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Help! Honest advice.........leave them alone or ring?

(27 Posts)
ditherdither Sat 21-May-05 21:03:41

My friend rang earlier today to cancel our night out - her youngest ds ( age 1) had to be admitted to hospital - on a nebuliser and oxygen, having lots of breathing difficulties.

I didn't speak to her in person, she left a message on my answerphone - poor girl sounded fraught and in bits as you would in this situation.

I rang back and left a message, said I hoped he would be ok etc.

The thing is I'm sat here so worried for her and wanting to offer support, help, find out if her ds has improved etc. But, then I'm thinking they've probably got the world and his wife calling and I will just add to the hassle.

We don't see as much of each other as we'd like, but she's a good friend and one of the sweetest people I've ever met.

I've changed my name for this, I don't know why, except I'm obsessive about my anonymity.

Shall I leave them be or ring?

WideWebWitch Sat 21-May-05 21:04:25

Ring. They don't have to answer or speak to you. Just say you're thinking of her and to let you know if there's anything you can do.

hunkermunker Sat 21-May-05 21:04:46

Ring her.

MarsLady Sat 21-May-05 21:11:06


hunkermunker Sat 21-May-05 21:11:27

Have you rung yet?

Hope her DS is OK - must've been v scary.

Mud Sat 21-May-05 21:12:01

Ring - no question - or text

AngelCakeUmm Sat 21-May-05 21:12:29

I would ring is well, my ds was aditted to hospital about 3 weeks ago with breathing problems and he had a very bad cough they found it was croup, he was also put on a nebuliser and given a steroid liquid medicine.

Hope your friends ds is ok, its so worrying when there young like this

KBear Sat 21-May-05 21:13:36

definitely ring - they will unplug the phone if they don't want to speak to anyone else. She will be glad of a friend.

ditherdither Sat 21-May-05 21:16:54

Thanks everyone.

I've rung and left a message on her mobile - she's probably at the hospital and can pick it up when she is able to.

MarsLady Sat 21-May-05 21:17:55

well done!

ditherdither Sun 22-May-05 21:55:54

I haven't heard anything.

When should I ring again? I don't want to be a pest.

I'm v worried .

ditherdither Sun 22-May-05 22:03:59


or some reassurance that I'm getting v anxious needlessly.

Evesmama Sun 22-May-05 22:06:57

ring hosp..they can either tell you any news or ask your friend to come to phone if everything ok?

pupuce Sun 22-May-05 22:07:39

Well I am of the school of thought that you have rang her once already and left a message, I'd leave it until Tuesday (she obviously has other things on her mind then to ring back just now).... but I am sure it isn't what you wanted to hear....
If what happened to your friend was serious she is probably still in hospital.
Have you friends in common ? Have they heard?

pupuce Sun 22-May-05 22:10:05

Someone posted a similar issue a while back and everyone told her to ring, I tend to disagree with that actually.... People need space to deal with problems and if "everyone" one who cares starts to chase them up.... again I am sure I won't be popular.

Goldfish Sun 22-May-05 22:10:13

She will have your message so she will know you have rung her and she will be grateful. She may not get back to you tonight as it is getting late.
I would leave it now until the morning and ring after 9, say in case she gets back late or something and is asleep. She knows you have rung and she knows you care. Try not worry too much as
her ds is in the best hands xxx

ditherdither Sun 22-May-05 22:11:38

The calm sensible me says leave it until tomorrow evening.

astonished Sun 22-May-05 22:12:24

Agree with Pupuce. my friend lost her mum last week in a really tragic accident, she fell down the stairs, only in her fifties. Obviously my friend is distraught and i want to be as supportive as possible. When it first happened i phoned her and left a message saying she knows where i am if she needs me whatever time. It took her a couple of days to get in touch but she appreciated that i hadn't bombarded her. at times like these people are going through hard enough times without feeling obliged to keep others posted IYSWIM. I'm sure she knows you care and the best thing you can do is just be there. Hope all is well.xx

pupuce Sun 22-May-05 22:13:12

I think your calm side is right....

ditherdither Sun 22-May-05 22:13:31

pupuce, it is what I needed to hear - I get over anxious in these situations due to my own past experiences.

ditherdither Sun 22-May-05 22:20:50

Thanks everyone

rickman Sun 22-May-05 22:27:14

Message withdrawn

Goldfish Sun 22-May-05 22:31:01

Yes, thinking again, I would leave it for a while.
She will have a lot on her mind, and she will need some space. She knows you care and that will do for now. Hope you feel better now about the situation. Good luck to you and your friend

Evesmama Mon 23-May-05 14:55:29

hi, have you heard from your friend???
is her ds ok??

FIMAC1 Mon 23-May-05 17:33:08

She won't be able to have her phone switched on in hospital anyway - you can call and leave a msg with the ward clerk? Its nice to know that people are thinking of you when you are in hosptial with a sick child - they will leave her a note - you can say you have left a msg on her mobile

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