"Older" mum feeling very fed up and let down with her "strange" body !!!

[Catsmother]

Hi all .... I've only recently discovered this site (and could almost have cried when I did, realising there are other frazzled mums like me, but that's another topic ....) and, for my very first post I'm going to totally embarrass myself by owning up to my very "disloyal" body. What I'm hoping for of course, is that someone will respond, saying "I know just what you mean ..." ! Hope I've put it in the right place ?

I'm 40 years old (I mean young, of course) and a mum of two. A teenage "Kevin" aged 15 and a daughter aged 20 months.

I've always looked younger than my age and enjoy playing the guessing game with people who don't know me .... "how old do you think I am ?" I must also admit to feeling quite smug at getting pregnant at 38 with no trouble.

However .... and finally getting to the point, I've felt so "let down" by my body ever since having my baby girl. There I am thinking I can still be "trendy" (with a bit of effort) and scrub up not too badly - and there's my body doing all sorts of strange things I don't like.

Aside from how difficult it is to lose the baby weight (know that's an ageless problem) I now find that I have very dodgy hips which always ache even if I go for a short walk (like, a mile or 2) and perpetual & painful acid heartburn (doesn't matter what I eat, I have it most of every day). My periods are now really heavy to the point of being potentially embarassing and my hands also keep seizing up - almost like the joints lock and I have to "unfold" my fingers - this happens when I'm gardening, or cleaning for example. On top of that, I probably have the most frightful "teenage" skin I've ever had since being a real teenager - not loads of spots, but those I do have are deep and nasty, and on my chin and jaw, not to mention my back. The very worst thing though is that I seem to be sprouting extra hair all over the place !!! and double My top lip is distinctly fuzzier and I am at the mirror with the tweezers daily (I'm sure no-one wants to hear about the horror which is my bikini line). On several occasions I have gone to brush off what I've thought was a loose hair (from my head) and to my horror, found it was a great long (about 4/5 inches !!!) singular and attached hair growing in the middle of nowhere ! .... like, out the side of my neck, the back of my ear and the base of my spine.

At this point, I feel like crawling away and hibernating in a cave

Seriously, I just can't believe what my body is doing to me - it's like it's saying "wake up kiddo, you are getting older, so there". Okay, so everyone gets a few spots now and again and I got bad heartburn throughout being pregnant, but I had none of this stuff before I had my daughter.

Am I being a complete hypochondriac, or an hysterical old biddy for that matter, or must us "girls" in their 40s accept things like these as inevitable decline ?

My partner keeps telling me I should go to the doctor but at this rate I'll need to take a "shopping list" with me so I don't forget all the symptoms.

Please, someone, tell me I'm not alone !

(Oh - and thanks for trawling through this mammoth post)

[Nightynight]

I got the heavy periods. They stopped after the next pregnancy. Since my last baby, Ive also had the heartburn - I agree, it makes you feel about 60
Ive heard about the hair thing before - isn't is hormone shifts? Anyway, you can get it treated Im sure.
Dont lie down before advancing years girl !!! fight them!

[KatieMac]

Do go to the Dr's and take your 'shopping list' with you

I don't have any specialist knowledge - but it sounds hormonal - good luck

[Nightynight]

Seriously, with a list of symptoms like that, Id definitely go to the doctor, and persist if necessary til I found one who could help.

[WigWamBam]

Catsmother, I'm 42 with a 4 year old, and the woman you are describing is me

It might be worth a trip to the GP, as thyroid problems can cause trouble with periods, skin changes and extra hairiness.

Welcome to MumsNet, and don't worry - no-one here will bother in the slightest if you're lumpy, bumpy, spotty and hairy.

[tamum]

Poor you. Definitely see a doctor and try and maybe get a referral to an endocrinologist if you can. I'm sure this can be treated.

[zaphod]

I'm 42, and have a ds around the same age as your dd, but except for the heavy periods, have none of the same symptoms. I really think you should go to the dr, what have you got to lose?

[KristinaM]

Hi catsmother and welcome to mumsnet.I'm not sure this is the kind of post you want to read....but I'm a few years older than you and have two kids under 6 and I'm pregnant and i dont have any of the symptoms you mention ( well I realise that I wouldnt expect to have heavy periods!!!!!)

Sorry, this isn't meant to sound like I'm gloating, just not sure if your problems are just due to your age and being a mum. Do you think you could possibly have an undiagnosed medical problem? Some sort of thyroid or hormone inbalance? See what other MNers suggest , but I wonder if your partner is right about you going to the GP?

[JoolsToo]

agree with everyone - doctors for you girl!

[KristinaM]

LOL sobernow

[assumedname]

Rofl Sobernow.

Catsmother - I have some of the symptoms you're describing (not saying which ones!).

I've put them down to my advanced age of 44.

[Catsmother]

Thanks everyone .... maybe I should get to the docs, but am genuinely worried at going in and in reply to the "what can I do for you" question, coming out with "well, there's this and this, and this, and this, and this, and I almost forgot, this as well !"

WigWam, you've just found my epitaph - "here lies catsmother, lumpy, bumpy, spotty and hairy "

[Catsmother]

Yikes - forgot to mention the brown spots on the back of hands !!!!

