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I am am at my wits end with dp.Help

(5 Posts)
MavisEnderby Fri 06-Nov-09 22:25:18

He has a chronic illness that cannot be cured and is prone to chest infections and urine infections.

He currently has a ci.

HE IS STILL SMOKING

despite me getting angry/tearful with him to no avail.

despite me pleading with him to give up,even if not for me for his 2 children

He says i can't force him to give up as he will do it in his own time

it is heartbreaking seeing him have a cig and then go straight for his nebuliser

it is getting me down.

surely he sees the foolishness.

yes he is depressed and i am trying to make allowances

but surely he can see what it is doing to him?ds was in tears the other day.daddy is smoking again.

i feel so angry and helpless.he will not accept any help

he is a stubborn contrary bugger.

selfish selfish selfish

ive had enough

what to do.

Ivykaty44 Sat 07-Nov-09 20:34:23

This is so hard - to be in such a position that you have to give up...

Somking is worse than heroine for addiction.

Ask him to wrote down on a piece of paper why he has just had a ciggy ater smoking each one?

Nothing judgemental or harsh just a smile request to put in writing why he is actually doing it

Whether he liked it how it tasted, whether it made him feel better, worse.

racmac Sat 07-Nov-09 21:20:13

Buy him the Alan Carr - the only way to quit smoking - it worked for me.

Other than that no idea sorry - it must be tough

libbygrayhair Sat 07-Nov-09 21:45:08

What are his feelings about nicotine replacements? I know how difficult it is to kick the habit, but I'm currently looking at electronic cigarettes. I had tried something similar a number of years ago, but those weren't particularly effective. I know that there is the need for the oral experience as well as ease of delivery of the nicotine hit, and I didn't get the latter. There was a thread here about e-cigarettes not too long ago, but I can't find it now.

I can only speak about my own experience as a smoker, but maybe he could be tempted by the idea of something that looks exactly like a cigarette but isn't. Apparently, users of e-cigarettes "light up" in bars, etc. as it seems that these aren't covered by the smoking legislation as there isn't any smoke involved at all. That might appeal to a stubborn contrary bugger.

Unfortunately, they're a bit expensive in terms of the initial cost.

jybay Sun 08-Nov-09 12:10:41

Sorry to say this but, until he decides to quit, you are wasting your time trying to persuade him. I have worked with lots of addicts of all sorts and it's heart-breaking to see the effects of the addiction on their families, but nothing works until the addict himself makes the decision to stop.

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