so worried!

[kaylasmum]

Hi, I have health anxiety and at the moment i'm going through a really bad time. For the past week i've had some rectal pain and discomfort, it started with me having a particularly bad flare up of ibs which i've had for about 20 years. I tend to get flare ups when stressed and the last month has been extremely stressful. Anyway i went to my gp and told him that i was worried about rectal cancer and he said that my symptoms did'nt sound indicitive of cancer and that it was most likely internal piles or a fissure, I've had piles on and off over the years but they were mainly external. He said he could do a rectal examination and i asked if he thought that it was necessary and he said that he did'nt really think so, so he gave a prescription for some suppositries. Two days later i started panicking again and decided to go back to my gp, this time it was a different one that i saw but one that knows me very well. He discussed my mental health issues and said that i'm showinh no signs of rectal cancer. He also seemed reluctant to do a rectal examination and told me to continue with the suppositries and if i felt the need to go ack for an examination then that would be fine.

He seemed a little annoyed with me, but i have been to him thinking that i have had a brain tumour, ovarion cancer, bowel cancer and worried that my kids have all kinds of cancers too. seemingly i have a cancer phobia aswell as health anxiety.

I've finished the medication but am still feeling some discomfort when going to the toilet and when i sit down. I'm just so overwhelmed by fear that it is almost paralyising and i've been getting very dark thoughts about not being here for my kids.

I'm sorry this post is long, i suppose i'm hoping that someone will come on here and say that they have had very painful internal piles. God! i'm such a wreck! My son got married yesterday and what should have been a wonderful day was tinged with this terrible fear. I'm going to go back to my gp but won't be able to go for a couple of days as i've got a busy time ahead of me. I have my cbt session tomorrow and we're going to Turkey next Monday for 2 weeks, i should be excited about it but i can't look forward to it because of this awful fear.

[3littlefrogs]

Can you go back to the original doctor, who was prepared to do a rectal examination? I think that would really be your best course of action.

[kaylasmum]

i am going to go back. i just don't think i can cope with this, i'm falling apart.

[3littlefrogs]

Is there anyone who could go with you, for moral support?

[Lulumama]

are you having any help with your health anxiety?

because if not, once you get over your fear of this particular illness, another one will set in

is your GP helping with that?

[ThePhantomPlopper]

I have health anxiety too, It started after a difficult birth with DS. Its always cancer for me also.

I'm having therapy, I needed it after spending an entire year panicking I had skin cancer, cervical cancer, brain tumour, leukaemia and both Hodgkinsons and non hodgkinsons disease. It was exhausting and depressing.

I had it mildly as a child but post natal depression set it off badly. The only time I went to the doctor was the time I thought I had hodgkinsons as I had a lump in my neck, the rest of the time I spent it silently panicking to myself.

Therapy has helped, I still worry sometimes, but can look at it more logically.

Go see your GP and get referred. Good luck.

[kaylasmum]

thank you all for your replies, i am currently receiving CBT for my anxiety although i've not had an appointment for a while due to one thing and another but i do have one tomorrow, thankfully. I'm just such a nervous wreck and always imagine that myself or my kids have some kind of cancer. i'm sick of living like this, i'm not happy the majority of the time and when i am its like i'm just waiting for the next big crisis to come along. I want to enjoy my kids and my life but this anxiety has a firm grip on me, i'm so embarrassed that i can't be strong and normal like other people.