[tamum]

I think the doctor would be pleased to hear a comprehensive list to be honest- save him or her having to wheedle it all out of you, and it is all sounding like a checklist for hormone problems at the moment. Good luck (I have a few brown spots too, aargh)

[mancmum]

Hi! I am 40 and have a 2 year old plus a five year old... and have quite a few of the things you mention...I don't think it is any more than our age ... I was worried about the stiff fingers a ew days ago and mentioned it to my friends... all acknowledged the need to unroll fingers and joints in the morning..!!

I reckon that 40s are just going to have to be the maintenance years -- even for those of us who never had to do anything to lose weight/ look good..

I now have to spend time looking presentable... body brushing is good for lumps, I swear by L'oeral micro dermabrasion and SPF 15 for clear skin... have had to cut back on food and step up exercise to gain any sort of control on weight... am now at last below baby weight but it did take 2 years... gone are the days when I could flatten stomach over night just by not drinking 3 pints of lager!! Suncream on hands should stop brown live spots...

My bikini line is more like a reforestation project in South America -- no wax could cope with it...

I try not to worry about it cos when I was younger/slimmer/ spot and hair free I did not have my wonderful DH/DS/DD and I know I would rather be hairy and spotty and with them than without!!

[anniebear]

Go to the DR'S and copy what you have put here, that way he can read it !

[aloha]

You could have a hormonal imbalance which would explain the hair, periods etc.
Do go to your dr - often when you list all your symptoms you can see how they add up.
Years ago I went to my gp with heavy, endless periods, agonising backache, severe sudden cramps in my side, tiredness etc etc and I had cysts on my ovaries.
I'm nearly 42 with a three year old and a four month old, and don't have your symptoms at all so you needn't say, 'oh, it is my age.

[flobbleflobble]

My GP is of the "what do you expect at your age" mindset so be prepared to fight and have persisitance to get this sorted out - but hopefully your GP will be more sympathetic. It should all be fixable even if not necessarily 100% so please get some help and don't just grin and bear it!!!#
The Mirena coil is often recommended for heavy periods.

[motherinferior]

I agree (in a somewhat sycophantic manner) with Tamum - it all sounds as if it adds together IYSWIM. Definitely not just 'getting older'. I am 42 and don't have your symptoms. Admittedly I do have a slight hangover but that's because it is in fact my birthday today

[Catsmother]

Thanks again to all those who've replied. I am going to have to bite the bullet re: GP aren't I ?

[Freckle]

Well, I'm a few (and then some) years older than you with an 11, 9 and 7 year old and, although I have some of the symptoms you describe (yes, more facial hair, brown spots, aching joints on occasions - particularly creaking knees) and may have others that you don't, I think the combination you describe is worth getting checked out at the drs.

I remember going to see my gp about something in late 1999 and being told, with a grin, "Well, Mrs. Freckle, it may be that you are approaching your own Millennium!". Gee thanks . It was something and nothing. Your problems may all be down to age combined with post-partum hormones, but it would be nice to hear that from a professional.

[Cam]

Happy Birthday motherinferior!! Should have guessed you were a Gemini (mine's on Tuesday)

Catmother, I must admit I did feel somewhat rapidle aged after having dd2 (and an even bigger gap between my 2 than you have).

I think some of it is postnatal tiredness, toddlerhood is exhausting for us 40 somethings isn't it, but apart from slightly heavier periods and brown spotty hands I haven't had your symptoms.

Agree that you could run these things past your GP.

[rummum]

I think I could have written this post... except my children are now older.. I have just turned 40 and:
I now get PMT...

My hips also ache after a long walk.. in fact even sitting during a long car drive...

Heavy periods... I went to the doctors and got some tablets to lighten the flow... brilliant... the doctor said it could be fibroids and offered me a hysterectomy.... that made me feel old!

I have so many hairs sprouting out of my chin/lip that I pluck almost daily...

and as for nasal hair... I have just started trimming that...

if you go to the doctors do tell us how you get on...

Rummum

[Pinotmum]

Yes I've the chin/lip hair problem though the spots are definitely improving after a year on diannette. Getting up straight after bathing the kids definitely takes longer than it used to. I've had the made stray hair as well; one was at the bottom of my back and one was in the centre of my forehead. My eyebrow hair has gone mental - long, curly ones, that are turning blond (not grey I insist, sniff). I can't eat a meal after 8pm or I'll be up with indigestion. Oh god I'll stop now as I'm feeling depressed. You are not alone but I'm not 40 till November. Sob

[motherinferior]

I honestly don't think it's 'just age'. Not just because I am, ahem, somewhat older than 40 myself, but also because I think there are lots of things which are ascribed to age and/or having had a baby which turn out to be perfectly solvable. Especially with women, whose bodies are just assumed, far too often, to fall apart post-partum and/or pre-menopause (my partner's mum was told 'you're being a silly old woman' and turned out to have quite severe osteoporosis). Meaning that those of use who embarked on the Glorious Adventure of Motherhood at a somewhat more advanced age get blamed both ways...when it's probably perfectly treatable.

Welcome to Mumsnet, by the way!