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wanting another baby

(4 Posts)
fluffball Sat 29-Mar-03 15:57:09

maybe i should be happy with what i,ve got as i have a little boy and a little girl and they both are wonderful,before i disscussed this with my partner i wasn,t to bothered about having another baby but then i,d never thought about it,but then when he said he didnt want any more, it very nearly broke my heart as i,ve always wanted a big family,i was an only child and had not much other family apart from my parents so i,ve always wanted a big family now i can make my own ,am i being selfish.

EmmaTMG Sat 29-Mar-03 16:46:58

Absolutley not selfish. My DH said he only wanted 2 even before we had any children and I always thought 3 was a nice number.
We have 2 boys now and when DS2 was about 5 months I started getting broody again, the feeling came and went a few times but when he was about 14 months it came and didn't go. I thought about having another baby all the time, and I really mean that if I woke up in the night thats what I'd think about. He constantly had a answer/argument to all my pleads for another baby and I truly thought I was fighting a losing battle.
On boxing day last year we were on the way to MIL house and I bought up the subject again, we talked about for a few minutes and then fell silent. DH asked what I was thinking about, to which I said with tears in my eyes ' you know what I'm thinking about, I always think about it' until that moment I really didn't know quite how important it was to me and the tears were as much a surprise to me as they were to him. Anyway the long and short of this story is if you feel like you want more children than don't give up, your DH may very well change his mind. Mine did and I'm now 15 weeks PG and very very happy.
He said to me the other day 'You knew you'd be able to change my mind didn't you' and I honestly thought I really was wasting my time, like an impossible quest but now I think he's more happy about this pregnancy than I ever remember him being with our boys.
Don't give up and be happy.

fluffball Sat 29-Mar-03 17:02:56

thanks for answering to me,CONGRATULATIONS,you must be very happy i dont think its going to be that easy for me my hubby is one of them,when thay,ve made their minds up that final,my daughter is only 18 months old and my little boy is 2 and a half, theres only a year and 13 days between them which somrtimes can make things difficult which is what maybe has put him off having any more,i just dont think i could be happy if this is it.

snickers Sat 29-Mar-03 17:52:08

fluffball - read Libby Purves book "how not to raise a perfect family" - and there is a chapter in thre where she talks about the grief (and it is grief) and the thought that your cosy, warm womb may never house another child etc. It's a fact that even women of several children will have to face up to potentially. It seems to sad to leave those baby years behind and having a big family seems so ideal at times. My partner is also set on the idea of stopping at 2, and I don't know how I feel about this yet, as I am only on no1. But having left it quite a few years before starting a family, I might have to face up to the fact that it could be "too late" to have a third anyway. There are pros and cons to families of three and above, but whatever, it should be a joint decision. But you deserve to both have the discussion, and to talk frankly about the reasons why you do, or do not want another child. Don't build resentment on the matter. And in the meantime, enjoy the children you have

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