that situation are extremely unlikely. This was my parents line of thinking, which is why my dad didn't get the snip. And then my brother came along 13 years later. Of course he was snipped before my brother ever saw the light of day! Also it is much more important to me that I never get pg again than it is to dp!

[happymerryberries]

You are very sensible. The person who never wants any more should be the person to have it done.

That was my rational, plus I was having an anaesthetic and was in the operating theater so it was easier to get it done then and there. I also wanted liposuction and a tummy tuck, but they wouldn't do those!

[Prufrock]

fisil - I was thinking very similar things a year ago -(but have now possibly changed my mind
). The implant lasts for 3-5 years and because it is hormonal might help with the PMT- Google IMPLANON for more info. Depo-Provera might also be an option - hormone injections every 3 months, or maybe even a contraceptive patch - all the benefits of the pill without the risk of tummy bugs.

[mears]

Mirena coil has as good a rate as sterilisation and will help your other problems because it is impregnated with low dose progesterone. Either that or implants.

Family planning clinic is best place to go for advice. They are the experts, better than GP. You should have one locally.

[lou33]

i have never regretted being sterilised. I do not want any more kids, and if anything happened to the ones i have now, they couldn't be replaced by producing another imo.

[expatinscotland]

Push for sterilisation. It's YOUR body and YOUR informed decision. Is the GP going to pay for childcare when you have an accidental pregnancy? Didn't think so.

[expatinscotland]

I'll be 35 early next year and NEVER want to be pregnant again. I don't have nice pregnancies and feel that two children are all I have the energy for.

I found a sympathetic (female) GP who put me on the list already - b/c it's very long, but worth it to me!

My best friend had it done w/a laproscope when she was 40 after raising a daughter alone and hasn't regretted it. She was out of work for about a week and w/i three weeks was back to working out and doing what she'd always done.

[starrynight]

I would echo other posts - I had Mirena and it was excellent - I forgot about it for 4 years, stopped having periods etc. Though I have heard others have had side effects - so look into.

If you are 100% sure about sterilisation then go to the dr's and force them to refer you - fgs its up to you not them!

[happymerryberries]

I was 37 when I was sterilised and they did it immediatly after I had the c section for ds.

No-one tried to argue me out of the decision

[FIMAC1]

My cousins wife has had her coil removed as she has had severe depression since having it fitted - check before you choose this route (she has improved since the removal)

[fisil]

FIMAC1 - do you know any more than that about the coil? That would worry me as I am currently on ads and hoping to come off soon, but I now know that I am prone to depression. It would seem ironic too - the whole point of this contraception is to prevent me from getting ante-natal depression again!

I will find out about family planning clinic. I know dp sees it as an open and shut case, but I do have a nagging doubt about sterilisation (basically that I have heard a case of it failing, and I am therefore not sure whether I would trust it, and might insist on condoms anyway). So I think you're right - I do need to talk to the experts!

[FIMAC1]

Fisil

I don't want to worry you needlessly, but she was told that the effect on the hormones that the coil had was not helping her depression -

Also sterilization would poss have an effect on hormones - I'm not sure?

• would you dp consider having a vascectomy - to take the choice of which one to have away from you
  
  hth

[katzguk]

heres the nhs's info on sterilisation

sterilisation

[starrynight]

Just to add - I have a history of depression but didn't experience anything when I was on the Mirena coil. Its different for everyone I guess, you could try it and if it wasn't for you then take it out.

[starrynight]

Thats hormone-related depression & not. (i.e. PND & plain old any time depression)