If peter gets higher rate mobility, and you need someone to come in to do 'his share' of the domestic stuff (I.e. what he would do if he were fit) then you may be able to get Direct Payments from social services to pay a cleaner. I get it, to help me 'carry out the tasks that any other mother does'.
Speak to social services, or feel free to CAT me if you like.
Misdee, I got it through the social services disability team, but I think SS has different structures in different regions.
Ring SS and ask for details of the Direct Payments scheme. It has replaced the old home help system, so that you find your own 'staff' and administer paying them yourself, but with a Direct Payment from social services. They will come and assess how much help Peter needs, and should then award the payment at a rate of x hours per week (about £8.00 per hour atm). So when they come, you basically explain the same things you put on the DLA form about the care he needs. It doesn't matter that you are there to help him, it assumes that you wouldn't be (as if you were working, or as you have to deal with your children).
As with all social services matters, it can take time I guess, although mine got sorted within 2 weeks of me coming home from hospital.