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Oh My Bloody God. That's It. I'm Getting The Breadknife Out!
I'd say you should go for a bottle and a half. Drink it quite fast, but not fast enough to make yourself sick.
Alternatively, if you want to make it look legitinmately medical, get a box of Namaqua Soft Red, hack open the cardboard, pull out the bag, and mount it on a cobbled-together "drip stand" with a length of piping coming out of it and taped to the side of your face.