I've changed!!

[helpmenow]

not surehow I actually did it, but I hope think i've name changed. I'm off to first AA meeting tomorrow. A few days of sobriety last week made me face up to the fact that I've been drunk now for at least a year. I've already booked a taxi, any other words of wisdom?

[JesuslovesCatholicSchools]

well done good luck

[gigglewitch]

well done you!
Believe in yourself.

[helpmenow]

Thank you jlcs and gw, I've seen gw on other messages I only have to get to bed, then get dd2 and ds on bus in the morning then get to the AA meeting. I think they all know I drink I need to get sober for the holidays and for ever.

[gigglewitch]

you have got the intention and that has got to be 90% of the path to success, hasn't it? You have taken the hardest step, so from here in you are on your way. Try not to be critical of yourself if you make a little mistake here and there,keep your eye on the place you are going. I hope this isn't a bunch of cliché's - to me where you are going is a lot like my experience trying to get out of depression, it is soo hard because you just get your head stuck in one place and it takes an absolutely massive effort to change the way that you are used to going about things. In that way I think I get what the thing's about. In terms of how brave you are to tackle it, I can only take my (witches) hat off to you

[helpmenow]

Me again in case settings enable, encourage more support (verbose bumping)

[gigglewitch]

ner I beat you to it

[helpmenow]

Thank you GW, FWIW and I know its just an excuse, but I blame it all on depression, I used alcohol to help me escape and sleep all day.

[MyDHhasnomemory]

Also want to say good luck and well done. What a positive step you are taking! Be proud of yourself.

[thumbwitch]

well done, what a great step, hope it all works out for you - and think how much money you will save!
Bravo!

[helpmenow]

Another witch! Bless you both and nomemoryhusband, thank you!

[jasper]

you absolutely must get this book

It will keep you really inspired.

[helpmenow]

about to crash now- and how- thank you all of you.

[helpmenow]

How true to stereotype, I've not gone to bed, but thank you, jasper I've ordered that book. Won't say Good Night and fail yet again....(I'll be lurking.

[thumbwitch]

away with you to bed - you want to stay awake at your first meeting, don't you?
Night then!!

[jasper]

so glad you ordered the book. It is a stunning piece of writing. I finished reading it tonight.

[helpmenow]

Sorry to let down the witches, jasper and dhhnm, I'm still up! Will put Dcs on school bus in just under 3 hours then crash until meeting. Wish me well, thanks.

[helpmenow]

Definitely off to bed now, just wanted Gigglewitch to know that I copied and pasted her message of 23.27 to my email for inspiration. Thank you all.

[gigglewitch]

aww - you sweetie. hope it goes well this morning.

[jasper]

helpmenow, how did it go?
I have been thinking about you all day - just got in!

[MIFLAW]

Keep coming back - don't leave before the miracle happens!

ODAAT ...

[helpmenow]

I didn't think I could namechange back, but I can, so a year on here's an update....the miracle has happened.

I made it to the meeting the following day, didn't get it at all and decided just to stop drinking for a month, which was when I was due to go on a big family holiday. The holiday was great, although I got a bit twitchy when I couldn't have enough to drink.

I drank steadily on the plane home and a month later hit my rock bottom. I was utterly desperate, and just praying that something would happed and the whole situation would be taken out of my hands. I told my DH and Mother pretty much what I said in the first post here (amazingly they had no idea that drink was the problem, though I was manifestly very unhappy) and got back to the rooms.

I still didn't understand how AA was going to help, but as my best attempts to manage my life and drinking were not working I stopped drinking and started attending meetings. I've had a couple of slips on the way; at the beginning I was only attending 1 meeting a week and not thinking about drinking outside the rooms.

I am now six months sober, work a good programme, (on step 4 now), have a sponsor and get to as many meetings as I can fit in, sometimes 2 a day, at least 4/ week.

It says in the promises 'if we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through'- I'm certainly living that; I'm happier now than I ever have been. I have a job, having avoided work through fear for years, even before my alcoholism was active. My relationships in and without my family are harmonious and drama, if not problem, free.

Everyone who answered me above 12 stepped me. I read the book jasper linked to and I revisit it still- it makes for a different read this side of the bottle. I bumped into MIFLAW a few weeks ago and was very proud to tell him how we'd met before and how he'd helped me.

Thank you all again for answering last year.

[jesuswhatnext]

helpmenow - what a fantastic post, i am 5 weeks sober today, 6 months seems a bit of a tall order sometimes so i try not to think too far ahead, your post makes me believe it is achievable though

thank you

[helpmenow]

jwn, I've been following your story- that's what inspired me to update this thread. It really is a Daily Reprieve. The moment I started working the programme which was for me when I turned up and really listened things started to get much better very quickly, and when I slipped I was right back at the bottom. The good news is when I got back to AA, shared and gave my will over again I also picked up my sobriety where I'd left off.

[algee]

thank you.

[helpmenow]

Hello again

Another year on, still sober and occasional Brave Babe! I couldn't begin to imagine how this would work out. I literally couldn't think straight and I didn't have the imagination or hope to see a better life. None of the good things have changed- same wonderful DP and children, same house but different me!