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Please someone make me feel better about my skin after weight loss

(15 Posts)
ShrinkingOrSinking Mon 17-Aug-09 14:53:27

Hve namechanged so that I can talk freely about this.

I weigh 23 stone. I have ended up this way due to food addiction. I thas taken many, many attempts but I feel like I have reached a turning point where I just cant/wont go on like this any more.

The real me is healthy, happy, active, out-doorsy, respectful of food as a fuel etc. Things really have clicked into place mentally for me and the results are starting to show.

This is all good, but Lately, the past week or so it has hit me that I will NEVER be normal. I can get to a healthy wieght but I will always have a body that is disfigured, severely so in all likelihood. Even at the weight I am my skin sags and hangs.

This is something I always knew but I really see it now vividly, I know that surgery is an option and have done some research but the before and after results have left me feeling worse - yes excess skin is removed which must be a relief but the bodies are still misshapen, disfigured and, imo, ugly.

This has really hit me like a ton of bricks - I have spent the last week like a zombie, I'm just floored by the reality of it. I want to cry but I cant, the inevitability of it, the fact that this is how I'll be leaves me too numb to even do that.

I am doing all this - and I will continue, it doesnt diminish my will to lose the weight - knowing that the best I have ahead of me is looking passable in clothes, with the help of industrial undies.

I will never in my life take my clothes off and have someone find me attractive. I will never not be disgusted by myself. I am 30 years old ffs sad

AMumInScotland Mon 17-Aug-09 15:00:49

Sorry if I'm speaking from near-total ignorance here, but will it not be possible with exercise, toning etc to get your body back to a shape you'll be happy with? A colleague has lost a huge amount of weight ( I think through a gastric band or similar) and she looks fine to me - thinner than I am and a very "normal" shpae. Admittedly I only see her fully clothed.... but I can't imagine she's an odd shape underneath.

akhems Mon 17-Aug-09 15:16:22

I know how you feel. I,ve lost 10 stone and have quite a bit of loose skin. No amount of exercise will shift it. If you haven't lost and gained often in the past then your skin might have more elasticity than mine plus you're younger and I've been told the skin shrinks for 2 years after your weight stabilises.

I'm looking into reconstructive surgery as there are some fantastic surgeons who can achieve miracles lol

Do lots of research is the best I can suggest.

Sorry for bad typing, wrote this on my phone.

ShrinkingOrSinking Mon 17-Aug-09 17:33:20

Absolute best case scenario - I lose every last ounce of excess fat, I excercise religiously and build muscle tone, the fact is my skin will be loose/wrinkled/crepey. I t is already and thats with all this extra fat plumping it out. I have very poor elasticity. I am alreadt eating and training in a way recommended to help lose fat and strengthen/ tone muscles. i'm absolutely doing whatever it takes to give my body the best chance.
I would love someone to tell me its possible for me to have a normal body at the end of this - I honestly dont believe I can. I know that sounds very self-pitying but I'm being realistic. I just wish I could not feel so gutted about it.
AMIS - thank you, its nice to hear that your colleague has done well and looks good.
Akhems- Well done! 10 stones is amazing, you must be so proud smile

akhems Mon 17-Aug-09 18:53:24

AWw thank you, I've still got about 5-6 more to go tho yet, so even tho I'm investigating plastics, I'm nowhere near ready for that yet.

SoS.. you might not have a body like a model afterwards, but you can look pretty damn good.. I know cos I've got friends who've had various surgeries and look fabulous.

One of them went on Extreme Makeover and had it all paid for - she also had lost a lot of weight and had excess skin issues etc and now looks amazing, was £££ tho if she'd had to pay for it. I'll ask her if I can show you her photos, if I can figure out a way to do it.

The two surgeons I'm considering are Peter Arnstein at East Grinstead and David Ross at St Thomas's in London, failing those I'll go overseas, either to the US, Brazil or Argentina as there are some amazing surgeons there too.

It is depressing tho, when you look like a scrunched up paper bag under your clothes and I have no idea how I'd handle a new relationship and the 'reveal' of the body.

