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DD is 11 and is suffering from acute anxiety, having suicidal thoughts please help.

(25 Posts)
cocolepew Sun 08-Nov-09 12:38:49

My DD has NF1 with has anxiety as part of it it's spiralled to the point of her talking about suicide. Last Thursday we had to admit her to hospital, she had a breakdown and was telling us to hide the knives. She has been assessed by thr youth crisis team and and they have said it nots mental health but def anxiety.

We have to go to her school tomorrow to speak to them and back to the psycharatrist tomorrow, he hopefully will tell us when she can start therapy. Sorry this isn't very coherent.

Does anyone have any advice, or been through similar?

We've always coped with her anxiety and now I'm devastated, I can't eat and I'm am constantly shaking.

I'm going shopping so will return to this later.

Thank you if you can offer any advice.

It seems to be a variety of thinks has set her off, she go a horrific chain email through Stardoll website, a young man hung himself from a bridge near us and just the news. We have sheltered her before and now she is in High Scchool she feels overwhelmed and upset that she can't 'fix' the world.

She is lovely, good, hardworking but a bit naive/immature. She's very bright but has a lot of Aspergers traits.

Please help me.

Buda Sun 08-Nov-09 12:40:39

I am sorry I don't have any advice but it must be so scary. I just didn't want this to go unanswered.

mollybob Sun 08-Nov-09 12:47:19

Hi - wanted to respond but have no real answers. I'm guessing we live quite close as you mention the bridge incident. That event and the media reaction has caused a great deal of upset to a lot of people. I'm really angry - even more so on your behalf.

If the CAMHS crisis team are saying it's anxiety then it is mental health. Don't understand that. CAMHS services have been through a rejig recently and should be better and more responsive so hope you get good care from them.

I'll investigate support groups etc and get back to you if I come up with anything. Are the school known for their pastoral care - if so they can be invaluable but all schools are not created equal.

Good luck x

mollybob Sun 08-Nov-09 12:59:03

OK -

Parents Advice Centre 0808 8010 722
CAUSE 0845 6030 291

Nothing else local I can find but will keep looking

Lulumama Sun 08-Nov-09 13:03:58

nothing practical to add except hope that she and you all get teh help and support that you need..... is there a crisis team you can contact via the GP or if you present at A&E

can't believe it does not fall under mental health.. what else is this sort of anxiety and suicidal thoughts??

do you have support from RL>

PixieOnaLeaf Sun 08-Nov-09 13:05:46

Message withdrawn

Flightattendant Sun 08-Nov-09 13:27:00

Oh golly coco sad

She sounds a bit like me at the same age

I have aspergers but nobody knew

I was helped by being prescribed a placebo drug to take when I got scared (think it was placebo, may have been beta blocker etc)

I also needed a lot of support and some time off school just getting bored at home

talking with my friends knowing some of them understood also helped as I felt safer then - having someone with me always, going into situations like assembly when I was too scared, really helped.

Not sure what else to suggest but her fears are very very real to her, people telling me it was silly didn't work, or there was nothing to be scared of - it didn't matter as my fear was irrational.

Actual explanations of WHY it wasn;t dangerous etc etc staved it off though, so if you know anyone with in depth knowledge of the things she's afraid of who can sympathetically talk her through it will reassure her greatly. She needs reassurance from a proper expert iyswim - that would have worked for me.

MitchyInge Sun 08-Nov-09 13:29:09

sorry you are going through this

have had similar experiences with daughter (now 17) from similar age - had to keep hammering on a lot of doors to get help and treatment and support

could you ask SS to assess her as a 'child in need' and poss get some extra help that way?

PixieOnaLeaf Sun 08-Nov-09 13:35:36

Message withdrawn

cocolepew Sun 08-Nov-09 14:44:49

Thank you. I think it does mean it's not an MH illness that schizophrenia or paranoia (which MIL has).

The team were very good, I've got in touch with the hospial she attends yearly for her NF in case there is a medical intervention that will help her. The school I think will be pretty good. She is under SENCO because she has a medical condition any way. I think because we took her to A and E it has set the wheels in motion much quicker than if we were waiting for a GP referal.

She worries about things that may never happen, for instance, she told me if she was bullied she'd think about killing herself because she read a list of signs to look out for if your DCs are being bullied., so by her reckoning you have to because it said so.

She's a negitive thinker, she tells me 'bad' things before anything good.

She has extreme emotions she will get over excited about nice things as well as the other extreme of unhappy.

