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health anx bad again help ..

(13 Posts)
mumof2000 Mon 26-Oct-09 21:52:22

having a bad anxtious time at moment ....sad
went to mole clinic 3 weeks ago they did mole maping on my body all fine , saw dermatologist doc to who looked at me then my face said was fine , only now worried he missed one on face as was wearing bit make up ..and they didnt scan my face , i noticed one freckle/blemish on face got a little deeper in colour , now this could of happened over time rather that night as i do wear make up all the time ,and dont really look a my face that much , now keep tuning in on it every day thinking its bad ... i looked back at some pics 2 years ago it was there then but not so noticable ...do freckles get darker/bigger with age ? im worried sick , its not sore /black /jagged edge it seems to be one colour hard to tell useing mag glass quite hard to see ...my friend says tthey do come out in different colour pigent as you get older ..

anyone els got any knowlage of this ...ot to scary please .

will maybe pone clinic tomorrow see what they say ..

kcartyparty Mon 26-Oct-09 23:25:31

I have lots of moles.

I am now 41 and yes they can get darker with age. And sometimes larger.

Look out for - changing shape, one side bigger than other and itchiness.

Moles that were never there before, that have large lump UNDER the brown raised mole need to be watched.

If your really worried, go back for check-up

hope this helps

mumof2000 Tue 27-Oct-09 06:42:54

thank you KP , my anx runnning away with me big time now so the only thing to do is go again i think ..

i did go to doc a month or so ago showed her she looked at it with mag glass said all looked ok , trouble is with HA is then i read something see something on TV then puts doubt in my head again ,maybe they missed something etc ...and after i saw doc wasnt to worried but went to clinic as i have others i wanted looking at ,so didnt mention one on my face ,but hoping as the nurse doing the scan was looking at me she would have noticed if something was looking bit odd ...also then seen by dermatologist doctor who looked at all moles on body then looked at my face , again hoping if he saw something standing out would have noticed it ..i mean thats his job right ? any how still loosing sleep over it as anxiety bad at moment ,

will call clinic today to talk to the nurse who scanned me and see what she says ...

thanks for listening to rant ..

littlejo67 Tue 27-Oct-09 10:04:16

Felt i really needed to respond to you as I could sense the panic in your post.
I have had HA, its now under control, but always there.
Whenever I get panic over a perceived symptom I try and ground myself by telling myself its the H.A and that I dont have a dire disease. I realise its really hard to do when the fear grips you and you feel really scared.
I now think that for me H.A was not the primary problem. I always thought it was `causing the anxiety`. I now think it is the other `stuff` in my life that I have not worked through. This emotional stuff I have squashed down is finding a channel through manifesting as H.A.
So H.A is a symptom of something else not the main problem causing the symptoms. Hope you can understand what I am trying to say. For me I reflected on my life and could see why the H.A manifested. This helped alot. This understanding helped normalise what I was experiencing and took some of the anxiety away.
I can empathise with what you are going through. Believing you have a terrible disease is exhausting and terrifying.I would like to offer to you the advice to explore the source of this anxiety with a counsellor if you have not done so already. I did - I felt I had nothing to loose but everything to gain. Also check out the site nomorepanic.co.uk it has a helpful section on H.A. It helped me when I saw others were going through the same.

mumof2000 Tue 27-Oct-09 15:31:49

Thanks little ....
please tell me how did you over come /manage your HA ?
i am truly feed up with it now been like this for 3 years , its a vicious circle for me ..i get over one thing then to replace it with another ...always health ..sad....i always think worst case senario to im not normally such a negative person ...but with m health i do go to the extreame ....

I have never thought of underlying issues could be causing my anx but i guess it could be ...hmm

i spoke to clinic regarding my mole and shes sure t is ok , as she said only she only saw me 3 weeks ago and doc would have noticed it ..so i really hope so hmmbut will see me tomorrow to put my mind at rest .

what els have you doe to help your anx ..

