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had to phone work and feel guilty...why?

(12 Posts)
darlingbud Tue 12-Apr-05 09:55:36

Since Last week dd (2.3 yrs) has been suffering with a bad cold that has also come with a gammy eye. On Saturday she started to get hotter and complaining of her ears hurting. Took her to doctors yesterday am and he says she has an ear infection and a bad throat. He has given er antibiotics, ear drops and calpol for her temperature. I phoned the childminder to say she wasn't well and wouldn't be going so I then phoned work to ask if I could have a couple of days holiday as there was no-pne to look after her (dh works on his own 10-10 Mon & Tues). The woman at work said "well you have no other option do you?" and it was the way she said it that made me feel guilty and as though she didn't believe me.
Should I feel guilty about not being in work at short notice due to child being ill?

Blackduck Tue 12-Apr-05 10:00:25

No, don't feel guilty, and stuff her....you should have siad 'no I don't have any other option, otherwise I wouldn't be phoning'.....

alicatsg Tue 12-Apr-05 10:15:21

no. And she should be glad that you're taking it as holiday and not pulling a sickie.

darlingbud Tue 12-Apr-05 11:47:47

I am constantly worried that I am going to get a talking to tomorrow when I return (dh day off tomorrow so he will have her all day)

Blackduck Tue 12-Apr-05 11:54:10

If she starts point out there are gov regs about Time Off for Dependents (check out www.direct.gov.uk) Okay under these terms they don't have to pay you- but you offered to take holiday so whats the issue?

darlingbud Tue 12-Apr-05 12:59:17

I realise I can have the time off but its the way they spoke to me on the phone (just spoken to another manager now to say would be back tomorrow and she was off with me too).
I realise they are busy but what could I do - no-one free to look after her (dh mum and dad are older so wouldnt cope and my mum and dad away) and I always wanted my mum when I was ill. She is only 2 FFS.

Blackduck Tue 12-Apr-05 13:01:24

I'd try to ignore it and not make it any issue unless they do.

mummytosteven Tue 12-Apr-05 13:03:44

no - your family is more important than your job. it's far too easy to fall into the "good girl" trap in the workplace - you have to put your own needs first, as noone else in the workplace will do that for you. your managers obviously have their own stresses/targets that they are passing down the line to you.

darlingbud Tue 12-Apr-05 13:03:45

I have just completed a management course and the presentaion was toorrow am. My manager told me that she is now too bsy to go and it might be best if I cancel my attendance at it too as things are really busy. I have psent over 12 months doing that course - I am a bit pissed off now.

Blackduck Tue 12-Apr-05 13:11:17

I'd point out the amount of time I'd spent on the course, and suggest that I would like to go ahead with the presentation tomorrow as I'd like to bring it to a conclusion. DOes your manager need to be there? If she does, then ask to have the date rearranged and agreed.

bonniej Tue 12-Apr-05 13:16:18

do you know, every job I've ever had you get attitude when you have to phone in for amy reason. I had a miscarriage once and didn't want to explain to work so just told them I wasn't well, and the manager actually CAME ROUND to my house to check!! I was so . When you have children they have to be your priority and companies should understand that, and also should realise that although some people do pull sickies, don't assume that everyone does! Don't feel guilty any longer, your daughter needed you and that was that.

piffle Tue 12-Apr-05 13:24:13

I used to work in a call centre and was a single parent, ds got chicken pox, then a really bad dose of tummy flu, then high temp lethrgy and ear infection over a ten day period.
They actually visited me at home to "check" up on me, thank hel they did as they saw what state I was in and went off to do some shopping for me as I had nothing as I could not leave house.
I did get "lectured" about it, but explained, I am not coming into work when my child is sick, nursery cannot have him when he is ill, I have no family to speak of to help me, if you try to sack me, I'll go to the union
I had plenty more time off with ds (it was one of those years) all without pay, and never another word was said
If it was now though dh can work from home so he'd stay
So guilt NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO it's your baby

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