Just give yourself lots of time, you're doing phenomenally well and remember to drink lots of water and keep your skin well moisturised, that will help a bit

LadyOfWaffle Mon 17-Aug-09 19:13:07

To a lesser extend I think I may face the same problems. I weighed 16 stone at one point, and hope to get down to about 9 being 5'3". My stomach already is very floppy, saggy and very very crepey. I was almost tempted to stay at my weight now as it's abit more padded out, but the bottom line is I am mainly doing this for health reasons. I wouldn't google surgery results, I would seek out good plastic surgeons and ask to see their results and talk to them about it. You are far mroe likely to come across rare horror stories on google

ShrinkingOrSinking Tue 18-Aug-09 00:02:27

LadyofWaffle - Good luck with it! It is a worry but of course you're right, its the health benefits of weight loss that matter. You're also right about googling - I must remember that google is not always my friend grin

Akhems - thank you! The reveal moment is whats been plaguing me tbh, I just cant imagine how I'll feel getting naked in front of anyone. Possibly I'm jumping the gun a bit there but it will be an issue at some point - not ready for a celibate life! (fingers crossed!) I would absolutely love to see your friends pictures if that is at all possible. Let me know and I will pass on my email address. Thank you again x

akhems Wed 19-Aug-09 10:38:31

hiya SOS, I don't know how to do the cat thing but if you're willing to put your email address here I'll send you the piccies

Celery Wed 19-Aug-09 10:47:50

I lost four stone, not a massive amount of weight, but it was a big deal for me. It's all relative and personal isn't it? Anyway, I went down from a size 18 to a size 10, and I am pretty unhappy with my body now. Even with exercise, I have loose skin around my stomach, and my boobs have been totally destroyed. I look fine with clothes on, I don't regret losing the weight, but I would dearly love surgery on my boobs. I have the excess skin of 40F's, just empty skin. I'm wearing size 32D now.

I think it depends a lot on the type of skin you have, some people are lucky and have skin that bounces back, although with a huge weight loss, I imagine that some damage is inevitable whatever type of skin you have.

cocolepew Wed 19-Aug-09 10:52:28

My friends neice lost a vast amount of weigh, she was able to get the excess skin removed on the NHS.

tullytwo Wed 19-Aug-09 10:53:17

akhems if you dont mind me asking how have you lost the weight? I have 10 stone or so to lose-am 2 stone down but never really get to talk to people that have large amounts of weight to lose so always want to ask for advice, info etc

akhems Wed 19-Aug-09 11:06:58

hi Tully

I had something called a Duodenal Switch, whereby your stomach is reduced roughly to the size of a little finger (like what Hecate had done) and your intestines are re-routed so that the way you absorb calories is altered. I now absorb approximately 20% of fat calories, 60% of protein, 80% of carbohydrate and sadly 100% of sugars, lol.

My diet now is mostly meat and fish with a bit of fruit and veg thrown in (pretty similar to Atkins really) and the only stipulation is that I must eat 100g of protein per day. I also have to take quite a lot of vitamins and supplements.

It was a drastic step but after years of diets and eating disorders I felt it was the only way I was ever going to have any sort of quality of life. I had reached almost 26 stone at the time of my op.

Pacific Wed 19-Aug-09 11:07:15

I have lost 6 st with a gastric band, have another 2 to go. My skin has gone a bit saggy but I do have to wear industrial undies. I look OK with my clothes on. I know that sometimes you can be lucky and get excess skin removed on the NHS and I know someone who had a whole body lift in Turkey.

I have decided to stick with the strong elastic and hope that some of the skin will eventually disappear. I had the gastric band primarily for health reasons (although I am happier now that I look better too) so I have decided to live with it rather than undergo more surgery for what would be vanity reasons.

I can undertsand your worries though, I am considerably older than you and have no intentions of ever letting a man see me naked least not with the light on!

skihorse Wed 19-Aug-09 11:11:16

I lost 8 stone and whilst my boobs, arms & thighs got away with it - my tummy did not.

Obviously the skin goes nowhere - despite "well-meaning" folks telling you to do exercise. hmm

In the end I opted for a tummy tuck - which nearly killed me. My parents ended up flying in to the country to sob next to my hospital bed as transfusions were fed in to me - but not as fast as the blood was haemorraging out.

It was a complete botch. My tummy is still ugly - but worse than that was that my torso actually changed shape! Whilst I used to have a slinky waist with an albeit crepey stomach, now everything has been wrenched up it seems and I'm quite "solid" through the torso - which I HATE!

Strangely enough, the first time my OH saw me naked was not long after the op - when I had 90 (!) metal stitches across my abdomen.

It took me a good 6 months to be free from pain and at one point I was sent for an ultrasound because they suspected I was growing a bone (!) due to calcification internally.

The one good thing to come of the botch job is that it's not particularly tight and so my pregnancy(s) should pose no problem - but given the choice again I'm not sure I'd do it.

RumourOfAHurricane Wed 19-Aug-09 13:06:18

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