littlejo67 Tue 27-Oct-09 18:50:10

I have gone from one medical thing to another- going to the Dr thinking I have bowel cancer, breast cancer, thyroid disease etc. Then i went through a phase of worrying about HIV even though I new in my rational side it was highly unlikely.Its the irrational part that throws these negative thoughts at me. I struggle to engage the rational part. I suppose its time which has helped. After a year I realised that my symptoms had not got worse and were probably what the Doc said all along and not bowel cancer.Even when the Dr said I was ok I struggled to believe them. It was a negative spiral - they may have got it wrong I thought. My anxiety was fuelling my symptoms.Chest pain was anxiety and not heart disease.I saw a pattern in my behaviour and went for counselling. The counsellor told me that the H.A was a symptom of underlying anxiety and that it finds an outlet through me worrying about my health. I am still prone to negative thoughts,thats quite normal. I now deal with them differently. I see them for what they are just negative thoughts and not intuition that I am dying! I talk to myself to switch on the rational part of my brain. I also breathe slowly and relax. I have had it for 2 years but its under control now as I understand myself better. I too am a calm coping sort of person so I was taken by surprise. I did not recognise myself for a bit.

mumof2000 Tue 27-Oct-09 19:03:07

Thanks little ,
i couldn't have said it any better myself ...THAT is exactly how i feel and have felt .....its a total vicious circle ....iv done the BC thing to didnt believe my doctor so after months of worry refured myself to specialist underwent some not so nice tests blush to discover i have IBS which was what the doctor diagnosed to start with .... and then iv moved onto other things ......

glad your coping a bit better now ...did you have CBT or couceling ? iv heard can be good .

littlejo67 Tue 27-Oct-09 20:06:15

mum,
I had a couple of CBT and then was refered to a psychodynamic counsellor at the Dr`s. They could also be a Person Centred Counsellor it doesnt matter. It was a space to explore where the H.A came from and talk about how it effects you. Your self awareness grows as you recognise patterns in your behaviour.Cbt gives you coping skills but does not look at the cause. I wanted to look deeper hoping it would eliminate it completely. Now sometimes I still hear my H.A talking to me but I can understand and cope better. You say you then move onto other things - I can relate to that. As soon as one anxiety is sorted I replaced it with another or didnt have faith in the Drs. I gave my mind an MOT with a Counsellor.Its a positive thing. People have counselling when they dont have any issues - just to stay emotionally healthy. Though you would have to find a private counsellor for that. The NHs is more reactive that Pro- active!!

mumof2000 Tue 27-Oct-09 20:19:15

thanks , did see a counselor a bit last year , but to be honest i dont think he was the right kind ...and after a few weeks and on the days i felt together i didnt find it any good , i now drift from hypnosis , yoga , and internet , reading health anx books .

Dont think i could get any other counseling on NHS again , maybe i could look into private .

Trouble is also i know im in denial to as on the rare occasion im ok hmmish i think im ok and better ....(yea right ) till the next HA wave comes along .... then im in bits , hence im off again to clinic tomorrow , mind talk set in and wont go away ...grrrrr

wearetheangrymob Tue 27-Oct-09 20:33:45

i suffer too and its an awful thing when the doctor tells me im ok my symptoms usually disappear almost immediatly but i only go to the docs if somethings been worryingme for a while im always convinced i have cancer and google obsessivly and even when im told i dont the euphoria of being ok soon fades when i think to myself but one day it WILL be cancer its a viscious circle

mumof2000 Tue 27-Oct-09 20:49:41

yep ....wearetheangrymob....im the same ....

very hard for others to understand ....only the other day a neighbour who i thought understood, more or less told me to buck my ideas up and get on with life ...
i then went inside my house and cried my eyes out for hours ....
when i get like this it is so real , just because theres no phsical symptoms people find it hard to sympathise ..(sorry such bad spelling im quite tired )

I google to really shouldnt .....and visits to doc as you said is only shot lived till the next bout of worry ...

Have you tried any thing to help you ?

wearetheangrymob Tue 27-Oct-09 20:57:12

mumof2000 no i havnt tried anything doctors arent really aware i have it as i only go to docs as i said after ive struggled with my symptoms for quite a while i know its not the case but i dont want them to know in case they think nutter !!! i am perfectly ok in all other aspects its just this ha doing my head in i know its probably coming from other things in my life but theres nothing i can do to change the other things they are permanent if you see what i mean

mumof2000 Tue 27-Oct-09 21:04:59

i do see , and i know what you mean about not wanting them to think your nutts ... lol although im sure mine do ...as im always there ...although they are very good ...but im sure they must think ..oh know not her again ..when they see me in the waiting room...grin

But i just cant seem to help myself ...

Doc want to put me on low AD which i refuse as i think i can get through this myself (she says on a good day) ..
Distraction is the key to ... and i also just started to write lists as iv heard that is good , as i feel more in control of i do things and tick them off if you see what i mean ...pro active not just worrying ..

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