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Question about HIV

(51 Posts)
helpsoscared Wed 15-Jun-05 19:00:25

I am a regular poster, I promise, but I've changed my name for obvious reasons. Someone will probably guess who I am but I don't care, just didn't want to post under my usual name.

I have been celebite since pregnancy with my third child,now 2, and felt great, much better than when I was with my ex.

Anyway, he turned up a few months ago and started seeing the children, but has been putting lots of pressure on me to have sex. He is very persuasive, and I eventually caved in. I didn't have full sex with him but gave him oral sex

Two weeks later I got a bad sore throat. I went to the STD clinic and the doctor looked. He said as my tonsils were inflamed he thought it probably wasn't an STD, just a normal throat infection. He gave me Amoxycillan. I have been on it 5 days now and feel no better. I feel like I have flu but am not sneezing, just shivery and not quite right. I also have a headache.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm making myself feel like this, I have convinced myself now that I have HIV and can not forgive what I have done to my children. I felt so clean and happy when I was on my own and now I feel dirty and diseased.

I have looked it up on the web and apparantly with HIV, you can get flu like symptons 2-4 weeks after becoming infected.

Can anyone tell me honestly what the chances of becoming infected with HIV are after one episode of oral sex (the job was completed, if you know what I mean)

I feel so disgusting and ashamed. I know it's no excuse but he is a very controlling person. I find it hard to stand up to him.

I'm pretty sure he has not injected drugs but he has been with ALOT of women. He is what some may call 'a player'

I know no one can really put my mind at risk and I will have to wait 3 months + for a test but just wanted to share how horrible I feel.

helpsoscared Wed 15-Jun-05 19:03:33

Sorry, my post was not clear, the incident happened 3-4 weeks ago, although he has been coming to see the children for several months

hercules Wed 15-Jun-05 19:05:20

No advice but a big hug [] [] []

Mud Wed 15-Jun-05 19:05:38

slim chance but not impossible

but you certainly wouldn't be experiencing AIDS symptoms (which is what you seem to have convinced yourself you have) within 3 - 4 weeks of contact

if really worried get an HIV test -- personally I'd take the whole course of anti-biotics then go back to doc and get a stronger prescription

happymerryberries Wed 15-Jun-05 19:06:07

What you must do is talk this over with people who are properly qualified. they will be able to put your risk (whatever it is) into context.

In all probability you have flu, or some other minor virus.

I have checked these facts in the past (before I have taught a lesson on HIV). The terrance Higgins trust put the rate of HIV assumed to be cause via oral sex (being on the receiving end) as 8%. But people realise that this isn't 8% where all the people only had one episode of unprotected oral sex.

I hope this helps, but you are better talking to people who are better qualified as they will be much better at putting your mind at rest

Lonelymum Wed 15-Jun-05 19:07:22

I have just googled how HIV is transmitted and got a website which I can't copy and paste for you (it won't let me) but it says the risk of getting HIV through oral sex, especially if you don't swallow the semen, is pretty low.

Bellie Wed 15-Jun-05 19:07:44

I think the chance of catching through oral sex is very slim. Get yourself tested to put your mind at rest. However I think that you need to have a stronger prescription of antibiotics too as it sounds as you have an infection of some description - unlikely to be related to HIV this quickly I think

Pennies Wed 15-Jun-05 19:08:35

I am not a docotr but have had training in HIV / AIDS issues and have a vague knowledge about transmission issues.

It is very unlikely that you have caught HIV through your encounter, although if you had an ulcer or open cut in your mouth when it happened it would not be impossible for transmission to occur.

