My mother is having a hysterectomy :(

[frakkinpannikin]

She had 3 C-sections, the last one nearly 20 years ago, is nearly 60 and in fairly good health. I will be around to help out for 2 months.

What can I do?
How can I help her through this?
Is there anything that she will find really helpful that I should get in place?
How long is she likely to be in hospital for?

She isn't really talking much about it to me, I don't know if she's talking to anyone else. I think she's in denial rather, but this has come as a bit of a shock!

[Ivykaty44]

My mum had one and was in hospitla for about 3-4 days and then back at work in 4 weeks she was three years younger at the time.

Help was lifting and carrying, cleaning and a bit of irnoning.

[BonsoirAnna]

My mother had a hysterectomy about 18 months ago.

You basically need to relieve your mother of all physical exertion. Rest is vital. And then of course, because she will be very bored, you must entertain her!

[Northernlurker]

It is a big op but very routinely done and depending of course on the reason for the op, I think many women feel much, much better afterwards having endured grim symptoms up to that point.

this looks like a useful site

[frakkinpannikin]

Thanks everyone! It's good to hear that she'll feel better after the op and I'll do as much as I can.

[bibbitybobbityhat]

My step mother and mil have both had hysterectomies in the past year. They were both 62. They had keyhole surgery (whatever that means). Step mother recovered very quickly, mil had complications, but that is entirely predictable given their respective personalities.

One aspect, aside from the physical, that your mum may feel is the sudden loss of her "femininity" and the absolute closing of the door on her fertile childbearing years. This can be very hard to come to terms with, no matter what the woman's age, even if she is way past menopause.

[Wonderstuff]

It depends on the op, my mum had a radical op, tummy cut and everythng out. It seems many women have a vaginal op and overies left in place which is a faster recovery.

My mum had a book recommended called 'how to have a happy hysterectomy' which she found reassuring.

Mum was really washed out for a few weeks, wanted people to visit but not stay long because she was so tired. She found eating difficult for a while, lots of v. small plain meals were needed.

[frakkinpannikin]

My mother is having a radical - through her old horizontal C-section scar, which I think will mean healing is going to take longer.

The eating thing is good to know.

I've worked with new mothers post C-section but I think this will be very different!

[Wonderstuff]

It seems similar but different to a c-section iykwim. Some things were the same, like having to wait 6 weeks to drive, but it took a long time to feel better, she had really awful indigestion and wind for a couple of weeks, her tummy needed to settle down after being moved during the op. She was totally washed out for about 3 weeks, also a bit depressed, which apparently was a side effect of the general anesthtic.

She was still taking painkillers a year on. She says now, about 18 months later that if she doesn't exercise for a couple of weeks her tummy becomes painful. She had a hard time pursuading her doctor to prescribe hrt (she was 55), but it definitly made her feel better.

It was definitly the right thing for her, she had an awful time before with early menopause for years and then a 'sinister' ovarian growth.