I just hope her therapy can help her deal with this.

cocolepew Sun 08-Nov-09 14:49:48

BTW the website Stardoll is a very innocent site, all it is is dressing up 'celeb dolls' You can send messages to friends, we always check the sites she goes on and this seemed fine. Someone sent a story which was about someone killing her mum, her bf threw her in a lake and her ghost came up the plughole and slit his throat. If it wasn't passed on in 13 minutes something bad would happen to you. She saw this a few weeks ago but didn't tell me because she knew I'd ban her from it. On thursday i told he to have a shower and that's when it all happened. She wasn't saying voices were telling her to kill herself but an 'urge in her head' and she was scared she'd do it. Like it was out of her control.

cocolepew Sun 08-Nov-09 14:52:14

Flight I was wondering about betablockers, looking through the net it seems it's common for children to get these prescribed if they have anxiety with NF1.

We are going to look into getting a formal dx for Aspergers. I think it would help with her therapy choice.

Flightattendant Sun 08-Nov-09 16:55:10

Coco yes it may well help. I am just wondering what NF stands for, not heard it before?

Flightattendant Sun 08-Nov-09 16:58:09

Sorry, have just looked it up.
Just reading.

cocolepew Sun 08-Nov-09 16:58:46

Neurofibromatosis Type 1

cocolepew Sun 08-Nov-09 17:00:15

x post

Flightattendant Sun 08-Nov-09 17:07:23 looks a very complex condition sad

I'm sorry about my first post, I discounted the mention of her condition and responded as though her anxiety was out of the blue/possibly related to AS.

It sounds as though it is caused by the NF1 itself in which case I think medical management of that might help it to ease...I am so sorry you are going through this.

I hope she will have access to the therapy very quickly. Is she having any other treatments for the physical aspects?

cocolepew Sun 08-Nov-09 17:15:25

She only goes every 2 years to the hospital to have her size, head measurement and blood pressure taken. She hasn't any educational needs just emotional. I work with children with Autism so I recognise it in her. I contacted the NF co ordinator from the hospital and she had sent some info to be passed on to the school in September, Drs are only now making a connection with ASD and NF it's mainly been thought to be ADHD.

The list of complications with NF is endless but some people have it without realising it.

Thank you for your input and concern it has helped smile

Flightattendant Sun 08-Nov-09 17:21:07

Oh I wish I could help properly. Good luck tomorrow x

cocolepew Sun 08-Nov-09 19:07:37

Can I bump in case anyone has any experience of their child seeing a therapist?


cocolepew Sun 08-Nov-09 19:37:23


tinks77 Sun 08-Nov-09 21:58:03

I am so sorry your family is going through this at the moment and really hope you find the answers you need. My eldest son started experiencing similar and was diagnosed with acute anxiety and obbsessive compulsive disorder at the age of 10, he's now 14. he started thinking that he had caused or was somehow responsible for any negative thing he saw/heard/read/witnessed.... My gp referred us to the child and family mental health services who we had weekly meetings with. its so distressing for the child going through it and also the relatives. I know i felt completely powerless and just didnt know what to do. i think maybe try your gp for an urgent refferal. Am concerned that turning up at A&E may cause her more distress as she will be understandably frightened herself and of what she is thinking/feeling/experiencing but obviously that said, ultimatley you are her parent and if you feel its in the interest of her own safety and dont know what else to do, then go to the hospital. they can probably sort a referral if necessary. thinking of you and your family x

cocolepew Mon 09-Nov-09 07:56:55

Thank you for answering Tinks. We have already been at a and e, the out of hours Dr got in touch with the mental health (adult) teamand it was at their suggestion. We're see the psychatrist today hopefully he will have the theraphy set up.

I hope your son is feeling better in himself now.

dollyparting Mon 09-Nov-09 13:32:02

I so hope that you and your dd get the help you need.

My dd had therapy for depression some years ago. She was self-harming and felt suicidal. We were very, very lucky in that we had a fantastic adolescent psychiatry unit near us. The people were wonderful and it was a lovely new building - lots of glass ceilings, and very bright and clean. Even when we all felt low, the building seemed full of light, and that helped a little.

DD found some of the talking therapies difficult. For someone who chronically shy, being the focus of attention and having to talk about herself was not easy. At times I think she felt under pressure to give "the right answer", but as I said the staff were fantastic and she got through it.

I found it very difficult to get support for myself in real life. DD didn't like to report back and tell us what was going on, and for a while I could only be relaxed when I knew exactly where dd was, and I could see how her mood was. When she wasn't with my, i felt I could never be sure she was still alive. Sorry if that sounds dramatic, but I guess you will understand some of those feelings.

I did not have many friends that I could tell, and there was no help from charities like parentline. I was not on mn then, and I hope that at least here you can get some support and some ideas.

BTW, dd is fine now. She has grown up, learned many coping strategies and has a good job and is in a lovely relationship.

cocolepew Mon 09-Nov-09 13:36:46

Thank you for sharing your story dolly I'm so glad your DD is better.

We are just waiting to go this afternoon, the waiting and not knowing what's going to happen is awful. DD had asked for "someone to help me" on that night so I hope she will receptive to therapy.

I do have people to talk to and I am seeing my Dr on Thursday but it's hard to keep talking about it. It helps me to, but in other aspects I just want it to go away.

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