I hope this does not scare you or make you feel worse, if it's any consolation exactly the same thing happened to me (tho it was a burst condom) but I got a really bad sore throat and flu symptoms and I was convinced it was HIV. Didn't have the guts to get tested until years later when I was pregnant - I was fine BTW.

spagblog Wed 15-Jun-05 19:09:58

How horrible to be feeling like this. I think the only way that you are going to be able to put your mind to rest is to have the HIV test...Sorry.
It is probably just an unlucky co-incidence.

anchovies Wed 15-Jun-05 19:11:19

Isn't the 8% the percentage of people with HIV who got it through oral sex? Different to the actual likelihood of being infected through unprotected oral sex I think? Think the chances of getting HIV through one incident of unprotected oral sex are much lower.

helpsoscared Wed 15-Jun-05 19:12:39

I really appreciate all your replies. Just helps to know people are there. I just feel so disgusting, it would almost be easier if it had of been sex, at least I might feel more able to talk to people about it. I hate myself so having put myself in this situation.
I just feel like the unluckiest person alive, not making excuses for myself, but I have not had any sex of any kind for 2 years.
Do you think it is possible to make yourself feel like this?
Thankyou for the information on the percentages, and thankyou for sharing your experience with me Pennies, kind of makes me feel better in a strange way, to know someone else has been through this

Slave2Babe Wed 15-Jun-05 19:13:07

I dont really know what to say other than to send you (((((HUGS)))) and hope that others can share some reassuring words.

Please don't torture yourself ...

helpsoscared Wed 15-Jun-05 19:13:33

anchovies, do you know, does it make a difference then how many times?

happymerryberries Wed 15-Jun-05 19:14:05

Yes, I did try to explain that. 8% of people with HIV believe that they got it via oral sex. But these are not cases where people had a single case of oral sex and caught HIV as a result.

happymerryberries Wed 15-Jun-05 19:16:29

Sosacre, honestly it is much more likely that this is something trival. It isn't realy possible to say one case of oral sex = x amount of risk. In general it is probably less likley to get HIV via oral sex as there is less chance that the virus will get into the blood stream (vagina sex can cause small abrasions in the wall of the vagina)

helpsoscared Wed 15-Jun-05 19:19:55

Does it have to get in to the blood stream or just into the body? I am a bit un clear about that. I really didn't know that there was any risk with oral sex, as I thought your stomach acid killed the semen, making it safer to swallow than to spit out, but I have worried myself sick now thinking about it. I probably wouldn't feel like this if it wasn't for the sore throat etc

happymerryberries Wed 15-Jun-05 19:20:05

have a look at this

and take into account that they say there is only a small risk


JustThinking Wed 15-Jun-05 19:20:34

Message withdrawn

anchovies Wed 15-Jun-05 19:24:39

8 people out of 100 who have HIV got in from oral sex

This isn't the same as 100 people have oral sex, 8 become infected

Think the risk per contact is estimated to be less than 0.4% (less than 1 in 200 people)

So very very unlikely for you.

Make another appointment, that's what the clinics are there for.

Aragon Wed 15-Jun-05 19:24:51

Oh hun, try not to get too worked up. This is highly, highly unlikely to be HIV. It's far more likely to be a virus of some description - there's loads of these about at the moment and they don't respond to antibiotics.

If at all possible don't scare yourself anymore by surfing the web and symptom spotting - you'll only terrify yourself half to death. Symptom checking on the internet never gives you anything very positive. The risk of transmission via oral sex is very, very low. I suspect you are feeling so bad about this ancounter with your ex that you're almost punishing yourself by thinking all these dreadful thoughts. Don't - he pressured you and it's hard to resist that kind of controlling pressure.

Believe me - this will be a normal and yucky virus of the kind we all get from time to time. It's just coincidence that you've got it at this time. You'd probably have had the sore throat no matter what.

helpsoscared Wed 15-Jun-05 19:25:23

JustThinking, I'm so sorry that happened to you.
I know, it is awful. I just feel so disgusted with myself and wish I could have been stronger and said no, like I wanted to. I feel I have let my children down.

helpsoscared Wed 15-Jun-05 19:26:54

Thankyou Aragon x

JustThinking Wed 15-Jun-05 19:28:14

Message withdrawn

anonforthis Wed 15-Jun-05 19:28:27

I always get a sore throat after oral sex. It irritates the lining of my throat and it becomes inflamed.

helpsoscared Wed 15-Jun-05 19:30:01

No, JustThinking, I didn't mean that. What happened to you was totally different. I am so sorry, I really hope your result is -
Did you have STD testing afterwards?

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